Now before some Christian tells me that this is the point of Lent – that we are supposed to feel, in some small part, Christ's sacrifices, I want to point out that I have not had Diet Dr. Pepper in two days, people.
You know, if someone (for example, the love of my life, my hubbie) told me that he had a Diet Dr. Pepper and would not give it to me for my own good, I think I may be able to rip his heart out of his chest cavity. And I am not a violent person, really.
Is it sinful to think lustfully about a beverage? I just hope I don't have any dreams about me, a dew-covered Diet Dr. Pepper and strange sexual positions. I was going to google fetishes to see if others share my strange thoughts, but then I thought this may be too tempting for me to resist. I just have to resist this.
And, one would think with this caffeine out of my system, my brain would function more normally. And if you believed this, you would be wrong. I am continually scatter-brained. Completely. And when I close my eyes and try to gather my thoughts, I dream of Diet Dr. Pepper.
Not only am I a mess physically, emotionally and mentally, but financially, I am going to be missing out. There is currently a game to find some sort of treasure. Had I more brain function, I could tell you more about this game. Let's just say all I can remember is drink Diet Dr. Pepper, then entering the 12-digit code from the bottle top into a website. I vaguely remember getting clues. And I have no idea what prizes they are offering. I have to have some empties around here somewhere. Is it wrong to go through my trashcan to look for them? I could uncap them and smell the sweet nectar that is Diet Dr. Pepper.
Where was I? I really don't know. My only hope is that some demonic creature will offer me a Diet Dr. Pepper for what is left of my shriveled soul.
And the saddest thing is that I thought of this post last night – though I was going to use it for Monday (which to me will be known as Day 6). And I was not sure I would ever make Day 6. If you think you might want to experience this type of religion, cross over to becoming Catholic. Perhaps they will use this post as a new ad campaign. I could trade it to them for a Diet Dr. Pepper.
3. My Stories. Yeah, I have a few erotic stories here. I know, they are not all that good, but they were fun to write. Don't read them if this offends you (and they represent less than 1% of the content here). These stories have elements of truth and fantasy, some more true than others. Complain about something that is a bit more substantive if you must complain. I have lots of faults.
11 comments:
We're in the same boat! Scatter brains? Believe me, I've had stranger dreams other than Dr. Pepper and strange sexual positions. (Involuntary of course!) Remember back in time when all you had to do was open the bottle cap and read that you were a winner.............or loser? Now you have to get codes and go online to figure it all out.
Sometimes I really hate the over usage of the internet. Double edged sword!
Drink a cup of coffee. That will fix your issue. The scatter brained nature you are experience is called..*gasps* withdrawal. ;)
Caffeine is a drug after all. It's a performance enhancer, and without it your brain and your body suffer withdrawals if you've been having caffeine present for a long time.
~Deb: Hope you are feeling better. I love your writing, and have had similiar struggles.
prata: caffeine is my friend. I was thinking that it may be withdrawls.
Not being a regular Dr. Pepper consumer I thought, I cannot understand such pain. But then I thought, if I were to give up coffee for Lent, I would be going through the same agonies, so now I get it. Chacun a son vice, right? Anyway, hang in there, girl, and the 40 days will pass in no time.
Ian
Only 40 days? You mean there is an ending point to your current torture? I'm tryng to quit smoking, it's supposed to be forever, I'm not even getting any heaven points for it. The next person who congratulates me for giving up the one thing that keeps me calm and rational is going to get an earful of profanity so vile they'll need to bleach their ears. Hang in Leesa.
"Dr. Pepper: The New Religion"
~~Can you just see this on the Top of The New York Times (Non-Fiction) Bestseller List??~~
Cheers!
xx,Cain.
I'm on day 17. I hate to say this, but it doesn't get any better. :-( I had to physically restrain myself from buying a diet pepsi yesterday. *sob*
kymc: doesn't help today, but thanks.
ian: I sure hope so.
kat: good luck with the stopping smoking.
cain: thanks.
shadow: wow; good for you.
I've driven 5 miles in a blizzard because I'd run out of diet Dr. Pepper. I paid the guy with dimes. I understand your obsession.
see, and i've never even HAD diet dr. pepper. i have not lived. to me, suffering comes in the form of a caramel mocha.
i suffer and suffer, and i'm not even Catholic.
Post a Comment