Thursday, February 22, 2007

Day 2

Today is Day 2. Not that it matters. Life seems to be shades of grey for me right now. Funny how 20 ounces of Diet Dr. Pepper in the morning can make everything seem better. What is worse is that now, if the devil popped into my office this morning, I am fairly sure I would sell my soul for a $1.19 Diet Dr. Pepper. I am not proud of this fact; I am simply stating it.This is the sweetest drink to touch my lips!

Now before some Christian tells me that this is the point of Lent – that we are supposed to feel, in some small part, Christ's sacrifices, I want to point out that I have not had Diet Dr. Pepper in two days, people.

You know, if someone (for example, the love of my life, my hubbie) told me that he had a Diet Dr. Pepper and would not give it to me for my own good, I think I may be able to rip his heart out of his chest cavity. And I am not a violent person, really.

Is it sinful to think lustfully about a beverage? I just hope I don't have any dreams about me, a dew-covered Diet Dr. Pepper and strange sexual positions. I was going to google fetishes to see if others share my strange thoughts, but then I thought this may be too tempting for me to resist. I just have to resist this.

And, one would think with this caffeine out of my system, my brain would function more normally. And if you believed this, you would be wrong. I am continually scatter-brained. Completely. And when I close my eyes and try to gather my thoughts, I dream of Diet Dr. Pepper.

Not only am I a mess physically, emotionally and mentally, but financially, I am going to be missing out. There is currently a game to find some sort of treasure. Had I more brain function, I could tell you more about this game. Let's just say all I can remember is drink Diet Dr. Pepper, then entering the 12-digit code from the bottle top into a website. I vaguely remember getting clues. And I have no idea what prizes they are offering. I have to have some empties around here somewhere. Is it wrong to go through my trashcan to look for them? I could uncap them and smell the sweet nectar that is Diet Dr. Pepper.

Where was I? I really don't know. My only hope is that some demonic creature will offer me a Diet Dr. Pepper for what is left of my shriveled soul.

And the saddest thing is that I thought of this post last night – though I was going to use it for Monday (which to me will be known as Day 6). And I was not sure I would ever make Day 6. If you think you might want to experience this type of religion, cross over to becoming Catholic. Perhaps they will use this post as a new ad campaign. I could trade it to them for a Diet Dr. Pepper.

12 comments:

~Deb said...

We're in the same boat! Scatter brains? Believe me, I've had stranger dreams other than Dr. Pepper and strange sexual positions. (Involuntary of course!) Remember back in time when all you had to do was open the bottle cap and read that you were a winner.............or loser? Now you have to get codes and go online to figure it all out.

Sometimes I really hate the over usage of the internet. Double edged sword!

Prata said...

Drink a cup of coffee. That will fix your issue. The scatter brained nature you are experience is called..*gasps* withdrawal. ;)

Caffeine is a drug after all. It's a performance enhancer, and without it your brain and your body suffer withdrawals if you've been having caffeine present for a long time.

Leesa said...

~Deb: Hope you are feeling better. I love your writing, and have had similiar struggles.

prata: caffeine is my friend. I was thinking that it may be withdrawls.

KYCM said...

I am the same with my Diet Mt. Dew....got to have it. I felt the pain a while back but it was only a few days while in the hospital. Hope you don't end up there...lol. Just remember why and what a good girl you are being. You will be blessed for your misery!

KYCM

Ian Lidster said...

Not being a regular Dr. Pepper consumer I thought, I cannot understand such pain. But then I thought, if I were to give up coffee for Lent, I would be going through the same agonies, so now I get it. Chacun a son vice, right? Anyway, hang in there, girl, and the 40 days will pass in no time.

Ian

Kat said...

Only 40 days? You mean there is an ending point to your current torture? I'm tryng to quit smoking, it's supposed to be forever, I'm not even getting any heaven points for it. The next person who congratulates me for giving up the one thing that keeps me calm and rational is going to get an earful of profanity so vile they'll need to bleach their ears. Hang in Leesa.

Cain said...

"Dr. Pepper: The New Religion"

~~Can you just see this on the Top of The New York Times (Non-Fiction) Bestseller List??~~

Cheers!

xx,Cain.

Shadowdog said...

I'm on day 17. I hate to say this, but it doesn't get any better. :-( I had to physically restrain myself from buying a diet pepsi yesterday. *sob*

Shadowdog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leesa said...

kymc: doesn't help today, but thanks.

ian: I sure hope so.

kat: good luck with the stopping smoking.

cain: thanks.

shadow: wow; good for you.

That's one clever little Yvonne said...

I've driven 5 miles in a blizzard because I'd run out of diet Dr. Pepper. I paid the guy with dimes. I understand your obsession.

Crys said...

see, and i've never even HAD diet dr. pepper. i have not lived. to me, suffering comes in the form of a caramel mocha.

i suffer and suffer, and i'm not even Catholic.