Tuesday, September 30, 2008

777 Point Tumble: Message from a Former Bimbo

I admit it. I always wanted to write a blog entry with the words "tumble" and "bimbo" in the same title. Tumble and bimbo go together like bacon and eggs, grits and honey, or the Captain and Tennille. They just work together.

I admit it. I was a bit surprised by yesterday's events. When Nancy Pelosi said that the Republicans, I was not surprised. But saying it right before a "non partisan" vote seemed a little extreme. Guess she thought she had the votes. Oh, yeah, and she told 16 Dems to vote against the bill. Not to worry. She had the votes. From where I sit, I don't think most Republicans like Bush, and she basically wanted to align all Republicans with Bush and tell them it was their own damn fault. Hearing her speech reminded me of watching an illusionist in Las Vegas. Or was it Reno. Somewhere where gambling (and prostitution) is legal. I sort of think all places where both are legal look the same – lots of big breasted women in cocktail dresses at four in the afternoon, and slot machines on every damn surface.

I admit it. When I wrote that bit about prostitution and gambling, I thought that could explain the credit crunch. I mean, mortgage companies were gambling that housing values would go up and up, all of the time. Hell, I can remember when I purchased a house a few years ago, the mortgage company did not want us to put anything down. They said they could not legally say this, but if we got in trouble with the house payment, that we could just flip the house for a profit. Yeah, I wonder why they told me it if they could not legally say it. You have the real estate agent, the mortgage broker, the title company, all working together like pimps and prostitutes. Working the housing industry like the prostitutes work the street. Now that I have the "tits and ass" and "gambling" in this blog post, I can wrap this puppy up.

I admit it. I am mad at the banking industry – and Wall Street. AYou are going to hear a lot about how politics just robbed your 401Ks of 1.3 Trillion Dollars yesterday. Don't believe it. Wall Street already factored in the bailout into the equation and valued stocks accordingly. When it seemed that the bailout would not happen, they had to re-evaluate those stocks. They were counting on money to boost stocks again. Sons of bitches.

I admit it. I really hate mortgage bankers. Right now, the Federal Reserve has been trying to infuse money into the economy. But banks are sitting on all of this crappy debt, debt they knew was crappy. By not lending money, they are hoping against hope that the government will take over all of this bad debt.

I admit it. I got off track talking about prostitutes and gambling. Which brings me back to the illusionist at Reno. I did not finish the thought. The reason illusionists have beautiful assistants is to distract you. You are looking at the glittering cleavage and you miss the slight of hand. Right now the mortgage industry - the whole banking industry is hoping you look at the blonde's knockers, because they really, really want the 700 Billion dollar bailout. And I predict this as well, we will not hear bailout anymore. The word has stink attached to it. It will be a stimulus package or a rescue or something that sounds all noble and worthy of your representative's vote. Just keep your eye's on the illusionist, Americans. I don't want my 401K to go to hell in a hand basket, but I also don't want the government to fix a problem the banking industry made in the first place. With the help, of course, from Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae, and Alan Greenspan.

I wrote a funny little post for today, but I wanted to get this out. I know it is political and not funny. But at least there is a bit of T&A. Maybe I should find a picture and attach it to the post. I love Google for such things.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

$700 Billion

Okay, I have been listening to a lot of talk over the last several days. Last one night last week, a bunch of fat cats met in a back room, and they came up with a plan to save the US economy. Put this in perspective. If you wrote a digit per dollar on a piece of paper, one thousand of them, turned the paper over and then wrote another 1,000 digits on the back, you would need another 349,999,999 pieces of paper to make 700 billion digits. 700 billion is a lot of money. And the people cobbling together the plan either are lobbyists or are elected officials. I am sure these people can't do anything wrong with such a complex issue. Lucky for us, they don't have any hidden agendas. Lucky for us.

The price of my home has gone down more than 10 percent over the past year. No big deal. I still make the payments. My investments have gone down more than 15 percent over the past year. Gas prices have gone up a bit over the past year – twenty or more percent, I would guess. Food prices are up double digits as well.

So we will be spending $700 Billion on whatever. Golden parachutes, I suppose. Investment bankers' trust funds. Whatever. Yeah, I know. This may stop my investments from going south. Maybe. I mean, these fat cats without hidden agendas, they know best. Right?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Finger

I don't think it is very lady-like to give someone "the finger." I don't remember when I knew what the finger meant, but the first time I remember seeing it (e.g., it made an impact) was when a student in eighth grade gave a teacher a reverse finger (but you know what the student meant). He was a real cute guy, and I sort of had a crush on him.

I can still remember the student's right hand – it is etched on my brain. Or at least on chemicals that make my memory mine. It seemed like a really ugly gesture, and my crush on that guy ended.

Something happened over the years. My wide innocent eyes changed gradually. They did not change immediately or noticeably, but over time, with an ever increasing barrage of middle fingers, that obscene gesture because more commonplace.

Now, you can see the finger anytime a driver disagrees with your driving (so I have heard). And it makes me a little sad. How I long to be shocked by the middle finger.

Thursday, September 18, 2008


Woman adjusting her pokadot panties.Okay, the people who read me regularly know that I have not been writing regularly. I have had to make some adjustments - because I have other pursuits now. I have had to juggle my time; sort of like when you pull your panties out of your ass – making the panty adjustment. Okay, not really that way.

Every time I change something I need to make an adjustment. When I gave up Diet Dr. Pepper, I had to make adjustments. I had to keep sharp knives away from my desk at the office because without my caffeine fix I would risk plunging the knife into random passerbyers. PMS may be a legitimate murder defense, but caffeine withdrawal. Not so much.

When I started blogging, I made some adjustments, too. I had to sacrifice porn surfing for blogging. Oh, and I guess I sacrificed some work time as well. But I was willing to make that sacrifice. Guess it was more of a sacrifice for my bosses.

Well, I am not on a good schedule for blogging right now. I wanted to do a Tuesday-Thursday thing, but it has not worked out by now. Guess I need to adjust myself. Just making an adjustment.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

VP Contender Sarah Palin hacked

I saw this somewhere, and the original story follows. The site for the story is here, but as you would expect, the server is extremely busy and sometimes down.

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Wednesday September 16, 2008

Palin Tongue OutThe internet activist group "Anonymous," famed for its exposure of unethical behavior by the Scientology cult, has now gone after the Alaskan govenor and republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

At around midnight last night some members affiliated with the group gained access to governor Palin's email account "gov.palin@yahoo.com" and handed over the contents to the government sunshine site Wikileaks.org.

One of the family photos from the accountGovernor Palin has come under media criticism in the past week for using private email accounts to avoid Alaskan freedom of information laws. The contents of the mailbox show this to be true and also hold clues of at least one other Yahoo based mail account held by Palin, "gov.sarah@yahoo.com".

The zip archive made available by Wikileaks contains screen shots of Palin's inbox, two example emails, address book and a couple of family photos. The list of correspondence, together with the account name tends to re-enforce the earlier criticism of Palin's email use.

The list of emails include an exchange with Alaskan Lieutenant Governor Sean Parnell about his campaign for Congress. Another screenshot shows Palin's inbox and an e-mail from Amy McCorkell, whom Palin appointed to the Governor's Advisory Board on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse in 2007.

The e-mail, a message of support to Palin, tells her not to let negative press get to her and asks Palin to pray for McCorkell, who writes that "I need strength to 1. keep employment, 2. not have to choose."

According to Kim Zetter of Wired Magazine, McCorkell confirmed that she did send the e-mail to Palin.

Subsequently tests by Wikileaks reveal that both Palin's "gov.palin@yahoo.com" and her unrelated "gov.sarah@yahoo.com" account have now been deleted, almost certainly by Palin herself.

According to the Guardian, who has looked at the Wikileaks data, among the emails in Palin's account were several from addresses belonging to her aides, including a draft letter to California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, a discussion of nominations to the state court of appeals, and several bearing "DPS", the acronym for the Alaska Department of Public Safety.

DPS supervises the Alaska state troopers. Could the e-mails in question be relevant to the brewing ethics storm over Palin's push to sack her former brother-in-law from the force?

The contact list included also holds accounts for other official representative's private email accounts, including those of Alaska's Kris Perry and Sharon Leighow.

Screenshots and other details follow:

Friday, September 12, 2008

Slutty Writer at Your Service

I have been asked this a lot. "Leesa", my public says, "you write a shit-load of erotica. Are these from your own personal experiences?"

My public is a bit vulgar. And by "my public", I am talking about a few stalkers. Stalkers seem to be vulgar, live in basements, look down on people who eat Ramen but eat fast food, and have an alphabetized porn collection.

The erotica I write is not a blow-by-blow encounter of my life (if only) - but there are elements of truth in all of the stories. Some are truer than others, but all are a mixture of truth and fantasy. I mean, I don't want to give my brother-in-law a blow job. That is just wrong. And some girlfriend did not tie me up and leave me to be found by my husband (that one was mostly fantasy).

I think we all want to express ourselves in some way or another. Paris Hilton shows her pussy in public. I write. To each her own. Well, I am going to write another chapter for my book. Or surf the Internet, looking for Paris Hilton upskirts.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Patriot Day

Today is a holiday: Patriot Day.

I am not really sure I understand Patriot Day. As I have said previously, I don't get how being in a building on the wrong day at the wrong time makes on a hero/patriot. I know the terrorists were psycho douchbags. I get that.

But as Americans, we kinda piss people off. It does not mean that the people we piss off have a right to run into two of the World Trade Center Buildings or the Pentagon. I am not saying that. We should not, however, be surprised when psycho douchbags do bad things.

We already have Independence Day (a patriotic day), President's Day (a patriotic day), Veteran's Day (a patriotic day) and Memorial Day (a patriotic day). I don't see the need for another patriotic day. Unless the Mail carrier's union is pushing to get another holiday, a few years down the road.

Me, I am taking the day off. After all, a few years ago, 19 people walked onto planes to visit various New York and Washington, DC attractions. And we have not been the same since.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Glass Ceilings

The below video part of an interview with Diane Greene, who was the president of VMware. Yeah, I don't know what VMware does, but here is a short snippet from the announcement of the change of leadership:

VMware’s Board of Directors announced today that it has made a change in the leadership of the company with the departure of Diane Greene as President and CEO. VMware’s Board of Directors has appointed Paul Maritz as President and CEO of VMware effective immediately. Maritz was also named to VMware’s Board of Directors.

Joe Tucci, Chairman of VMware’s Board of Directors said “VMware is in a tremendous position to extend its lead in the virtualization market. VMware’s Board of Directors is very pleased to be able to appoint an executive with Paul’s experience and track record to lead VMware to its next stage of growth and development. Paul is a leader in the software industry. He has decades of experience building one of the greatest franchises in software history, Windows. Paul was instrumental as part of the core executive leadership team in building much of Microsoft’s success.

When I was in school, middle school or so, I can remember a push at school to get us (and by us, I mean girls) more interested in science. I don't remember the school focusing on math, but I do remember a push in science. I don't want to quote a lot of statistics (because it would be so hard to look them up), so I will make some up.

In the 1980s there were not too many women doctors. Now, there are a bunch of them. As a woman who sees a doctor for yearly checkups, I would just like to say, "Thank goodness." Lots of women in healthcare. But not lots of women in IT. Personally, I think more men are attracted to IT because of the porn. But I don't have statistics to back me up on that one.

Sarah PalinNow we have a woman VP candidate: Sarah Palin. She certainly reminds us that women certainly have come a long way, baby. I mean, she can field dress a moose, give money to Alaskans in the form of oil rebates, and become John McCain's running mate. The first woman presidential candidate was Victoria Woodhull (in 1872) with the Equal Rights Party (her running mate was Frederick Douglass). The first woman with a shot at the White House was Geraldine Ferraro. Okay, with a presidential nominee like Walter Mondale, perhaps Sarah Palin may be the first candidate with a legitimate shot at the White House. I am not saying I am going to vote for McCain. Actually, I don't know who I am going to vote for.

Perhaps her middle school had a science program, too. I mean, where else do you learn to dress a moose. Guess McCain lost the PETA vote with his selection. Oh, and I like what Diane Greene said about glass ceilings - if you don't like them, build the house.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Television Series Preview

I am not sure I am "back" or not. I have been thinking quite a bit about my blog – well, sometimes. Actually, it was very easy to just stop thinking about writing in my blog three times per week. It became a chore, writing all of the time. But something in my brain would look at something I saw and I would think, "I need to write about it in my blog." My brain became wired that way. Son-of-a-bitch.

Anyway, I had a lot of experiences this summer that I wanted to write about. I had a pretty interesting summer – and had a lot of fun. Crap, I sort of feel like the fifth grader that came back from summer, wanting to tell all of her friends about the summer. But I have not been that little girl in a very long time.

One of the things that I did this summer was to spend more than a week with a college friend – my rich college friend. I see her every once in a while, mostly for lunch. Anyway, hubbie was traveling on business for a while, and instead of be miserable and lonely, I spent some time with her.

I will tell you more about the trip later, but one thing that I did while with my girlfriend was watch a new show: Captain Cook's Extraordinary Atlas. And get this. The show is not yet available for the general public. I don't really know even if it will be picked up, but it was sort of cool being able to see a pilot before it was scheduled.

I really should not reveal anything about the pilot (it reminded me a lot of Spiderwick Chronicles), but it was way cool. And I don't even watch television. Now saying that, perhaps they are already promoting the television show. If they are, please remember I live under a rock and don't get out much. But it is sorta cool to have had a preview before the series aired.

Anyway, apparently there are lots of copies of movies, television shows and what not that are for preview only. This must have been one of those shows.

A short post, I know. But I just wanted to write this down before I forgot the whole name of the television show. It felt more like a movie than a TV show. Really cool.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Shovel Buddies

Last week, I heard a story about someone . . .

Well, read the AP story for yourself:

MAYFLOWER, Ark. – Auctioneers preparing for an estate sale Saturday morning made a scary discovery among the items up for bid – a suitcase full of military-grade explosives.

The rusted, padlocked suitcase sat alongside a porcelain coffee service set and other goods.

Auctioneers opened the suitcase, which belonged to a deceased former member of the U.S. Navy, just before the sale and found three blocks of military-grade C-4 plastic explosive, two tubes of a similar plastic explosive, a blasting cap and some dynamite.

Workers quickly called 911, and the Conway Fire Department's bomb squad collected the materials, drove them to an isolated spot and destroyed them, according to the Log Cabin Democrat.

When I heard the story in the car, the first thing I thought to myself was, "Too bad the guy did not have a shovel buddy." A shovel buddy is someone who has agreed to, after you have died, discretely get rid of all of your "loose ends." For most of this, this may involve adult toys that we don't want our friends and family to ever know about. You know, after losing granny, we really don’t want to tarnish the image with imagining her using a vibrator on . . . you get the picture (sorry).

A while back, I was a shovel buddy. That's actually how I found out about the term. A girlfriend of mine asked me to be her shovel buddy, not because we were best friends but because we were good friends and I was discrete and responsible. She had a toy chest that I was to dispose of if she and her husband were to die about the same time. And I was sort of fine with that arrangement. She gave me a key and a bit more information about her sex life than I wanted to know. Oh, and I was to dispose of her adult movies as well. Apparently her brother-in-law had a bookstore and she had a lot of adult movies. This was a few years ago, so they were movies, not DVDs, as I recall. Well, we have drifted apart a bit – and she took the key back and said she would find someone else to perform the task.

I was a bit hurt and a bit relieved. I was hurt because she took away a unique responsibility I had. And I sort of wanted to know what types of toys she had as well. But I was relieved because if anyone caught me removing property, well, I am pretty sure I would be trespassing and stealing, according to the law. Even if the deceased wanted me to do it. I mean the theft would be nothing like grand larceny (unless she had one of those Sybian machines). I mean, I am not sure I could explain this to the police.

Leesa: Yes, officer, what seems to be the problem.

Police Officer: Ma'am. We got a call from a neighbor. The occupant of this residence has recently become deceased, and the neighbor is concerned that you are not a family member.

Leesa: I am just picking up a few items that are . . . mine.

Police Officer: I count seven vibrators in this box. What was the nature of your relationship?

And then my mug shot would be on the news that evening. Something about lesbian larceny (they like those types of news items – they rhyme, the have sex and lesbians and they are weird. Forever more I would be known as a lesbian.

When all I ever wanted to be was her shovel buddy.