Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Princess Sheets and Compassion

I saw a video on YouTube today that inspired this post.

There was this little girl, recently, who was crying in her hospital bed. A nurse, hearing the sobs, entered the room to comfort her. This occurred on a cancer ward, and more often than not, nurses are called on to reassure, even when prognoses are dim.

Through small, clear tears, the little girl looked up, a plastic crown upon her head, her light brunette hair resembling a bird's nest.

"I want to be a princess," cries Sarah to the nurse.

"You are, sweetie, you are," answers the nurse, knowing that the little girl has terminal cancer.

"No," Sarah countered, "I am not. Look at my sheets. Just look at them. Plain white; these sheets are not princess sheets."

The nurse and Sarah talked for a while, and by the time the conversation was over, Sarah had forgotten about the white sheets.

But the nurse could not get Sarah's voice out of her mind. She wanted princess sheets, and the nurse knew Sarah's family could not afford them. They were on Medicaid, and this girl's days were numbered (a comfort gift by some would have been a luxury in a family who could not afford luxuries at this time). Her mother worked, and had to take care of three other children.

On the way home from work that night, the nurse stopped by a department store and bought some princess sheets. After Sarah was wheeled out of her room for a while the following day, the nurse replaced the sheets with the newly acquired princess sheets.

When Sarah came back, she beamed when she saw the princess sheets.

"I am a princess," she kept repeating. "I am a princess." Her face lacked a warm glow, but there was joy in her eyes. The sheets allowed herself to be a princess.

The nurse never told the little girl, nor her mother about the sheets. They were a gift from her heart, to ease the girls last few weeks. Ten days later, the girl died in the same bed, among her princess sheets.

When you see ads to drum up support for donations, most of the children look healthy, perhaps sans hair, and smiling. They typically don't show children after chemotherapy, when they are weak and uncomfortable, teetering between life and death in hopes of killing the cancer that inhabits the body.

You know, years ago, I would give to Jerry's Kids and other organizations, wanting to fund research for a cure. Now, I am a bit more pragmatic. I give money for comfort, not research. So I don't give to Jerry; I give to my local children's hospital (it is a hospital within a hospital so I also give to the nearest freestanding children's hospital). Lots of people get transferred there when they are really sick. And each time I give, I wonder if some of the money will purchase princess sheets or whatever else a child needs in order to make their ordeal more bearable.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Not Being Gracious

After Christmas, I was going to post about a few presents I received, but well, I forgot and I did not want to put myself in a bad light. I can't think of anything to post about today (this blog contest has really sucked the energy out of me), so I thought I would write about a few presents and me not being as gracious as I could have been.

My mother-in-law gave me a really cute pink jogging suit, and you know, I hate her for it. Not that I would not have found something wrong with any of her gifts; hubbie tells me nothing she would have given me would be appreciated – he is right, of course, but he should not have said that because it makes him look like a mama's boy, and I secretly hate him for it.

Anyway, about the jogging suit. It is really cute and I may have bought it for myself, but since it came from her, all I can think of is, "Did my mother-in-law buy it to say that I have a big ass?" Not very gracious.

Actually, I was wearing it this weekend, and I was not jogging in it. I wear jogging clothes on the weekends, and I almost never wear them to work out. Weird, huh? I mean, I wear t-shirts and shorts to work out, and most of them were not purchased not to work out. They are clothes that are more worn-out. I mean, I wear my work-out clothes for an hour, perspire in them, and then they have to be washed. I don't want to do that to nice clothes.

Not that any of this is at all interesting.

I have decided not to be interesting for the next few weeks. With all of this "Battle of the Blogs" stuff, I think it would be better if my posts were weak. So this is day one for weak posts.

Blog Stuff
Shephard Alley did a new picture for this Battle of the Blogs, in hopes, no doubt of garnering favor with me and luring me away from my hubbie, or more importantly, obtaining favor with other voters. Of course he failed, but I am going to use his picture.
For those of you who don't know too much about HTML, here is the code:

<a href=""> <img src=""></a>

And a lot of people are confused about the format of this competition; probably because I thought most were more familiar with the NCAA basketball tournament. And you know, with the international crowd, I should have explained it better.

Basically this is a paired competition. Two blogs go head-to-head, but because we were a few blogs short of 64, I chose to give some blogs "byes", meaning they automatically advanced to the next round. Then two winner blogs will go head-to-head to the next round (you have 32 blogs at that point, 16 different voting opportunities).
That way, for people voting, they get to chose which blog, blog-by-blog, they like best. If we just listed all fifty-something blogs and gave everybody one vote, most would just vote for their "friends", or the best overall blog (according to subjective voters) may not be chosen.

Heck, who am I kidding? I just want people's blogs to be exposed. Were it me, I would be more interested in the following week (half as many blogs still competing). At sixteen, perhaps, I would be more interested, and then I would be more apt to visit each blog. Right now, to be honest, I would read descriptions and just visit the ones who sounded cool (or I liked the sample of their writing). But that's me. Perhaps other people are different.

The point is that there are lots of bloggers out there, and I would like them to get more readers. Personally, I want to pick up a few more blogs to replace several bloggers who stopped blogging recently.

And I want to lose my pink sweat suit. Darned mother-in-law.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Round 1: Battle of the Blogs

Okay, guys. Nominations have been closed for Battle of the Blogs. When I had this idea, or I should have said "stole this idea," I figured I would have 16 entrants (I think there were 57). That was my hope, at least. I just asked my blogroll and those who competed in an Internet competition. That's it. And the funny thing is that there were relatively few who were nominated from those blogs.

The rules:
1. Vote for one of the two blogs in each bracket. Choose the better blog, your favorite blog, or your friend's blog. Makes no difference to me. You can only vote once, and once your vote is cast, you cannot "change votes." I have no idea what to do if there is a tie. You can vote for one pairing or all of them. I would hope that you would not be how I was when I was a younger voter – I would vote for a bunch of candidates just because I could. I say this is the test mentality – don't leave any "answers" blank. I would prefer you not randomly vote but cannot prevent anyone from doing so.

2. The winners of each game will enter the second round, similar to the NCAA Basketball Tournament format.

3. You can blog about why you should win, ask others to do so, whatever. For those who would like, there is some code below that point to the different brackets.

Eastern Bracket
<a href="">Eastern Bracket</a>

Western Bracket
<a href="">Western Bracket</a>

Northern Bracket
<a href="">Northern Bracket</a>

Southern Bracket
<a href="">Southern Bracket</a>

I wanted to include more code, but frankly, with all of the other stuff I have done for this competition, I was just too tired.

4. If I have made any errors on your blog description, send email to bloggerbattle(at) or respond to this message and I will fix this ASAP.
5. I have come up with a preliminary picture for this contest. Sorry, I am a words person, not an artist. And if someone else would want to create something, I would be very appreciative.

Update: Shephard Alley did a new picture for this Battle of the Blogs, in hopes, no doubt of garnering favor with me and luring me away from my hubbie, or more importantly, obtaining favor with other voters. Of course he failed, but I am going to use his picture. Thanks!

6. I have not included any blogs that are of an adult nature. Many drop the F-bomb, but none would be considered an adult site. Similarly, I did not include any commercial sites (sites that primarily sell things). Actually, someone with what appeared to be a very professionally-done adult site wrote me a very kind note.

A couple of thoughts:

1. I randomly made the brackets. That being said, I had to adjust a bit (two byes were in the same game, thus a "bye" would have made it into round two. Other than that, I let fate decide the pairings. I know some of the pairings may be a bit unfair, but I did not do this on purpose. If you have ever watched the NCAA tournament, sometimes the selection committee pits two really good teams in round one, so in a way, this randomness is okay.

2. This is a competition but the intent is for you to be exposed to new blogs. I know my circle of blogging buddies is fairly small (see my blogroll). And bloggers quit all the time, and I have not replaced anyone in a while. Hopefully I will find a new gem or two. I suggest you do the same.

3. There are no prizes for this – just a momentary increase in traffic to your blog, I suppose.

4. I am placing this on my blog quickly, so if I have made anything unclear, let me know. This is a lot more work that I suspected. And I may update this post with things I forgot.

Good luck to all of the competitors!

Round 1: Eastern Bracket

Eastern Conference Game 1
An Audience of One
I am a middle school administrator enrolled in a doctoral program and a father of two. My blog is mostly dedicated to issues involving raising children, public schools/education, relationships/love, and culture. I write from the point of view of a twice divorced single parent who is passionate about his kids, his work, and his life. My blog is also a journal of my personal journey, failures, and triumphs.

Bock the Robber
Bock is a disgrace to all decent bloggers everywhere. When he isn't ranting about crooks, he's laughing at fools, though Bock himself is both a crook and a fool, which can be a problem. His language is appalling. He has no respect for authority and no regard for people's feelings. He detests politicians and priests. You wouldn't want your mother to read Bock the Robber.

Eastern Conference Game 2
That's So Pants
My blog is subtitled 'What is wrong with everyone?'. That's so pants is a polite English way of saying 'that sucks'. It would probably more accurately translate as 'that's ever so slightly sucky'. It's a snide poke at politicians, industrial emperors, environmental vandals, celebrities and twats in general. I write about my frequently surreal spats with the rest of the world, ranging from the ubiquitous anonymous call centre drones that feature in every aspect of day to day administration to irritable Argun the stationer whom I have to boldly confront every time I need a new 2B pencil.

Bye in Round 1

Eastern Conference Game 3
Anecdotal Evidence Life Exists On Planet Earth
A humorous blog that recounts the often slap-sticky travels (and travails) of Scott from Oregon, from Aboriginal beer thefts to his Mum's vagina. AELEOPE is full of warmth and self deprecating humor and contains a wonderful trove of life's silly occurences. AELEOPE not only amuses you with Scott's "tales of woohoohoo", it asks you to offer up some of your own . With an archive full of goofy tales and a mind full of way too many more, this blog is as essential as the Sunday Morning Comics, (and way more worldly). It's like a fire-ring story-swap with beer and mosquitoes. Check it out.

Driffling Witt
No description sent.

Eastern Conference Game 4
Shephard's Alley
You round the corner and turn down an alleyway you've never seen before.
Admist the red brick and lamplight, you read of adventures in Southern California and beyond, as the alley's resident writer shares thoughtful perspectives, uplifting reminders and humor (and often photos of the quirky and lovable alley-cats). Graffiti is encouraged.

Random Thoughts from NYC
Last minute entry; no description yet.

Eastern Conference Game 5
The Hitch
I am a far right of centre political commentator. I despise "Greens," illegal immigrants, most politicians and rather than "hug a hoody" Id much prefer to birch them in public.

The Yellow Duck Pond
Lighthearted musings from a migrant duck resident somewhere in Central Europe on all things that take his fancy: some culture, some politics, some philosophy and some photography. The Pond is an open and friendly place with lots of quacking and banter thanks to a lovely band of regular commenters and there is always room for one more.

Eastern Conference Game 6
Shadowscope is a daily journey of whatever is floating around my sick little mind at the time. Posting several times a day I offer completely useless drivel interrupted occasionally by something poignant and witty, just not too often. Wouldn't want to fool anyone. Shadowscope is not generally considered safe for work, as I tend to drop the "F" bomb quite a bit, and there is no telling what you might find in the pictures.

Scaramouche Jones
A place for my take on items that catch my eye, my opinions on anything that crosses my mind, and my interpretation of topics suggested to me by my readers for discussion.

Eastern Conference Game 7
Ah, Yes, Medical School
Join me as I half-ass my way through medical school, encountering all sorts of freaks (patients, classmates, myself, etc.) along the way.

Bye in Round 1

Eastern Conference Game 8
Heidi Flash
The random musings of a 50 something year old woman just hitting her stride.

In Search of Adam
My /In Search of Adam/ blog started in August 2006 and the posts were
about how to approach literary agents with a finished manuscript. Three
weeks later, a publisher stumbled on my blog and requested the
manuscript. I was offered a publishing deal. The blog has since
developed to combine my journey from unpublished to published, along
with the hassles and tassels of my life. It is largely tongue in cheek,
with a few fancy fonts and melancholic moments thrown in.

Round 1: Western Bracket

Western Conference Game 1
The Wind Shall Hear My Words
I've always enjoyed writing poetry. On my main-page blogs, I've always included poetry, but never gave the poems their own place. With this blog, I wanted to write "new" poems, and give them their own space. Some of what will appear, as poetry, are very personal glimpses into my mind & life...others, are inspired by what I read, or see in the culture, or the daily new. All, are (I hope) a poetic response to the world within, and the world outside. With Pictures (sometimes), and artwork...or not, this is a spot for those who have an interest in poerty~~so little, discussed these days~~and, would like to read what I have to offer. I usually write a poem a week.

It's a Dog's Life
I am a Labrador-Collie-Cross in Norfolk , England, and my blog is called "It's a Dog's Life". There are other blogs around featuring dogs but mine is different because I do actually write it all myself.I hope it gives all you bipeds out there a dog's-eye view of the world from a wise and attractive canine! My little brother is Oz, a Tibetan Terrier, and I live with grumpy old Mr P. and the lovely Mrs Rine. I'm currently trying to get my petition for better dog food onto Mr Blair's Downing Street Web site but I think he thinks I'm barking.

Western Conference Game 2
Peace of My Mind
I live in Montana surrounded by beautiful wildlife and scenery. When I'm not greeting deer or fighting off bear, I take care of three horses, one dog and a few cats.
With a traveling husband and living under Leesa's Law, you will find that if it's going to happen, it will happen to me. With a passion for photography, I try to share all of this with you.

Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper
I have a girl, Virginia, who is six and a boy, Devon, who is thirteen and baby Harmony is fresh outta the oven. I'm married to Chris. This is not a mommy blog. My kids aren't perfect & I cuss a lot. I think that disqualifies me from the mommy blog club.

Western Conference Game 3
Random thoughts of a forty-something lesbian living the happily ever after, white picket fence life.

Bye in Round 1

Western Conference Game 4
An Inside Look
This is a small glimpse into the drama that makes my life interesting and so worth the ride! I make no apologies for what you'll find here. It's me...all of it. Good, bad,'s me.

Reading the Signs
It’s a blog about how it is to be a writer and creative when you live with a bastard illness like M.E. which is against all things creative, and about process and poetry, which is stronger than the bastard. It is also about a dark and complicated relationship with chocolate and the house who is human and sings. I am a time-rich, single-tasking space-gazer who does not juggle her life and has time to look out of windows.

Western Conference Game 5
Omniscience Inc.
The musings of an Omniscient Entity trapped inside a regular run-of-the-mill chauvinistic pig. The ramblings presented here are a collection of fairly recent thoughts of their collective intellects. Fairly recent because the pig had decided to delete the earlier blog, facing claims of him getting off exclusively to his religion bashing. As they struggle to gain control of the keyboard, both these entities would like to apologize any cheekiness or unpardonable parts of concentration of brutal psychoanalysis, respectively. Furthermore, judging by the lack of self-importance implied in these words, the Omniscient entity would like to make it explicitly clear, you may not approach him for Weather or Stock-market or Derby forecasts.

And From These Ashes
This is a last-minute submission; still waiting for a description.

Western Conference Game 6
Where the Bees Are
my blog is about how retarded my kids and husband are. Its not a mommy blog, cuz I use swear words, good mommies dont swear.My blog is a fun place to drop by if u need a hoot, I am a comedy writer to begin with, so it comes natrally. I seldom spell anything right, and I am to lazy for spell check some days...That about sums it up..good night and thank you for coming.

Bye in Round 1

Western Conference Game 7
The Kept Woman
The Kept Woman was started as a place where I could use poor grammar and swear guiltlessly since my very first site was dedicated to how cute and clever my children were and had to be family-friendly. I talk mainly about life experiences and how I frequently screw things up. I find it extremely frustating to live in Suburbia where everyone is perfect, goes to church and shops at Pottery Barn. I burn and break a lot of things, have a down payment on a condo in hell from doing naughty things and get great satisfaction out of knocking off the Pottery Barn look without paying their outrageous prices. This is my place where I can be me, swear and freely threaten to sell my children without my neighbors calling Child Protective Services on me.

Razor Blade of Life
I started a blog on a whim, never having kept a journal of any kind before, with no preconceptions as to what I would write about. I have found that I prefer to write spontaneously, mostly about daily life because I take pleasure in the behaviour of the people around me, sometimes about social issues when I usually plead for cheerful tolerance, particularly of young people who, I think, receive a rougher deal than I ever did and occasionally about my family history – nothing I’ve researched; tales from my parents’ and grandparents’ lives. I particularly enjoy the comments I receive, especially when I’ve been particularly opinionated and someone quizzes me hard and makes me justify my case, or when I am teased, which happens frequently. I don’t set out to be funny but I do turn to the brighter side of life.

Western Conference Game 8
velo-gubbed legs
My name is NMJ, my blog is velo-gubbed legs, it's about anxiety & love & writing & life with ME/CFS. I hate self-pity and have a sense of absurdity about most things.

Confessions of a Psychotherapist
The problem is I spend a lot of my day listening. And asking questions. And sometimes offering observation or interpretation, but never saying “Hell, you should dump him – he sounds like a real tosser to me.” So one night this blog was born, written by my unreasonable twin who has an opinion on most everything, who likes to rant and rave about trivialities and who generally says and feels things that therapists are supposed to process internally. Occasionally, I get a look in and write about politics, psychotherapy, the politics of psychotherapy and even the psychotherapy of politics. But mostly it contains the thoughts and musings of my unreasonable twin as she accompanies me on my daily business. Oh, and my melancholic twin, too, although that makes triplets and rather spoils the metaphor, doesn’t it? So this blog is an expression of the various ramblings of my multiple selves….and I promise you I really am quite sane.

Round 1: Northern Bracket

Northern Conference Game 1
The Dutch Files
DutchyFul * DutchyLicious * DutchyMazing * DutchyBitchious
The personal diary of the DutchBitch, a 37 year old, single full time working chick and Mom of The Kid (9 years old) whose signature footwear are the red latex thigh high stiletto heeled boots. Polluting the airways of the blogosphere with anything and everything that occupies her mind, from internet dating, to NyQuil, to pimping up her bathroom, to fucktards, to parenting, to being the greatest management-assistant ever recorded, to PFKAF (people formerly known as friends), to snale porn, to life in Dutchyland, to ... everyday bitching! Leave your brains at the door and hear me roar!

Bye in Round 1

Northern Conference Game 2
My Reality, My Check, My Bounce
There's nothing more heart stopping than watching your reality check bounce. A numbing sensation followed by denial is common. Sometimes you need a co-sign on that check to prevent the bounce. The reality is I'm in denial and these are my medicated mumblings.

Writing Away on a Cedar Key
Musings on the writing life and relocating to a small island off the west coast of Florida.

Northern Conference Game 3
Baroque in Hackney
Baroque in Hackney ("hilarious and erudite and stylish and humane") is a blog on poetry, culture, current events and the madcap daily life of its author, a struggling poet, critic, copywriter, editor and housemaid to the gods (at least they think they're gods).

Quilly's Quips
I believe in approaching life with humor. I mean, there's no point in taking it too seriously, it's not like we're going to get out alive. So step inside and prepare to laugh...

Northern Conference Game 4
Memphis Steve
Steve lives in Memphis. And he's not happy about it. Neither is his wife, who constantly reminds him that he is the one who brought them there and thus he should be the one who gets them out. Daily blogs from Mr Memphis Steve involve really stupid drivers and their cell phones and/or SUVs, battles with fat "all about me" women in parking lots and shopping centers, chocolate politics and the ever-busy FBI, drug dealer neighbors, and a lot of ranting about the world in general. If you like sunshine and daisies then Nude Memphis will probably piss on your garden, but if you like to laugh at other people's miserable lives then this is the blog for you.

Sell Your Girlfriend
This is a last-minute submission; still waiting for a description.

Northern Conference Game 5
The Peanut Queen
Dubbed "Queen of the Peanut Gallery" at work, I share with my loyal subjects life as I know it...both whilst I toil away at work and the chaos that sometimes ensues at The Peanut Palace. I reside with The Peanut King, three furry royal brats and one short little chain-smoking Peanut Mother. You never know what kind of crap us royalty will get into next....there's always something going on."

Arse End of Ireland
No description to date.

Northern Conference Game 6
Timeless Boulevard
Let me take you to a journey... Free the mind... Free the heart... Free the soul... For there is this place... One you have never even imagined... Live the journey. This is basically a photoblog site. Mostly I treat as abstract photographs. Like a painting, I live it up to the "reader"/"viewer" how the blog of the day speaks to him/her. Sometimes, I may include more words than usual. This blog is about life and living life to the fullest, just like a good journey.

Kevin, MD: Medical Weblog
No description sent yet.

Northern Conference Game 7
Lightning Bugg's Butt
Flashes of insight from the Everyman. Daily observational posts. Part comedy, part philosophy, part temper tantrum, Lightning Bug's Butt is always good for a laugh and/or a place to send your hate mail. Thanks for visiting. All rights reserved. Comments welcome.

The Word Of Zhisou
The random meanderings of someone who doesn't have enough time to blog properly.
Haphazard commentry on books, music and movies as well as a shambolic approach to daily life and the challenges of ex-pat life in Spain. Sometimes ill-informed political comment, sometimes witterings about science or tennis or other things that may or may not pop into the mind of the author. Oh, and no widgets.

Northern Conference Game 8
Kat's Random Thoughts
The daily posts of a middle aged woman documenting life as she struggles through the last year of her day job, the first year of her publishing company, the trials of getting her book published around five kids, two cats and a dog. Sometimes its funny, sometimes its sad, mostly its random.

The Further Adventures of Blogger Girl
Good Heavens, it's difficult to write something brilliant that will entice the blogging world to fall at my feet or, you know, even stop by The Further Adventures of Blogger Girl. What can I say? Normal girl, normal blog. Well mostly. My blog follows the minutia and minor adventures of me, BethanyC, a 30-something accidental librarian. In the course of things I take an insane number of photos and a few of these find their way to my small little corner of the blogosphere. If you stop by, you'll find a diverse tangle of thoughts and anecdotes that are in turn serious, silly, or painfully mundane.

Round 1: Southern Bracket

Southern Conference Game 1
By whatever name you call the Supreme Being --Jehovah, Allah, Goddess, the Divine Spark-- iGoddess is the state of being when the Divine Wow within connects with your inner Funk. It's about taking that swig of mystical habanero juice that clears out the mystical sinuses. It's about playing poker with the Gambler With A Soul and losing everything, so you can then be blessed with everything. It's about a good, hard poke in the third eye. The Universe is secretly conspiring to shower you with blessings, and I'm just doing my part to let people know where to find the party. A little humor, a little real life, and a lot of funk.

Once in a Lifetime
No description to date.

Southern Conference Game 2
Miss Britt
It's been said that I am a woman who can use the word f*ck in a sentence and make it sound like art. My blog is a masterpiece. ;-) I'm just a woman with a job, family, sense of humor, opinion on everything - and no life.

Random and Odd
No description sent.

Southern Conference Game 3
Party Vikings
Party Vikings was originally started to promote my fledgling acting/comedy career. Since it apparently takes hundreds of years to get that kind of career started, the blog became a place to vent my frustration at the daily setbacks of the struggling actor with the struggling day jobs. The stories are true and meant to be comedic because if I can't get on a stage and tell 'em, at least I can put them here for anyone to read and get a chuckle.

Bye in Round 1

Southern Conference Game 4
Another cup of coffee and I may get something done
Um...daily ramblings of a 30-something disorganized crazy minivan-driving coffee-addicted, technically-challenged, artist-wannabe holey-sock mending mom.

Straight White Guy
Nothing sent to date about his blog.

Southern Conference Game 5
An Editorial of Life
I am a twenty-something, new mother to an exuberant daughter, Maizie, and happily married to Joe. We live in rural Wisconsin in our new home that is more work than its worth. I work semi-part-time in government administration (licking stamps and collating); a gigantic step-down after five ambitious years in sales and marketing management. My hobbies include showering, going to the bathroom alone with the door shut and sleeping more than eight hours. No really, I enjoy the basics; tasty food, cheap wine, a book to escape and something inspiring to listen to.

Bye in Round 1

Southern Conference Game 6
Lost Hear and Beyond
This Blog is a diary of my past, the soapbox of my present and my thoughts about the future. It’s about my journey from the streets to where I am now with all the fun that happened in the middle. I believe in saying it, as it is, raw to the point and in a language everyone can understand.

Past Imperfect
I am Pat ; grand mother but still a girl at heart. Married to MTL(my true love)after a separation of 30 years. Had three careers: trained paediatric nurse, National photographic model and business woman. Now settled in SW and enjoying our five children and ten grandchildren and making the most of what time we have left.

Southern Conference Game 7
Amy's Musings
The blog of a 30-something woman who is trying to evolve into some kind of unattainable perfection. Until that moment of enlightenment I’m sarcastic, opinionated, reserve the right to use foul language profusely when necessary, and usually always have something to say no matter how completely asinine it might be.

These Walls Have Ears
No description sent yet.

Southern Conference Game 8
Random Ramblings
The musings of a wandering soul. A writer, a poet, a free mind. Questions every alive and aware mind asks, but only the innocent child can answer. And its the innocence that speaks out here. No consciousness of stares and glares, and no botherations with etiquette. I am who I am, and I write what I am.

Shelli's Sentiments
My blog is about my life experience as I interpret it. Sometimes it is funny and sometimes it is sad. I talk about my children, my husband, my friends and my granddaughter. I also write about things that I observe happening to me, my family or just life around the world. Most of the time, I am non-confrontational, but I have been known to throw in a rant or two here and there. I love writing and that is what drives this blog.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Random Friday Again

Year of the Golden Pig
I posted the following response to a video talking about the Year of the Pig: "Did you mention the Golden Pig! (once every 60 years, right?)" Someone replied: "Golden pig year is fake! Invented to sell more baby products (folks have more kids in years they think are lucky). Refer to any learned person in Chinese/Vietnamese astrology."

I replied, thanking the person for calling me an idiot. And then I re-read the message. Okay, Golden Pig is fake, but a "learned person in astrology", that is who we should be trusting. Sort of bizarre.

On Monday, I was going to write about Florida loosing in basketball. The SEC is normally a football powerhouse, and you know Florida also won the national championship in basketball last year. Well, they lost to Vanderbilt, and I was going to write a story about how relatively the SEC is in basketball because Florida, an SEC team, lost to Vanderbilt. Well, to do a little bit of research (a rarity for me), I googled Vanderbilt, and you know, they are also an SEC team. Who would have known? So with my premise shot, I could not write the Florida post.

I am in the minority in Georgia. I root for Georgia Tech. Okay, the fight song has engineer in it (I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech, and a hell of an Engineer. A Helluva, helluva, helluva, helluva, helluva Engineer ), and even I know, if you have engineer in the song, people will make fun of you. I don't really keep up with the Georgia Bulldogs, though the bulldog is actually bred in Savannah. So I don't follow the SEC – other than what co-workers force down my throat.

U.S. Energy Policy Act of 2005
You probably don't know exactly what this is, but the U.S. Energy Policy Act of 2005, signed by President Bush in August 2005, extended Daylight Saving Time (DST) in the U.S. As a result, beginning this spring, the new DST period will be four weeks longer than previously observed. Here is what I don't understand: why change Daylight Savings Time? Now we have this Microsoft patch, a couple of them, because this change sort of screwed up both the Microsoft OS and MS Outlook. I am assuming other programs had to be patched as well. So all of this energy we are saving we are probably spending to accommodate this. And if we want to save more energy, make people work at night and sleep in the day (DST to the extreme). But what is the point in that? Sometimes saving a few bucks on energy is not worth the inconvenience.

Featured Video Pulled
The following video "Lezberado: L Word S" posted from CBS was removed because of terms of use violations. How can a featured video (one that YouTube promotes) get removed because of "terms of use violations" (again, decided on by YouTube)? My screenshot is here (I am such a geek).

Posting Comments
Over the last few days, I have posted more comments on other blogs than I thought I could post. Oh, and I felt dirty about leaving so many messages pimping this thing. I actually spammed my blogroll (I spam those I love to read). As well as those who were part of that other competition I discussed recently. Just think "pink that hurts" and you probably will remember the site if you voted. No, I did not win.

Anyway, I have been exposed to so many different ways of leaving comments (none of them involved peeing in a small cup, but if one did, it would not have surprised me. The worst was Journalspace. It took forever to get to the comments (slow load) and forever to post. Now the blogger may have hacked some code, so I don't want to besmirch the name of the site. Now I sort of know why I read many more blogs than I comment on. Yuck on comments.

Diet Dr. Pepper
I need a Diet Dr. Pepper right now. I feel like a junkie. I hate wanting one, but I do. Do you think I will get the shakes? And they have these drug dispensing machines in schools, in malls and in offices. Part of me wants to add a label called, "Diet Dr. Pepper," but unfortunately I think all of my posts may be labeled with this tag.

Battle of the Blogs
Looks like I will have enough blogs to make this a reality. Thanks for all that have helped. Problem is, this is looking like a little more work than I first thought. I want to get this posted Monday, but we will see (Tuesday is probably better).

YouTube Feet
Thursday, I was working and watching YouTube. Hey, I am a multi-tasker. Well, I was watching this one video when a co-worker came by. Well, she is a smart-ass, and has since made loads of jokes about me having a foot fetish. I started to tell her that I subscribed to this person, but thought better of it. All I could think is that she would think this person makes foot videos, and I am sure glad I did not say she was 16. Maybe she is 17; I can't remember. Some high school girl. She did that football official video I wrote and had posted a while back. I have not been as embarrassed at looking at things online as when I happened upon ~Deb's site and she was talking about breast exams and had some woman touching her breast (one of those moving GIFs, as I recall). I am the office perv, I am afraid.

Memphis Steve Meme
Someone who I now dislike wrote: "OK, I've tagged you with a meme: 6 things about you that are weird, and a seventh that is a total fake. You put them in any order and then challenge your readers to find the fake."

My answers:
1. I think Wayne's World may be the most underrated intellectual video ever produced. I privately called myself Cassandra for a month.
2. I have never dyed my hair.
3. We have one television in the house and we don't turn it on every day.
4. I hate memes. I secretly hope those who perpetuate memes on me will have diarrhea and sit on the potty, eventually having someone take a picture of them on it.
5. I have never tried nor have wanted to try pot. And when I was in college, I lied about it, once saying I was allergic to the smoke (I am not sure my friends bought it).
6. I voted three times for American Idol and I am over thirty.
7. Cats scare me.

Diet Dr. Pepper Part II
Last night, I asked God if I could trade Lent sacrifices from not consuming Diet Dr. Pepper, so something so much easier, like (1) not having sex, (2) not eating desert, (3) not making fun of my boss, and (4) not eating chocolate. God laughed at me. Well, it was my hubbie, but because I am now hallucinating, his maniacal laugh sounded like a vengeful God (see the Old Testament).

Friday YouTube Gem #8: Katie's Opinion, faintstarlite and IveGotaTheory

YouTube Star: Katie's Opinion
This is one person I subscribe to for the intro. I love the music and the clapping and the "hey-ing". And the drawing moving drawings. It is really nice. Her voice may grate on you if you don't like the New Jersey voice1. Now, I will admit it, I don't know the difference between New York, New Jersey or any of those other states north of the Carolinas. Sorry, ~Deb. I am a southern gal.

Anyway, Katie Sah actually has a lot of people helping her (the Big Wheel Gang).

And I don't like her describing guys as her little penises most of the time. But after a few days with no Diet Dr. Pepper, I am beginning to buy into Katie's opinion of men. Especially after I see one drinking soda.

YouTube Non-Star: faintstarlite

I am not a subscriber to faintstarlite, but I have watched several of her videos. She is a sweetie, and she has about 500 people subscribed to her (so I am not sure she is a non-star). I don't know when you change from non-star to star. I just don't have a clue.

Anyway, she also has been on Weight Watchers, and she has lost about fifty pounds. Wow, what an accomplishment. My weight goal has been twenty, and I am half-way there. I can't imagine 50.

YouTube Non-Star Extra: IveGotaTheory

IveGotaTheory is an account shared by two high school girls. I saw Betty Homemaker first, and it reminded me of Leave it to Beaver. It was a cute video, and I enjoyed it, so I subscribed. They had 15 subscribers (myself included), last week. That number is up to 17 now, which is actually very low. If you have a YouTube account, subscribe. They don't post often, and the videos are cute. Sorry guys, no scantily clad women on their videos. Actually, they sort of remind me of me when I was growing up; that's why I like them. Though I didn't have a video camera or editing talent. Remember when you would put on shows for family? This has the same feeling. Oh, and their Mini Trailer is a mere 21 seconds and it is blog-inspiring. It gave me an idea for a post.

1Turns out, the chick is from Philly, not New Jersey. Now only if I knew the difference. Perhaps PittChick could tell me. Kidding.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Day 2

Today is Day 2. Not that it matters. Life seems to be shades of grey for me right now. Funny how 20 ounces of Diet Dr. Pepper in the morning can make everything seem better. What is worse is that now, if the devil popped into my office this morning, I am fairly sure I would sell my soul for a $1.19 Diet Dr. Pepper. I am not proud of this fact; I am simply stating it.This is the sweetest drink to touch my lips!

Now before some Christian tells me that this is the point of Lent – that we are supposed to feel, in some small part, Christ's sacrifices, I want to point out that I have not had Diet Dr. Pepper in two days, people.

You know, if someone (for example, the love of my life, my hubbie) told me that he had a Diet Dr. Pepper and would not give it to me for my own good, I think I may be able to rip his heart out of his chest cavity. And I am not a violent person, really.

Is it sinful to think lustfully about a beverage? I just hope I don't have any dreams about me, a dew-covered Diet Dr. Pepper and strange sexual positions. I was going to google fetishes to see if others share my strange thoughts, but then I thought this may be too tempting for me to resist. I just have to resist this.

And, one would think with this caffeine out of my system, my brain would function more normally. And if you believed this, you would be wrong. I am continually scatter-brained. Completely. And when I close my eyes and try to gather my thoughts, I dream of Diet Dr. Pepper.

Not only am I a mess physically, emotionally and mentally, but financially, I am going to be missing out. There is currently a game to find some sort of treasure. Had I more brain function, I could tell you more about this game. Let's just say all I can remember is drink Diet Dr. Pepper, then entering the 12-digit code from the bottle top into a website. I vaguely remember getting clues. And I have no idea what prizes they are offering. I have to have some empties around here somewhere. Is it wrong to go through my trashcan to look for them? I could uncap them and smell the sweet nectar that is Diet Dr. Pepper.

Where was I? I really don't know. My only hope is that some demonic creature will offer me a Diet Dr. Pepper for what is left of my shriveled soul.

And the saddest thing is that I thought of this post last night – though I was going to use it for Monday (which to me will be known as Day 6). And I was not sure I would ever make Day 6. If you think you might want to experience this type of religion, cross over to becoming Catholic. Perhaps they will use this post as a new ad campaign. I could trade it to them for a Diet Dr. Pepper.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Open Letter to Scriggity

Apologies in Advance: I have given up Diet Dr. Pepper for Lent, and well, chances are I am going to turn into a real bitch for the next 40 days. There are few things I truly love, and my morning 20 ounces of liquid joy is one of those things. I drink, on average 3 of these drinks per day, and truth-be-told, giving up sex would only be slightly more difficult. With sex, I would not be missing out every day. And for those who don't really know what Lent is about, Lent is about sacrificing so that you remember that Jesus sacrificed (not to empathize, because let's face it, we are talking about Jesus). Anyway, I have already given away my Diet Dr. Pepper stash. I am already slightly annoyed, and I wonder how this makes me a better person.

Anyway, on with the post.

I recently posted about Get Scriggity, and Drew, "the other guy", wrote me, thanking me for the love. And he suggested I send him a note. What follows is what I sent.

Dear Scriggity,

This is not a new news item, but it is a piece of news of a couple of years ago. It is, however, some news that happened around this time of the year so it is seasonal, if not fresh news.

A few years ago, I worked for the "Girl Scouts." And for Girl Scouts, February is Cookie Time. And in Savannah, GA, Cookie Time is nearly a national holiday. The Girl Scouts were founded in Savannah, so Cookie Time is big.

And here is a secret: Girl Scouts make a lot of money selling cookies. Here is where we tell little girls to look cute and sell cookies for money. We call it character building.

Anyway, the local council purchased too many cookies from the cookie making company. And since Girl Scout cookies cannot be returned, we had to figure out how to sell all of the leftovers.

The little girls couldn't sell anymore – they have already sold what they needed to get their prizes and their parents had already alienated their co-workers and friends. So we were in a bind.

Here is what we did: we decided to sell Girl Scout cookies at the St. Patrick's Day parade. Sounds like a good idea, right? I mean, Savannah has the second-largest St. Patrick's' Day parade (Boston is number one), and there are lots of people who might be hungry. But we can't ask girls to sell cookies because there will be drinking in the streets, so we, the adult leaders, plan to put on our adult Girl Scout outfits and sell cookies that day, thus solving our financial problems.

One opportunity we saw was that many of the customers would be drunk, thus allowing us to sell more cookies. Never did we see this as a problem in our planning phase. We, of course, were idiots.

Regular Girl Scout outfits and adult Girl Scout outfits probably look really similar to most people; the adults don't wear patches and there are other little things that will make me sound really square if I go on about this, so I won't. So we sort of look like shapely Girl Scouts.

Drunken men probably saw us as Girl Scouts that they could sexually harass and pinch. I don't know how often I heard, "Come here Girl Scout. I want to taste me some Girl Scout cookies." They would emphasize the Girl Scout and barely whisper cookies. I was called a "cookie whore", a "sugar slut", and a few things that would make even Drew blush. All of this abuse and the cover charge was buying a three dollar box of cookies.

Yeah, we sold all of the cookies, but at the price of my dignity. We purchased fewer cookies the following year, and although people complained when we ran out, I didn't care. At least my butt did not get pinched.

Love your videos! Stay cool Shauna.

Ex-Girl Scout,

I just saw a video for Battle of the YouTube Non-Stars that was so funny. If you waste work time on YouTube, vote HughsNews. I am sure there is a link from the video.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Of Shaved Body Parts and Mardi Gras

The other day, I heard that Britney Spears shaved a body part. If no one told you which body part, what would you have guessed? Okay, if you knew it was a body part and it was photographed and was all over the Internet, would your guess have changed? And if she shaved it and was getting a tattoo in the general vicinity of the shaved area, would your guess have changed? And if the tattoo artist said it was a cute tattoo, would your guess have changed? Probably not. If we polled people before the news got out, most would not have said that she shaved her head. Sad.

I know Ian blogged about this the other day, and I am not trying to steal his thunder. I would not want to do it. But lots of people blogged about this on Monday. It seemed to be the thing to blog about.

Today is Mardi Gras, or as I call it, Fat Tuesday. Now, I don't know much about Mardi Gras, but when has that stopped me from passing along my misinformation?

Mardi Gras was founded in the 1960s, when certain vendors in New Orleans had an abundance of doubloons, king cakes, Hurricane glasses and ceramic masks. The city council was charged with taking bribes from local merchants, and making laws to benefit said merchants. That is no different than most municipalities, though New Orleans' corruption is a bit more transparent.

Anyway the city council voted to establish a day so the merchants could sell all of their crap. The mayor threatened to veto the measure, until the council members added a rider to the bill, adding beads in the list of crap to sell, and recommending that women would have to show their breasts in public to secure these little plastic beads. Since all of the requiescat information was in the bill, it passed unanimously. Sadly, again, this is also how many legislatures act.

In future years, flower sellers lobbied (bribed) for there to be flower-covered floats. Then prostitutes wanted sex on the street, and you can imagine what else was added in other years. Notice how my posts tend to write themselves?

So, dear friends, now you know the rest of the story. And all I have to think now is what to give up for lent.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Come Play with Me

About once per month, I go out to eat by myself at a fast food restaurant. It is on the weekend, and I bring a book. Not that there is anything bizarre about that. I love the way I feel when I am engrossed in a book in public. It is quite a nice feeling.

My indulgence is that I go to Micky-D's. Yes, McDonalds. And a high class McDonalds at that. This one has Diet Dr. Pepper as a selection for a fountain drink. Anyway, I get a Kid's Meal (I really don't like more than a little of the food, except for their French fries, and let's face it, my ass does not need anymore "firming up with said French fries." You know, I don't know why people get pissed when an adult gets a Kid's Meal. McDonald's gets their money and I get a smaller portion of fat. A win-win situation.

So I go to McDonald's, and I am not really into reading the book (make note: take back-up book next time), so I go to the kid's play area. Heck, I have my Happy Meal, but I am not going to kick off my shoes and crawl through those germ-infested plastic caves. I will, however, watch children do so.

Anyway, I love people-watching, and absolutely love children-watching. I was watching this little girl; she was so charismatic. She had on khaki pants and a green shirt, and her hair was in a pseudo-ponytail. Strands of hair were all around her face, and she had the most infectious smile. Her little brunette head was bopping here and there, and then she went right up to a little boy, probably about 5 and said "Come play with me." Now I don't know too much about 5-year-olds, but I do know most have started thinking that girls have cooties. She was maybe four years old, and she just wanted to play.

She came up to the boy again and said, "Come play with me." It was both a request and a command at the same time, and the little shy boy started playing with the girl. She would chase him, and then he would chase her, her infectious laughter lighting up the entire place.

I had placed my book down and watched for perhaps 20 minutes when I finally pulled myself away from the joyous site. Later, I revised the moments in my mind. I do that quite a lot.

My little "Battle of the Bloggers" contest that I thought of a couple of weeks ago and posted last week seems to not be going particularly well. I posted it with trepidation because I used to be the little girl that would say, "Come play with me." Now that I have been an adult for so many years, that little girl is just a memory, and certain disappointments have shaped me. I guess my reaction to them have really shaped me. I don't take too many chances anymore. The "Battle of the Bloggers" is a chance, I suppose, but there are others in my life. Guess I am asking people to play even though for most of us, myself included, this is just a diversion from our adult lives.

Oh, to be four again, with strands of hair encircling your face, laughing like some small joyous angel in the local McDonalds.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Friday YouTube Gem #7: Get Scriggity and Every Friday

YouTube Star: Get Scriggity
Getscriggity is a really funny VLOG. The host is 20-year-old Shauna (Happy belated B-day, Shauna! Her birthday was on February 7th), and "the other guy" is Drew. Now, I normally am not bothered by piercings, but she has a lip piercing that it took me a while to get used to. It looks like some angler got her with an arrant cast, but, guys, she is hot, so if this bothers you, my guess is that you will overlook it.

The best part is the dialog. Basically, their tagline says it all: "Your news. Our spin." They ask you to send in news, and they read it, full of their own opinions. The stories are sort of funny, but their comments and the editing make it an experience.

They normally post on Wednesday, and I love Wednesday because of it. Really. I lead a sad, small life.

YouTube Non-Star: Every Friday
Every Friday, you would think, posts every Friday. Well, she doesn't. And her last post said she would post more often. I like her videos so I hope she does post more often.

I really like the post I've embedded. I love the music – no real words – tells a story of redecorating a room. Her videos are artistic, and she is gorgeous. She is not from the US; and judging from her going to vacation in Norway (snowboarding), I would say she is from Europe. I am guessing Sweden (sorry, guys, no bikini videos and I don't think she is part of Sweden's Bikini Team). The guys will love her because she is hot; the women will love her because she is hot. No, that is not really what I mean to type.

Randomness Ad Nauseum

You know Paxahonie Phil. That's not his name. Punxsutawney Phil. I actually had to Google it to get the name right, and luckily, we have a Punxsutawney Groundhog Club. I am guessing their meetings are not really a hoot in June through December. I mean, what do they do, take ol' Phil out for binge drinking in the metropolis. My thought is "What if someone kidnapped the rodent and held him for ransom?" Would they merely bring out an imposter? And then there would be Gobbler's Knob-gate. I wanted to stretch this out into a full-blown post. You know me, just add a bit about boobs and cold weather, and the rest writes itself. Crap. Now you know my secret.

Ad Nauseum
As I was thinking for a title for this post, I decided to go with Ad Nauseum. I figure it would spruce up the post, and then I thought, that sounds like the name of a heavy metal band. I bet there is a band by that name. But then they would have guitar riffs that would go on and on. They started out playing in the drummer's basement – and the drummer's mother actually came up with the name. The only reason they got to play in the drummer's basement was because his family wanted different types of noise coming through the floor. Or so I would guess.

I would not want a group to be called Ad Nauseum. I mean, if we have a group for groundhog groupies, we probably have a group for everything. And one of the groups would cherish just droning on and on. Sort of like this entry.

Search Engines
Every once in a while, I look at the search engines that point to my site. The one that caught my attention recently was the phrase: "hair braiding spots near orlando". Well, it turned up some blog entry I made, and I discussed Orlando Bloom. Nice. Another is not so nice. A few weeks ago, and it is still going on now, I get people typing in the phrase, "What to say when somebody dies." This leads the reader to my blog entry, "What Not To Say When Someone Dies." It contains much dark humor, and would not be of comfort to someone who wants to know what to say when somebody dies.

Naughty or Nice
I have come to the conclusion that men are nicer than they appear and women are naughtier than they first appear. Not sure this holds up to scientific scrutiny, but if it does, I want it to be called "Leesa's Razor." Sort of a nod to Ochman's Razor.

String Theory
Have you ever notice that when you bring string theory into a conversation, it sort of kills the conversation? I mean, odds are you are not having a conversation with someone who knows string theory, and if you just say something about the eleven dimensions, you automatically are given credibility. Just don't bring up shoestring theory. Or potato string theory. Do they even make potato strings anymore? I am not sure you can pack any more fat grams and calories into a food.

Old Bracelet
In my jewelry box, I have an old bracelet. It is "14 karat gold" but you know, the gold has been rubbed off over the years. I received it when I was a junior in high school. I really liked the boy, and he moved off to school. I think the bracelet was supposed to either keep me as a girlfriend through a long distance relationship (that didn't work) or have me remember him (that worked). He was not my first boyfriend, not my fondest memories. But because of that cheap bracelet, I remember him. And I have this priceless (worthless) piece of jewelry in my jewelry box.

Rod Stewart: Philosopher
Rod Stewart once said, "Show me a good looking woman and I will show you a man who is tired of fecking her". I have no idea what this means, but it sounds like some sort of philosophy. And Rod Stewart did not use the word, "fecking." I think he is from the Vidal Sassoon School of Philosophy. That man has great hair.

I think I am going to post my YouTube review at the end of the day. I think people don't really read them (if someone else posts twice per day, I normally only read the last post). But maybe that is me.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Battle of the Blogs

March Madness: Battle of the Blogs

This is so 1970s!Okay, as many of my loyal readers (thanks, you two) know, I have been watching Battle of the YouTube Non-Stars recently. JenLuv has done a really good job of copying DiGiTiLsOuL's idea of "Battle of the YouTube Stars." And copying in a good way. She has really done a fine job with it, and by the time I post this, she will have the fifth and final round of the fine competition.

This of course, seems to be like something I remember in the late 1970s – Battle of the Network Stars. I didn't watch any of DiGiTiLsOuL's videos on his competition, but I assume he attributed his competition to what I remember as a child. The three networks (oh my, only three networks!) had a competition that was really a copying of the Olympics.1 The first Battle was broadcast on ABC starting in November 19762, and the format for the almost ten years it was on consisted of a two-hour sequence of physical challenges, which were real and sometimes even aggressively competitive, hosted by Howard Cosell (usually). Focus. Back to "Battle of the Blogs".

I have noticed that blogs seem to be so 2005; maybe it's because most of the people I have been viewing are no longer blogging, and I have not added too many new blogs (my bad). Someone had a competition recently for bloggers, and it seemed sad that there were only a few people who voted (less than 60 last time I checked). That seems like only a few people to me.

Well, I wanted to do a competition, and I want it to be like "Battle of the YouTube Stars." Here is how I would like it to work:

1. I will accept possible entries from now until February 23. You can either respond to this blog entry, or you can email me at bloggerbattle(at) It is not my personal address; I have created it for this competition. Please only recommend two entries.

2. Then I will look to see at the number of entries (I sure hope there are lots of them). I will post the list on Monday, February 26, and then have everybody vote for the one blog they think is the best. From that voting, I will take the best 16, 8 or whatever makes sense, and we will start pairing blogs up. I will ask the owner of the blog to write a short summery of their blog, and we will place that up. Then you vote on which of the two is best, and so on. Think "March Madness" as it relates to basketball but without the betting.

3. Eventually one blog will reign supreme. Yeah. But that is not the point. The point will be that several blogs will be exposed to lots of eyeballs, and maybe you can find another gem or two for your blogroll. That is the real point of this.

Here is what I need from you:

1. Advertisement. You need to post something to advertise this competition.

You can cut and paste the below message if you like:

This is not spam. Well, this is not bad spam. Leesa 
is having a little contest called
"Battle of the Bloggers." Please visit her
<a href="
battle-of-blogs.html">blog</a> to see the details.
So if you want to nominate a blog for
this competition, please do so.

2. Feedback. Oh, and if you think this whole thing is crap, let me know that too. Maybe this is not a good idea. Really. No hurt feelings. And I won't get a friend to launch a denial of service (DoS) attack on your blog.

3. Patience. I will clutter up my blog with this thing, and if you just want to read my normal stuff, I will still post. I figure I will probably lose one day's worth of posts for the duration of the tournament.

A couple of things I forgot to mention:

1. Exclusion. Since I will be, for lack of a better word, sponsoring this, I am of course excluded from the competition. It seems obvious but I did want to state it.

2. Limiting Nominations. The whole point of limiting nominations is so people don't submit their blogrolls to me. If you must nominate three or four, I may let that slide. I just don't want people nominating tons of different blogs.

3. Poll Question. If you would like to vote on my newly created poll, it is hidden on the right (--->).

4. Furture Addendums. I know I have forgotten things. Sorry. I am not omniscient. Heck, I don't even plan well.

1 The Olympics seemed so much more important when only true amateurs competed (and it seemed to be us against the Russians).

2From Wikipedia: Each team had a captain; they and their fellow teammates were interviewed during the contest, engaging in sometimes earnest and campy discussions about the competition. It was hosted by Howard Cosell, and I think he took the competition more seriously than some. Some took the competition very seriously.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Economics 101 and One Dollar Bills

A week ago, I was getting something at a gas station (diet Coke and Skittles; wanted to be a little careless), and I handed the attendant a ten dollar bill. "Got anything smaller?" was his reply to my legal tender. I didn't, so I got a bunch of quarters back. Oh, for the days when I was still using a Laundromat. I would have been so happy.

Twice this week, I ate at Subway. Both times, there was a sign about needing ones. Several other times recently, clerks have asked others in line for smaller bills, in earshot of me.

Now, if you know nothing else about me: I am inquisitive. So I started thinking: where are all of the ones going? Where are all of the Washingtons going (not as impressive is calling out a Hamilton)?

I thought, and I thought, and I thought some more. Certainly if we are talking about random probability, people would be giving as many ones, on average, as people are getting in change. People may lose a penny in the car, but a buck, certainly not. (Note to any statistician reading: this is not porn. Go away. I mean, I know mapping money flow can be exceedingly difficult; the Department of the Treasury has been doing it for years to catch counterfeiters. Now, statistician, go get yourself some porn; that's why you use the Internet.)

Then it hit me: strippers are responsible for the missing ones at convenience stores and such. I mean, I have not been to a strip club since college, but I guess they still "tip" strippers with mostly small bills.

I can see random guy who gives the average store clerk a $10 and gets four dollars back in return. He thinks to himself, "Four ones. That is unusual. When is the last time I had four ones. I know, strip club." And then the guy starts thinking about local gentleman's establishments. He puts the four ones in a front pocket instead of back in his wallet, and the next time he pays for something, he gives the clerk a twenty, hoping for ones in return.

And that is just one random guy. Imagine in the city of Savannah, this happens to 10 guys within several blocks of where you buy small items (a cascading effect, I would like to call "the stripper effect" (hey, the American people bought the red scare with a domino effect; doesn't this sound more legitimate?). Ones start getting sucked out of the area. And if one guy calls a buddy on his cell phone and starts making plans, then several other guys are looking for ones. Not that going to strip clubs is bad for the local economy, but I don't want someone hassling me because I dropped a ten for my diet Coke and Skittles. Of course, the clerk probably thinks I am fishing for ones.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Valentine's Day Memories

I was thinking about Valentine's Day this morning on the way to work. And, you know, I have looked at my comments this morning, and someone said that if my advice does not get them laid, they will be upset. And looking at my council, my suggestions may or may not get you laid. What it will do is keep you out of the doghouse. That being said, I thought I would recount some of my Valentine's Day memories.

Sixth Grade
I remember receiving one single pink carnation when I was in sixth grade. Remember in school, where they sold carnations for some fundraising event, and on Valentine's Day, the volunteers would deliver them to Forth Period? And when the volunteer came to the classroom, all girls eyes were on the flowers. Would I get a flower this year? I bet she gets lots of flowers. I hate her.

Well, I got a single pink carnation, and all it said was my name and the class. Nothing else. I had no idea who the flower was from. It was my first year in middle school, and there were so many new people at school. I was just thankful that someone sent a flower to me. My girlfriends guessed all sorts of people, and I was completely at a loss.

At lunch, an unpopular boy approached me and asked if I liked the flower. I was shocked that it was from him, someone I really did not know. I did not want the flower to be from him, but I thanked him as graciously as a sixth grade girl could. Later that day, I was not proud of myself, but some friends asked if I ever found out who sent it, and I lied to my friends. "No," I said, "I guess it will be my secret Valentine."

Grown Up Valentines
The Valentine's Day after my infidelity (it was a good half year after he found out), I had the most romantic Valentine's since I have been married. I am not sure cheating had anything to do with the reward of a great Valentine's Day, and people who draw that conclusion may be making a big mistake.

Anyway, I when I got home the day before Valentine's Day, I found one of my favorite dresses on a hook that was balanced on the bedroom door with a note stuck through the hook. All it said was, "Put this on."

Nearly an hour later, my hubbie came home. And, thinking about what was coming up next was completely a turn-on. To see those few strong words, almost ordering me around. Complete turn-on.

Anyway, we went out to a very nice dinner. I felt like a princess. Well, not like a princess because were I a princess, they would not have to look to ensure that we were on the guest list. They would have seem my beaming face and escorted me into a private corner; private enough for me to enjoy my meal, public enough for common people to view their fair princess. Okay, I ain't no princess.

After dinner, he actually took me to a state park and we slept in a cabin that night. The next day, I called in (car trouble) and we spent the day together in the wilderness, or as wild as a state park can get.

It was a wonderful Valentine's Day because he planned. He had to pack for me, and he made reservations at both the restaurant and the state park (who knew he was capable of this?). It was not about the expense (the cabin was "cozy", but the dinner was really elegant).

Tomorrow night, we will be home alone eating Chinese food, and if hubbie knows what is good for him, he will read me poetry.

I guess my last post could have been distilled down to a few words: "Treasure your Valentine; show her that you care. Reverse cowgirl optional."

Monday, February 12, 2007

Valentine's Day Suggestions

Okay, I am an easy girl to impress, and I don't normally have great expectations, but Valentine's Day is a little bit different. Okay, guys, Valentine's Day is a little early this year – it falls on February 14. Why the heck can't guys remember it? When there is a lot of pink and red in the "specialty isles" of the grocery store, check it out to see if it is Valentine-related.

There are a few musts on Valentine's Day.

1. Cards. You must give your wife/girlfriend a card that you either made yourself or picked out yourself. Homemade cards are so much nicer than bought cards, but how many men are going to make a card. It scores big points, but it is not necessary to make your own card. But please, gentlemen, pick out an appropriate card. It can be funny (but please don't comment about a big ass if said Valentine has one). It can be mushy. But please don't just sign it – write a thought-out note in the card. Total cost is less than four dollars, and it is a must. If you don't get her one, she will say it is fine. She is lying to you. It is not fine.

2. Flowers. I know, the florists are making a killing on Valentine's Day, and to protest, you are boycotting your local florist. Bad move. I mean, if you are married, you figure you are just saving a few bucks and mutually, you benefit from the thriftiness. Men, did you ever notice that romance has little to do with thriftiness? Heck, romance may defy logic (sorry, Prata).

But don't just buy her flowers – have them delivered. For those romantics among you, you know why. For those "rational males", think of it this way – flowers bought in a store that you deliver yourself cost about $10 less than having them delivered. And the delivery really impacts the "value" of the gift. You are leveraging sunk costs anyway. And you know, I hate to admit it, but I love receiving flowers when other women in the office don't receive them. There is a temporary feeling of, "I married better than you did." And that feeling lasts through the night, if you know what I mean.

3. Feeling Special. And you have to do something in the evening that makes her feel special. And, ten minutes of passion on the bed does not count. This could be different for different women, so I am going to leave this point dangling.

Now, there are other things, some which are expected, some which are not, which are nice-to-have on Valentine's Day.

1. Dinner. You would think I would have put dinner on the must list. Sorry, but there are only so many restaurants out there, and they are so crowded on Valentine's Day. I love to get dressed up and go out, but to spend an hour or more waiting for a table sort of dampens some of the romance for the evening. My opinion only. But I do like going out on Valentine's Day. It can be a dive, but it just can't be a chain. Sorry, I am picky.

2. Poetry. You may have guessed, I am a nut for words, and poetry is so wonderful. I love listening to my hubbie read me poetry when we are close. His soothing words, my ears just drinking the poets' images. Quite wonderful.

3. Gifts. Okay, technically a card and/or flowers are gifts. But when I think of Valentine's Gifts, I think of other things. Jewelry is not really a "nice to have" unless it is a special Valentine's Day. Actually, the more I think about jewelry, this is more of an anniversary gift than a Valentine's Day gift (unless you are dating Paris Hilton). Lingerie is nice, but let's face it, half of the benefit goes to the giver. Guys, if you have a girlfriend, lingerie may not be appropriate. Even if you have been "doing it" for a while, it will remind her that when you thought of a romantic gift, you decided to give her something that is more of a sex gift than anything else. Enough said.

Okay, bottom line is that women just want to be worshiped. If you can remember that, you are golden. Remember, worship equals good.

After thinking about the post, I thought of something else. I was assuming you are either married or seriously dating someone. That is not always the case. Here are some other random thoughts on the matter.

1. Dating a Married Woman. This is something I can't recommend, guys. She is married. And when I say dating, I am being nice. Please, please, please don't send her flowers at home or at work. And don't buy her anything that can be described as evidence. Basically, you should not be doing this, but you know, it is really not up to you to help her hubbie discover her indiscretion. Oh, and don't give her anything that can be grown in a Petri dish, if you know what I mean.

2. Dating when you are not serious (both adults). This is one of those situations where you have to give her something, flowers and a card, but you really don't want to spend the money because you have only been dating for a few weeks. I would say you are out of luck and need to spend the money on something. But don't dump her on February 12 to save money on flowers (carnations hand-carried are fine) and a card. We are talking $10 (if you don't live in New York). Just think of it as part of being in the dating scene. And, yes, taking her out on this night would be oh-so-nice.

3. Dating when you are not serious (both children). If you are in elementary school, if it is anything like when I went to school, the girls loved having boyfriends and the boys ignored our shrill cries and claimed we had cooties. The boys are under no obligation to get anything, but those little candy hearts with "you're swell" will make her heart beat pitter-patter-pitter-patter. And you will be razzed by your friends. Both good things.

4. Dating when you are not serious (mixture of adults and children). Ew. Don't even joke about it.

5. Dating when you are not serious (mixture of adults and animals). Ew. See number 4.

6. Dating Paris Hilton. I can't help you. You have poor taste and even poorer decision-making skills. Just wear nice briefs in case your after-dark escapades make it onto film.

This is longer than I intended the post to be, but you know me, I like my writing to encourage people to get together like bunnies. And do the bunny hop.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Friday Randomness Part Five

Battle of the YouTube Non-Stars
Okay, the Battle of the YouTube Non-Stars Round 4 is almost over. I initially voted for DieBunnyHater and Subjonno. Then I changed one of my votes to Hugh's News. They are both good, but Hugh's News is cute and has a nice accent. Well, it occurs to me that I am voting not for the best VLOGger, but for the cute guy. Now, I can't tell if he is better than DieBunnyHater because I am freekin' horny (a bad thing). If you want to help me out, please vote for DieBunnyHater if you are a current YouTube user (and I would like you to vote for Subjonno as well - he has not a chance but he is sweet). The link is here. Yes, I feel like such a high school freshman right now. And you can simply cut and paste the following: "I vote for DieBunnyHater and Subjonno because Leesa told me to." Please. Please. Grovel. Grovel.

Bad Names
I think it would suck to have names like "Marijke Wolfe" or "Mr. Habeeb Usman". You see Marijke Wolfe tries each week to sell me Viagra and other penis drugs and Mr. Habeeb Usman has yet to find someone to help him launder money out of Nigeria. Let's say your name is Habeeb Usman. Do you think you would qualify for a mortgage? Hmmmmm. Or Marijke Wolfe? Every time she goes on a date, her date either wants to show her their big boy anatomy (oh, that happens to us all) or they get scared because they don't "measure up."

Weird Dreams
A much nicer dream pic; kissing a blond in the woods (yummy)!Twice this week, I have dreamed of a female co-worker kissing my back. I am not attracted to this woman in any way (okay Freudians, get the heck out of my blog), and the dream has actually been sort of creapy. I can't look at this woman, however, without thinking of the dream. I figure I have two choices: (1) hire a hitman to rid me of my co-worker (very expensive and, well, it sort of gets me in trouble with the Big Man upstairs), or (2) submit to electro-therapy to rid me of this image. Neither option seems optimal. I mean, why the heck can't my dream be me kissing some blond babe in the piney woods, not thinking of the rest of the world?

YouTube Regrets
You all know I have been dabbling in YouTube recently. I don't spend tons of time there, but it seems to be a bit like reality television for the masses. I may blog more on this later (in a daily blog instead of a snippet), but it seems like parts of the environment are spiraling down. Very high school.

Web 2.0
I posted a video about Web 2.0. And I have read a bit about it lately. Makes sense to me, and I think I am going to be dedicating a bit of time on this later. Part of me wants to post a "regular" entry on Web 2.0 once per week. But I mean, I have started doing the YouTube entries on Fridays, now the Web 2.0 entries on another day, pretty soon this is going to be a regular blog, not just a place to put my writings. It ceases to be for myself. And maybe this blog should be for more than me.

Dressing for Work
In the summers, when I dress for work, I always check my appearance three times before I go outside. Why? Because I normally don't put my blouse on until last minute (think wrinkles, not sloppy sex), and I am so afraid I will go to work without a top on. Did I say that out loud?

Leap of Faith
I have been thinking of doing something. And it may be really fun (with the blog). But I can really fall flat on my face with this. It could be really lame and horrible. It could be more work than it is worth. I don't know. I will lay this out and see if you think it is worth the risk. Or maybe I will just figure I could "go for it." In fact, I may just do it anyway. This probably won't be for a few weeks anyway, but it may be a lot of fun (that would be the point). More later.

More Out of Life
Have you ever wanted more out of life than you currently have? I have felt that way at times, but I don't right now. Completely in heaven right now, I am. Not sure why because it is cold outside and I like it warm.

I don't know much about physics or human physiology or whatever, but our internal temperature is about 99 degrees. Why do we sweat when it is the same temperature outside? I thought we are cooling ourselves when we perspire, so do we need to cool ourselves when the inside and outside temperature are about the same?

Layout Changes
I did a few minor layout changes to my blog. Not sure you will be able to tell, but I really like them. Why does something so silly matter to me?

Well, this randomness was not as good as in the past. Maybe random Fridays are not as good as they used to be.

Friday YouTube Gem #6: valsartdiary and 21stCenturyCat

Val's Art Diary is a wonderful VLOG. It is so well-done and so beautiful. Val lives in Italy (I think) and she basically shows you how she paints. She has other videos, and it seems like it is art plus philosophy. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, I love her accent, and I really appreciate her careful way of editing the videos. She even has a video that shows how she produced (made?) the trailer for all of her videos. Very clever, and extremely time-consuming.

Val makes me want to paint. She makes me want to sculpt. She makes me want to buy paintings. And I guess that's part of what she needs to do, sell her paintings.

This embedded clip is not my favorite, but it is a Valentine's clip. And you know, all of her shorts are wonderful. She ends each episode with, "Eat your cookies." What a wonderful suggestion!

For a less popular YouTuber, I am going to recommend 21stCenturyCat. I say he is less popular, because most of his videos only have 200 or so viewers. I am going to embed "The Love Doctor" because it is near St. Valentine's Day.

Basically, if you want to ask a sexual question, Dr. Love will answer your comment, private message or video response. I tripped upon when watching Randy Buffalo: The Movie. Again, not a lot of views, but a nice short film. 21stCenturyCat also did a piece entitled Blogging for Dummies (aka My 1st Blog). It is really about VLOGs; a bit disappointing. Actually the blog is not super-duper great, but since there was so few subscribers and the editing seemed good, I thought I would mention it.