Monday, February 12, 2007

Valentine's Day Suggestions

Okay, I am an easy girl to impress, and I don't normally have great expectations, but Valentine's Day is a little bit different. Okay, guys, Valentine's Day is a little early this year – it falls on February 14. Why the heck can't guys remember it? When there is a lot of pink and red in the "specialty isles" of the grocery store, check it out to see if it is Valentine-related.

There are a few musts on Valentine's Day.

1. Cards. You must give your wife/girlfriend a card that you either made yourself or picked out yourself. Homemade cards are so much nicer than bought cards, but how many men are going to make a card. It scores big points, but it is not necessary to make your own card. But please, gentlemen, pick out an appropriate card. It can be funny (but please don't comment about a big ass if said Valentine has one). It can be mushy. But please don't just sign it – write a thought-out note in the card. Total cost is less than four dollars, and it is a must. If you don't get her one, she will say it is fine. She is lying to you. It is not fine.

2. Flowers. I know, the florists are making a killing on Valentine's Day, and to protest, you are boycotting your local florist. Bad move. I mean, if you are married, you figure you are just saving a few bucks and mutually, you benefit from the thriftiness. Men, did you ever notice that romance has little to do with thriftiness? Heck, romance may defy logic (sorry, Prata).

But don't just buy her flowers – have them delivered. For those romantics among you, you know why. For those "rational males", think of it this way – flowers bought in a store that you deliver yourself cost about $10 less than having them delivered. And the delivery really impacts the "value" of the gift. You are leveraging sunk costs anyway. And you know, I hate to admit it, but I love receiving flowers when other women in the office don't receive them. There is a temporary feeling of, "I married better than you did." And that feeling lasts through the night, if you know what I mean.

3. Feeling Special. And you have to do something in the evening that makes her feel special. And, ten minutes of passion on the bed does not count. This could be different for different women, so I am going to leave this point dangling.

Now, there are other things, some which are expected, some which are not, which are nice-to-have on Valentine's Day.

1. Dinner. You would think I would have put dinner on the must list. Sorry, but there are only so many restaurants out there, and they are so crowded on Valentine's Day. I love to get dressed up and go out, but to spend an hour or more waiting for a table sort of dampens some of the romance for the evening. My opinion only. But I do like going out on Valentine's Day. It can be a dive, but it just can't be a chain. Sorry, I am picky.

2. Poetry. You may have guessed, I am a nut for words, and poetry is so wonderful. I love listening to my hubbie read me poetry when we are close. His soothing words, my ears just drinking the poets' images. Quite wonderful.

3. Gifts. Okay, technically a card and/or flowers are gifts. But when I think of Valentine's Gifts, I think of other things. Jewelry is not really a "nice to have" unless it is a special Valentine's Day. Actually, the more I think about jewelry, this is more of an anniversary gift than a Valentine's Day gift (unless you are dating Paris Hilton). Lingerie is nice, but let's face it, half of the benefit goes to the giver. Guys, if you have a girlfriend, lingerie may not be appropriate. Even if you have been "doing it" for a while, it will remind her that when you thought of a romantic gift, you decided to give her something that is more of a sex gift than anything else. Enough said.

Okay, bottom line is that women just want to be worshiped. If you can remember that, you are golden. Remember, worship equals good.

After thinking about the post, I thought of something else. I was assuming you are either married or seriously dating someone. That is not always the case. Here are some other random thoughts on the matter.

1. Dating a Married Woman. This is something I can't recommend, guys. She is married. And when I say dating, I am being nice. Please, please, please don't send her flowers at home or at work. And don't buy her anything that can be described as evidence. Basically, you should not be doing this, but you know, it is really not up to you to help her hubbie discover her indiscretion. Oh, and don't give her anything that can be grown in a Petri dish, if you know what I mean.

2. Dating when you are not serious (both adults). This is one of those situations where you have to give her something, flowers and a card, but you really don't want to spend the money because you have only been dating for a few weeks. I would say you are out of luck and need to spend the money on something. But don't dump her on February 12 to save money on flowers (carnations hand-carried are fine) and a card. We are talking $10 (if you don't live in New York). Just think of it as part of being in the dating scene. And, yes, taking her out on this night would be oh-so-nice.

3. Dating when you are not serious (both children). If you are in elementary school, if it is anything like when I went to school, the girls loved having boyfriends and the boys ignored our shrill cries and claimed we had cooties. The boys are under no obligation to get anything, but those little candy hearts with "you're swell" will make her heart beat pitter-patter-pitter-patter. And you will be razzed by your friends. Both good things.

4. Dating when you are not serious (mixture of adults and children). Ew. Don't even joke about it.

5. Dating when you are not serious (mixture of adults and animals). Ew. See number 4.

6. Dating Paris Hilton. I can't help you. You have poor taste and even poorer decision-making skills. Just wear nice briefs in case your after-dark escapades make it onto film.

This is longer than I intended the post to be, but you know me, I like my writing to encourage people to get together like bunnies. And do the bunny hop.


LarryLilly said...

Valentines day, mans worst holiday times infinity LOL.

Leesa, I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.

See Leesa, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a great valentines day without the commercialization.

I mean, lets face it, Valentines day is the day when a man lost his head over "love". Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honour of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.

So Leesa, isnt it better to be around for the entire year, and not get carried away on just ONE day LOL

LarryLilly said...

You left out dating "When your trying to escape Hilda the Camp Nurse.", you know that scene, well, of course not, your not Hilda, and your not possessive, like in a parasite, or a lamprey fish, or some other biological being sucking the life out of you person LOL.

Then, there is always the "Dating a married woman who is 25 years younger than you". Do you get her the bubblegum scented candle, the teddy bear holding flower balloon ensemble, or the bazooka chewing gum flavored edible panties? Hum, tough choices all three LOL

LarryLilly said...

dont ask, it wasnt pretty LOL

kathi said...

I can't remember one valentines day that 'sticks out'. Either that's sad, or my mind is that far gone...wait, that would be sad too.

Leesa said...

larry: if you put it this way, it is better to purchase a bunch of chocolates than to get beaten to death by clubs.

kathi: you are right, it is sad either way. Hope you are well!

Cinderella said...

LMAO!! Dating Paris Hilton!!??!! You are too funny!

I think you gave excellent advice. And I agree getting flowers delivered means a lot more to a woman than just getting them handed to you. It shows his declaration of love and it makes the woman feel special.

I hope you have a wonderful Valentines Day!!

Prata said...

I still don't know what to give for Valentine's Day. I don't celebrate these things...and neither does the object of my affection, but I should give something anyway. I just am not sure what...=-/ I hate these flippin' days.

Pyth0s said...

I don't need a "Special" day to show my love to my wife.

It's sad to think that many people actually do have to do something on that day. Makes me wonder about the other 360ish days after.

Video X said...

I think this can be such an awkward day...I get embarrassed easily by gifts of any kind from any person on any gift kind of day...especially Valentine's Day, Christmas, my birthday (I've deleted that one from the calendar), Sweetest Day (is that a real day?).

The only thing that never made me feel embarrassed about Valentine's Day was the silly little Valentine's Day cards my grandmother sent us...something my mother STILL carries out even though we are adults.

But I do hope (and I assume is the case since you wrote about it) that you get your flowers! Dinner would be nice too! Have a happy Valentine's Day!

Leesa said...

cinderella: more people date Ms. Hilton than you would imagine.

prata: think Necco Sweathearts.

pyth0s: just so she knows the other 364 days.

VX: dinner will be take-out Chinese, I think. Hope you are not embarrassed on Valentine's Day. I know how all of those suitors can be.

LarryLilly said...

I heard on ESPN a couple of weeks ago that more men plan for their Super Bowl parties than they plan on Valentines day.

Now, My wife just this past Friday got out of the hospital after back surgery. So she cant go out at all. But I do plan on getting take out from a nice place, and bringing it to the house. While I may sound like a real jerk, I have lived to be this old, staying alive, and being an Italian charmer, I have been known to use jewelery to get out all my serious predicaments. And while I have done NOTHING wrong this year, I will allow this situation to be considered as a serious predicament LOL.

Edtime Stories said...

wonderful post, thanks for brightening my day.

Leesa said...

larry: I guess they figure it is better to watch a score than participate in one!

ed: thanks, dear.

Tai said...

I'm a fan of new cars....

Ian Lidster said...

You are so sweet. Sweet and smart and funny. That's a lethal combo.
Happy Valentine's Day to you, Leesa.


Shadowdog said...

I'm gonna be watching Lost on V Day. That's all the gift I need!

Sornie said...

My idea of romance is starting the wife's car in the morning. What? That's not romantic? I fail to see how it isn't!

GW Mush said...

If I use all of Leesa's tips and I end up not getting laid, Im going to be upset!

Leesa said...

tai: I thought you were a spam entry until I looked to see that I visited you the other day.

ian: thanks, sweetie.

shadowdog: Sweetie, enjoy Lost.

sornie: that is sweet too.

gw mush: no guarantee on getting laid.