Meme: Commencement Address

Yesterday, I discussed giving myself a challenge of writing a Commencement Address. I don’t really have many people who read my blog, but this meme is more for myself than for others. It is just a writing exercise I suppose, inspired by all of the graduation news I have seen recently.

Here is the body of what I might say at graduation (below). If you do this exercise, let me know, and I will read yours as well.

When I was younger, I thought life was all about balance. In actuality, a balanced life is a life that does not challenge you. Sometimes you need to focus all of your energy into one area of your life. I mean, we don’t bat an eye when a new mother and father focus all of their energy on that bundle of joy; we recognize the importance of being unbalanced at times. I was unbalanced in college as well – studied continuously for a few weeks around finals. Spent another week going out every night (it is harder than it sounds).

Read to enhance your life, not to escape from it.

Have sex (religious folks can insert “in a marriage/monogamous relationship”) to express love, to wash away a crappy day, because your lover looks happy, sad or indifferent. Have sex to say “there is nothing this good on television.” Have sex more than you would admit to your friends because it helps us connect with the ones we most love.

Skinny dip in a public pool at least once. You will be able to draw upon that experience later in life and remember it fondly. And if you get caught, the stories might even be better.

Don’t trade sex for food. Unless the food is really good. Or you think the sex will be really good.

Eat your veggies and learn to cook. Learn to dress up things that are good for you with spice. And add spice to all aspects of your life. It makes the bland palatable, and it makes the wonderful extraordinary.

Say “yes” to a date when you want to say “no.” Either you will be pleasantly surprised, or you will have funny stories to tell others.

Forgive your family even if you don’t think they deserve forgiveness. The relationship with them is worth more than any lesson you can teach them. And swallowing pride is less painful than not sharing their lives when you get older.

Change the batteries in your smoke detector every six months.

Drink red wine.

Laugh at children’s jokes, even if you don’t get them. Or even if the joke is about farts or poo. Seeing them join in the laughter is worth every bit of the acting you may have to endure.

Technology, once Fix-a-Flat was developed, has not improved our lives at all.

Don’t be embarrassed to purchase condoms. If you are single, it means you are taking responsibility for your sexual health. If you are a woman, just think of it is making a statement about not relying on a man to protect you in all aspects of your life. But never make love with a man who you don’t think will protect you.

Buy memorable gifts for your nieces and nephews.

Alcohol won’t solve your problems, but it does make those around you seem more interesting.

You will find yourself trying on a dress you can’t afford that looks awesome on you. Buy the dress anyway.

I guess I could sum up these thoughts with the following. We are only on this earth for a short time - make the most of it. Don't let fear keep you from being the person you are called to be. And share your talents with the world; your gifts were never yours to keep anyway.

Giving Advice:A Challenge to Myself

I was shopping in a Target recently, and I heard one older mother criticize what I presume to be her son-in-law about an issue concerning a newborn child (grandchild to the mother). The son-in-law did not follow the advice, but she gave the advice in such a condescending, uncaring way that I was not all that surprised, even though the advice concerned the safety of the newborn.

A week or two ago, I saw a couple of YouTube graduation speeches - Tom Hanks and Amy Poehler. By the way, although I am still somewhat impressed with Ivy School graduates, I love the quote in Good Will Hunting: "See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you're gonna staht doin some thinkin on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certaintees in life. One, don't do that. And Two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin education you coulda got for a dollah fifty in late chahges at the public library." I clipped the quote from IMDB - I don't speak or spell Bostonian.

Anyway, the Target incident and the recent commencement speeches gave me an idea for a challenge, well, two challenges.

The first one is a personal challenge - if I give advice, do it in such a way that I know that the advice is given out of love. That it is compassionate. That way, I know my true intent. If I am just being a "gotcha smart ass", it does not help the other person, and it pollutes my soul at the same time.

The second challenge is to me - and if you want to accept the challenge as well - for you, too. Write a commencement speech, and publish it on your blog. You can think about your audience (recommended) or not. But what would you say? What have you learned over your lifetime that you would want to tell a bunch of college graduates making their way into the world? And after you have read your words, are you still following them? I may try and bang something out by Friday. I actually hope that this comes easily . . . we should have these life lessons in an easy-to-retrieve place in our brains.

Oh, and if you do this, please point to these rules - or copy them in your post. Since this blog is all-but-dead, I figure all of my 5 readers would be better at starting the meme than me. I am not called to create memes.

Random Friday #27

Selective Technophile
The other day, I was looking at my blog (to answer comments), and blogger sort of hiccupped and gave me my blog feed instead. I have not ever seen the feed, and I was a bit surprised. I had heard about feeds for websites that have data that is updated frequently. I am a selective technophile; I understand some technology and don't know much about other things. I can blog and write a few things in HTLM. But I don't do the feed thing. Don't really know about it.

Videos
I have been entertained recently by ~Deb's videos. I mean, she videos Sunday fun, talking about a good porn plot, and my favorite, them just goofing around tp make a music video. Deb is incredibly gifted (has quite an expressive mind). But I sometimes wonder if video editing software is allowing people with smaller budgets and less technology to enter the fray. I would imagine this takes hours and hours to do. I don't have the patience for this, but I am glad that some (~Deb) do. And there are probably a bunch on YouTube that I wish lacked the skill to upload vids, but that is something else.

Academy Awards
I missed the Academy Awards this year, and you know, my life did not change. I did watch omovies summary, and I think I got caught up. I have not been to see an award-nominated movie in quite some time (I did not see Batman because it looked too violent). Don't get me wrong, I like artsy films. But I guess I am more used to a film being in a foreign language to make it artsy.

Blue Juice
I listened to part of Blue Juice, a really bad 1995 movie starring Sean Pertwee as JC, a twenty-something surfer, who is more of a surfer kid than an adult. The best part of the movie is in the first scene, where you see JC with full frontal nudity. Well, there is a strategically placed sock that keeps the movie at an R rating. Catherine Zeta-Jones plays Chloe, his girlfriend. Chole's best line, "Are you telling a woman with a pan of burning fat in her hand that she doesn't know what she is doing?" The film is set in Australia, and I wonder if Catherine Zeta-Jones has a good Australian accent. I have no idea, actually, because I have not been down under.

Anyway, I think if a movie is free on the web (and there is no copyright infringement), I can almost guess that it is old or it is crappy. This one is sort of crappy. There are touching points (about the one hour point, where they talk into a "lie detector blow hole"), but it is normally a bit flat. Or does it go from charming to flat, a bit uneven for a film.

Oh, and is it just me, or could you even imagine Catherine Zeta-Jones being Sean Connery's love interest in Entrapment. He is so sexy, but I just don't see the two of them together.

RPI and Basketball
The RPI (Rating Percentage Index) is a measure of strength of schedule and how a team does against that schedule. Created in 1981, the RPI is a tool used in selecting and seeding the 65 teams for the NCAA Men's basketball Division I tournament. This sentence is taken directly from its definition. But when I looked at the numbers, Tennessee had a #1 strength of schedule. Tennessee plays in the SEC, and according to everyone, they suck this year. Okay, this is by someone who pulls for Georgia Tech. Anyway, how can Tennessee be #1 in SOS when they play in a conference that sucks? I don't know too much about men's basketball, but this makes no sense to me.

Carpe Diem
"If you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you wanted. Would you capture it, or just let it slip away?" I heard these lines, or similarities to them, recently on a television program. Okay, I admit it, the lines are a bit lame. I think they were written that way on purpose. But you know, for most of us, I think we let these moments slip away. Sort of sad, really.

Flixter
Flixster.com is a new-ish site. I wonder why they are not being sued by Flicker. Or Twitter. Or both.

Movies
Is it just around here, or do the movie theaters seem more crowded? I want to watch A Powerful Noise but there is some stink associated with the phrase "town hall meeting." Whenever I hear that, I think, "A meeting where we all bitch and agree with one another but nothing gets done." March 6 is when Watchmen premiers. Oh, and that is Malin Akerman on the movie poster. Not sure who she is, but I think people will go just to see her in spandex.


Tagged
I don't like doing memes, and tags are just sort of memes. But since I sort of poked at Ian earlier in the week, he tagged me. Instead of just forgetting, I am going to list 10 sites with attitude. Because I have a bit of 'tude myself, I am not going to follow through with the entire request, telling them that they have an award.

Anyway, here are the rules, some of which I will not be following:

Rules for the award:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.

2. Nominate at least 10 blogs, which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

5. Nominate your favorites and link to this post.

Here are my nominations, in a particular order, the result of an algorithm that involves numerology, metaphysics and Ti Chi:

1. Let Me Go On and On. Okay, my very own lesbian crush.
2. Grantochrist. If you ignore the J-bunnies, a really funny read.
3. Cup 'o Joe. The only HR person you will ever like.
4. SSC. Joe's main squeeze.
5. Heart of a Family. A day in the life of a super Mom with a child with special needs.
6. Xmichra. 'Nuff said. Don't want to make Deb jealous.
7. Dr. Deb. Always engaging.
8. Mal's Mumblings. One smart cookie.
9. Saur. I don't read her often, but a good blog with good 'tude.
10. A Tail of Two Towns. If you get jealous easily, skip this one. He lives in paradise.

Oh, and if I didn't list you? Maybe that is because I like you more. Did I mention I don't like tags and memes?