Yummy Amber, Cheetos and Mr. President

I read Amber's blog the other day, and one phrase got, as my grand-pappy would have said, caught in my craw: "yummy in bed." It is a rich phrase that is so descriptive and sexy, but I can also see a very shy girl saying this at work. It reminds me of someone eating an ice cream slowly, seductively, milking every ounce of pleasure out of those 820 calories. Okay, prata, 820 Calories. I always hated that calories and Calories, while the words looked the same, were exactly 999 calories apart. But if we used calories on Cheetos bags, we would all be staring at 160,000 calories – that is a heck of a lot of zeros for an ounce of artificial orange cheesy delight. Oh, crap, you probably figure I like Cheetoes now. Yeah, personal information like this is what you get here – notice that in the Playboy centerfolds (I have not seen one in 15 years so bear with me – or should it be bare with me?). Can you imagine one of the questions they ask playmates – what is your favorite snack food? I mean, the playmates or whoever writes for them would be trying to figure out suggestive food items. For example, a playmate may write "oh, ding dongs are my favorite. I just like to roll them around in my mouth, taking care not to get too much of the cream filling on my lips. Cream can be so messy."

Oh, where was I going with this. Oh, "yummy in bed" Amber. Not that I know if she is yummy in bed – I mean, no one has written me, describing a layover in Denver with this Amber chick, saying that she was delicious. From the blog, she seems nice – and her posts are entertaining/well written. Like Amber, however, I do get a few pieces of mail that cause one to scratch one's head. There is a guy who wanted worn panties of mine – and I am guessing it may have something to do with the header for the erotic blogs I link to, "Blogs that Dampen my Panties." It is not like I hermetically seal my panties in Zip Lock® bags if, by chance, they get a tad damp.

You know, I tell you that I am more than some skank, and my mind has been in the toilet all week. Well, not literally.

I am enjoying the world of podcasting. Who would think that people would for no pay or benefit, spend time and energy creating something to entertain strangers. Oh, doesn't that describe blogging as well? Ouch. I hate when reality hits me in the face.

Another random thought that has occurred to me today – well, it has occurred to me several days, on and off, for a while – why do I need to have Word Verification on my own blog? I mean, I understand the value of it on other blogs, but who in their right mind would place spam on their own blogs? And that's what Word Verification is all about, right? Protecting us from robots – spiders, whatever the heck they are – that are little programs going from page to page, posting comments like, "I said the same thing in my blog today. Come over to AutosRUs blog and get a great deal on a Chevy Tahoe."

Here is another scary thought – tens of thousands of people compete for American Idol each season, but only 20 or so people ever seriously compete to be the president of the United States every four years. And I wonder if more people follow and vote for American Idol than they do for president. Holy crap. Now I am scared. I think I will go now. Where did I put the Cheetos?