Friday, January 13, 2006

Story Time

Friday the thirteenth. If you don't want to tempt fate, you need to read, "Still Walking." Just a thought. Trying to nab the all important paraskevidekatriaphobic readership demographic.

I need to finish a post I started in late October. I called it "Story Time", and it is not one of my erotic stories. Sorry, no body fluids in this post.

To set the stage, there is a very nice elderly gentleman who occasionally fills in for our regular janitor. I wish I had a picture of this man – he has a kind face, and at first glance, you would think he had salt-and-pepper hair. But his hair is all white – he is a black gentleman, and he is losing his hair so his scalp and white hair have the illusion of having salt-and-pepper hair. Age? Not sure, but from talking with him, he has to be in his eighties. His skin – which reminds me of the most wonderful chocolate ice cream – does not reveal his age. His skin seems to be all one color – and a very rich color indeed. He was probably very handsome in his youth. Were I a spry 75, I would be looking in his direction now.

Anyway, he told me a story – and in the shortening days of October, I promised to reveal his story (and I didn't do it at the time). Darned me. One of my New Year's Resolutions was to get rid of all of my draft posts in "Leesa's Stories." Finishing this story will accomplish that resolution. Teaching point: If you are tired of not accomplishing New Year's Resolutions, aim low. For instance, "I resolve not to wet myself while camping in a large group." Now everyone, well almost everyone, can nail that resolution. Now I won't embarrass any of you who have done this (that would make me a bitch, and I am sweet as pie), but someone may have written about this on November 7, 2005. Perhaps.

Back to the story. Oh, am I spastic today.

He told me a story of when he was 25 years old. He had returned from the War (I assume WW II), and to his wife. He was injured during the war, and so he was walking with the aid of a walker. Please remember, this is the 1940s, and although I was not there, I am relatively sure there were no cellular phone, and most homes only had one or two phones in the whole home (black rotary dial phones).

So this young, ill man wants to make a phone call – to his girlfriend. He did not call her that, he said, "I needed to call a girl." So he tells his wife, I am going to walk down the block to use the pay phone.

"What is wrong with our phone?" his loving wife asks.

"I just need to walk down the street and make a call," he answers.

This elderly gentleman smiles as he recalls his answer. Then he tells me that she sees right through him – she knows there is another woman.

Her next response was effective – it did was it intended.

She said, "You can go down the street and make the call if you like, but once you get back in our apartment, your ass is mine."

And he reminds me that he was walking with a walker, and he thought she might kill him. At that point, he stopped his cheating. He never made that phone call.

I can't relate the story like this gentleman – my impression is that the story was sweet, a bit shocking, and I needed to hear it at the time. It was like there is some point at which one makes a decision to change – and that was the point for this man.

Getting back to me (attention whore, remember?), after I came clean with my husband. Well sort of clean, anyway. Was I going to cheat again – I was not sure. Probably. Got drugs, went into therapy, cried a lot for the next month, and I did not know what I wanted.

There was a point in an argument when I finally got it – my hubbie wants me to be around even though I cheated. And I saw what he thought our marriage was suppose to be – an image I held for some time. I could not turn back the clock, and I hated how he sometimes looked at me. He looked at me with eyes of betrayal. Earned, yes, but it still stung me to the core.

Now we still fight, I still am bitchy at times, and we are not tossing rose petals beneath each others feet each day. But I look at him differently, with a deeper sense of love. This man's story reminded me of that on that October afternoon. She is now dead, rest her soul, but he had more than 50 years of a good marriage. Well, maybe 45 years of a great marriage and 5 years of a suck-y marriage. I don't know. But I believe I was meant to hear this man's story.

Sure, I joke about a New Year's Resolution that all but VX (sorry, VX, I am a bitch at times!) can live up to – but there is another resolution, not made because the calendar turned from one year to another, that centers on renewing my marital vows every day. That's a resolution worth keeping!

20 comments:

Giovanna said...

Leesa,

I think I was meant to come read your blog.

Nice post.

Shannon said...

Wow!!! We can all relate to this post Leesa, trust me.

I also beleive we all get to the point where something just clicks in our selves and things become alittle more clear. It's a waiting game within yourself.

Your husband adores you, it's easy to see, and his forgiveness is proof of that. But he has to forgive you fully, so that you can forgive yourself... there is nothing more painful then knowing the one you love is hurt and you caused this pain. It's a new beginning for you both... take it one day at a time, we are only human..

P.S. *Looking back in my archives now* LOL

Video X said...

"Sorry, no body fluids in this post."....haha...that made me laugh...i dont know why some things make me laugh and others dont...but you are funny! -- oh reminds me...i did read the whipped story right after you mentioned it and i was so turned on (i was at work still) that i had to go to the restroom immediately and take care of matters...

oh and i'm just a bad blogger lately too.

ha! that's hilarious...no, i dont think "bitch" at all! i'm pretty easy and it takes a bit to make me mad...hell i posted the damn stuff! haha...there was no way i was going to get away with it considering there were quite a few people there that wkend who are also bloggers...i was called out multiple times...so hey i guess you would fit right in! hee hee.

and finally, i love this post. i love what you think of your marriage now. i love your honesty (maturity) about the whole thing...

~Deb said...

Your husband loves you unconditionally. That's rare. You're fortunate. I know I wasn't a perfect angel in my 12 yr relationship. She always took me back and accepted me 'as is'...and it was then I realized that there wasn't anyone else in this world who could love me more than she could.

Thanks for sharing this story---I did get a few chuckles out of it too!

Now off to make a call on that payphone!

Prata said...

Leesa!

That _was_ cute! So then. Still Standing. I like Still Standing...or Still Walking..or just about anything else. Ideas..ideas..anyone else?

Leesa said...

giovanna: you honor me with your words.

shannon: my husband forgave me before I forgave myself. It took him a week of yelling and crying to forgive me, and it took me a long time to forgive myself.

VX: We have one-person restrooms here, but I can remember the first time I entered a "stall-like" restroom and someone was releaving herself. I stayed outside for a few minutes wanting to know who it was, but she didn't come out, and I had to get back to work.

~deb: Do they still have pay phones?

prata: heck, not sure why I changed the name (I edited it after I read your comment). Still Walking. Giovanna made a really great entry today. And the main character is walking! Not standing!

Byron said...

You are a good person Leesa and so is your husband.You both learned,U will learn more but the most importand ingredient LOVE is there

Bruce said...

Wow.. yours is the second post I've read today(the other one being muse's) that speaks of love. I've been thinking a lot about it myself, lately, and even posted about it on my own blog. You are lucky that your husband loves you the way he does, and I can tell that you return that love in kind. Great post, Leesa.

SuperSpyGal said...

True love is loving someone in spite of and regardless of..

I think we all get lost at times, but knowing that when you think you're lost all you have to do is turn around and see that you're not alone...THAT is one of the greatest feelings in the world !

Good Luck to you !

Monica said...

When you said "and we are not tossing roses beneath each others feet each day" I thought 'what a terribly graphic description of how spouses hurt each other' Sure from the outside, it looks like they're being sweet and romantic, but they're really hurting each other (I tend to do all my gardening barefoot) Maybe they don't know or won't admit they're hurting each other, maybe they do it on purpose...anyway, I don't think that that's what you were getting at with that particular turn of phrase, but it struck me (maybe I should just get some garden clogs.)

Leesa said...

byron: thanks for the compliment.

bruce: I love reading musey's posts.

superspygal: thanks. Monday's post is in the same vein.

monica: I meant to say rose petals.

kathi said...

I love you.

With that said, this reminds me of when my kids and I go to McKinney (it's a town full of antique shops). They look for sports memorabilia and the newer the condition, the better it is. I look for things well used with still a lot to give. A table may have that dent, and a couple coats of paint can be seen in the worn areas...but that just shows it's been used and much loved. I don't mean to call you used, lol. But with a sports card or such...it's damaged, it's thrown away, lost it's value. And then there are other things, like us, that are loved and valued all that much more with the flaws.
I've probably done enough damage here now, :) I'll move on.
hugs.

Angel With an Attitude said...

Hey leesa! glad you found my blog! as you requested...the new one is here:

My New Blog!

Monica said...

I figured that that's where you were going with it...but tossing roses is so much more colorful.

Killing with kindness.
Guess I have a mean streak.

Pseudo-intellectual lunatic said...

interesting blog

moebugge said...

growing up i always believed that there was a lock out there waiting for the key which i posessed(yinyang, malefemale, penisvagina)i just had to find her. i was an early bloomer so i thought i would know when this magical moment would occur. I met this fantastic woman whom we clicked together like a horse and a jockey winning the kentucky derby. But dammit to this day i can only surmise that it was a hormonally thing 3 years in a row she would get this notion that thing were not moving fast enough for her in our relationship(marriage) and we would separate. In the meantime i was holding off to see if we would make it past that curve in the road inwhich we would hit the cliff or take the big dive and separate for a short period of time. We always( 3x, Hah!) got back together and would have these rabbit liked love bunny sessions until the next spring. She came back after the third bump in the road and I actually did not want to go through another rollercoaster ride with her and I was straddling the fence but what happened i must relegate to fate.
we were standing at a light and another man was making the turn in his car: i caught him looking at her and she looking at him as he made the turn> > and then she glances to see if I had caught the interplay which had transpired. I played it and I played her.
We had a marathon sex session. When I accompanied her home I explained to her that maybe we have done all that we could do for one another and that it was time we gave someone else a chance to find our happiness. Verbatum "I would always be her friend, but I would never be her lover again". She would stop by every now and then- to see if i might have weaken in my resolve. She even stopped by a week before she was supposed to get married. Like white on rice, bees and honey, fish and water:To this day we are still friends
May be this says more about me than it says about you? Did you get my drift?

The Seeker said...

I feel like I've read this before. Deja vu? Hmmm...

Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

Congrats on the love and comittment!

Leesa said...

kathi: wow, what a comment. It sounds like I am a 50-year-old hooker! Just teasing. Love your images, though.

tude: thanks for the link!

monica: love your image about throwing roses.

pseudo-intellectual lunatic: aren't most lunatics very intellegent?

moebugge: no, no, you two should have been together. At least, that's what I would have screamed at the movie screen.

seeker: have I written this before? Have you?

greg: thanks.

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