I just wanted to post a letter written for ~Deb here. I just liked it. I sort of wish people would write me. Oh, I hide my email address. That explains it.
I was wondering if you would post this on your blog. I typically blog about the Bee Gees, installing vinyl floor, and why the WNBA is not a commercially viable sport. You might imagine I have loads of regular readers, but I don't want to post on the subject of religion. I am an avid reader of your blog, and this subject seems much more at home with your blog. Plus, I don't want to be labeled a "kooky religious type" by my readers, so I would like to share these thoughts more anonymously.
I had a dream recently, and this one little dream has changed my entire outlook on life. How can that be, you wonder? I dreamt about my mother, and it was one of the most intense dreams I have ever experienced. My mother died less than one year ago, and if you have ever lost a parent, there are always "loose ends." I said goodbye, but not the best goodbye I could have said.
And I regretted it.
So I am dreaming about my mom, and she is telling me that everything is okay, and that she loves me. I could smell her perfume, feel her touch and her hug seemed so real. I awoke, and the senses were so real. I lay in bed, wondering if I was dreaming or if this was real. I just could not tell the difference.
My dreams are not necessarily very real. I can tell when I am dreaming, so this dream shook me to the core. You see, I believe that my mother visited me in my sleep. I don't have words to describe the experience. Some would say that my mother was an angel, and you know, angel means "messenger." That makes sense. I was deeply troubled over this, and mom came to me to comfort me, to remind me that she was still in my heart.
I think a lot about my religious beliefs, and I believe in an afterlife. Until recently, though, my thoughts of an afterlife have not been concrete. I never thought people "crossed over." Or that there was a blurry line between this life and the next life. I don't believe we will be floating in clouds, strumming harps (though, I enjoy harp music). I just think the experience will be something we cannot comprehend as humans.
When we shed our skin, though, I believe that things will be wonderful, and I thought those who have passed before us have better things to do than to dabble in the affairs of this world. And I think I was wrong, very wrong.
I truly believe my mother has communicated with me. And that may make me a "kooky religious type". Things sometimes seem better when God is a paper dragon, segmented in his own area. You know, think about him on the Sabbath, and spend the other six days worrying about the affairs of men.
And I think I am wrong. Thanks, ~Deb, for posting this, for hiding my kookiness in your wonderful blog.