Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Yummy Amber, Cheetos and Mr. President

I read Amber's blog the other day, and one phrase got, as my grand-pappy would have said, caught in my craw: "yummy in bed." It is a rich phrase that is so descriptive and sexy, but I can also see a very shy girl saying this at work. It reminds me of someone eating an ice cream slowly, seductively, milking every ounce of pleasure out of those 820 calories. Okay, prata, 820 Calories. I always hated that calories and Calories, while the words looked the same, were exactly 999 calories apart. But if we used calories on Cheetos bags, we would all be staring at 160,000 calories – that is a heck of a lot of zeros for an ounce of artificial orange cheesy delight. Oh, crap, you probably figure I like Cheetoes now. Yeah, personal information like this is what you get here – notice that in the Playboy centerfolds (I have not seen one in 15 years so bear with me – or should it be bare with me?). Can you imagine one of the questions they ask playmates – what is your favorite snack food? I mean, the playmates or whoever writes for them would be trying to figure out suggestive food items. For example, a playmate may write "oh, ding dongs are my favorite. I just like to roll them around in my mouth, taking care not to get too much of the cream filling on my lips. Cream can be so messy."

Oh, where was I going with this. Oh, "yummy in bed" Amber. Not that I know if she is yummy in bed – I mean, no one has written me, describing a layover in Denver with this Amber chick, saying that she was delicious. From the blog, she seems nice – and her posts are entertaining/well written. Like Amber, however, I do get a few pieces of mail that cause one to scratch one's head. There is a guy who wanted worn panties of mine – and I am guessing it may have something to do with the header for the erotic blogs I link to, "Blogs that Dampen my Panties." It is not like I hermetically seal my panties in Zip Lock® bags if, by chance, they get a tad damp.

You know, I tell you that I am more than some skank, and my mind has been in the toilet all week. Well, not literally.

I am enjoying the world of podcasting. Who would think that people would for no pay or benefit, spend time and energy creating something to entertain strangers. Oh, doesn't that describe blogging as well? Ouch. I hate when reality hits me in the face.

Another random thought that has occurred to me today – well, it has occurred to me several days, on and off, for a while – why do I need to have Word Verification on my own blog? I mean, I understand the value of it on other blogs, but who in their right mind would place spam on their own blogs? And that's what Word Verification is all about, right? Protecting us from robots – spiders, whatever the heck they are – that are little programs going from page to page, posting comments like, "I said the same thing in my blog today. Come over to AutosRUs blog and get a great deal on a Chevy Tahoe."

Here is another scary thought – tens of thousands of people compete for American Idol each season, but only 20 or so people ever seriously compete to be the president of the United States every four years. And I wonder if more people follow and vote for American Idol than they do for president. Holy crap. Now I am scared. I think I will go now. Where did I put the Cheetos?

30 comments:

Giovanna said...

Leesa you crack me up.

I recall an interview Jon Stewart of The Daily Show did with either Clinton, or some famous senator etc. about how the process of beoming president is so difficult, esp the toil it takes on your family that we lose many quality people who choose to focus their talent, intelligence, and energy on other service careers to make a difference in the world. Not that that is bad per se, but yes, we end up with very few leaders of worth.

Video X said...

i love cheetos even if they make my fingers orange.

i dont get why i have to word verify on my own freaking blog either...one would think "they" would figure out that it's me if i'm logged in...

Edtime Stories said...

this was quite a stream of consciousness post. I loved it. Yes I believe people do care more about who wins the American Idol than the Presidency. And we wonder why we get up in the morning.

Mike said...

Did ya have to go public with the panty request?....lol....oh....I turned off the word verification feature a couple of months ago and have gotten very few spam comments since I did. I think blogger has done something to hinder the spam better then a few months ago.

Joe said...

I think my head is about to explode from all of the things you're forcing me to think about. A few things:

1. "Yummy in bed" is very, very cute, but it should never be used by a guy.
2. The word verification thing falls under the category of "blog" and "blogger" coming up as unknown words when you spell check your blog.
3. I think the American Idol contestants as a whole are more likeable than the Presidential candidates.

Amber said...

You know, I wouldn't mind AT ALL being called yummy in bed by someone I had actually been in bed with. It's the strangers saying that that is yucky. Not yummy. Also Joe is right -- no man should say yummy when describing a woman.

I love Cheetos. Especially the puffs. And I love American Idol right now because of the horrors of the audition shows. I thought I'd go with the stream of consciousness theme in my comment as well... : )

Denny Shane said...

Hi Leesa! I came here via LisaBinDaCity's excellent blog. I'm glad I did... I enjoyed reading your words and I'll be back.

Also, if you have time, feel free to come visit me anytime you want! And pay no attention to whatever Lisa says about me. ;)

Leesa said...

g: and then once you are elected, things just get worse. All except for the part about being the leader of the free world and getting oral in the Oval Office.

VX: I just wish Cheetos were a diet food.

ed: Just trying to copy Flannery O’Connor!

mike: I never knew your last name was Smith. By the way, sweets, your check bounced!

joe: Sadly, American Idol contestants may also be more capable than presidential candidates.

amber: are you propositioning me? Suggesting I taste you? Leesa fans self. It is getting hot in here. Normally only Mike and Joe and Ddot and ~Deb and . . . . get me hot. Crap, am I a slut today.

denny: I get "profile not available" when clicking on you. It was my first time on Lisa's site as well. I am actually from NSA and I am putting Lisa under surveillance. Ties to Bin Laden. LisaBinDa. Very curious.

Denny Shane said...

wow... I got the same thing Leesa... now I have to figure out how to correct it.

LisaBinDaCity said...

OY, under surveillance? Holy Cheetos Batman!

I just came over to say HI and that I liked your blog. Yummy in bed DOES sound fun and illicit by the by!

And fyi, It's Lisa B in Da City hehe.

*running away now*

P.S. Thanks Denny ;-)

~Deb said...

I’m going to start with your last paragraph. (Of course—right?) I think what Giovanna said hit it right on though. So I may be duplicating her words in a round-about way.

American Idols is fun to vote for. Voting for someone to be president is scary. Politicians lie all the time—don’t they? They even put the other opponent in such a negative light with their MILLION commercials asking you to vote for them---while they literally bash the other guy into the wall with mere words.

I went to the voting poll when the election was going on. It was between Bush and Kerry. I waited out in the foyer before I voted, so that my girlfriend could go first. A lady who worked there approached me and said, “I sure hope these people vote for the right person, because God knows---this war should be stopped! My son is there and it’s a sin to let this go on!”

She basically just told me to vote for Kerry. I didn’t say anything but—“I’m sure your son is doing a great job and he’ll be in my prayers. I respect anyone who goes into the military to fight for our country.” She was fishing around for who I was voting for.

I feel, if people go into the military—they should keep in mind that war is an absolute possibility. So is death. That’s why they’re considered to be heroes. They’re risking their lives for us! It was their decision to take that risk, which I am so grateful for. We’re in a holy war with the enemy—and hopefully the enemy doesn’t ‘sucker punch’ us again with a terrorist attack. I call that being a coward.

I walked over to the voting booth, and chose Bush.


Being yummy in bed---yes---it's been told to me, and I've said it back to a few 'good women'...

Wha? You thought I was gonna say 'a few good men'??? ;)

Loved your post today---I always enjoy reading everything you write!

Thanks for letting me blog on your blog. (That sounds obscene, doesn't it?)

ck_dexter_haven said...

May sound obscene but I'm sure I speak for all the guys when I say "Hmmmm thanks for the visual".

Edge said...

How can I be yummy in bed? Really, even if I wasn't would my wife just tell me I was? Hope not, I want to be yummy. Hot sweaty yummy. Yummy like a brazillion calories yummy.

Sorry, I got off track too. As far as the word verification, I have it to cut through spam. You can do mediating which means you let the ones you like out.

Loved your post ... YUMMY!

~ef

Girl Next Door said...

Would it be ok to vote for Simon for president?

GNDTX

Slut Betty said...

hehehe great post today Leesa (not like that surprises me)... enjoy your Cheetos ;-)

Leesa said...

denny: you are some kind of hacker, cracker, or super-computer spy, right? Just hacking your way through Blogger.com. Just kidding! I hope they fix you, not in the vet way.

lisa b: oh, I guess I can call off the spy games. I was just playing the part because of Just Walking. My turn and I hope I don't stink up the place.

~deb: I am just going to cut and paste what you wrote and have tomorrow's post ready. Actually, I read where Peanut Queen had her site stolen. Sorry, I don't have a link to her. And you can be obscene with me, Deb. I don't mind.

ck dexter: funny! Deb is great.

jef: thanks. It was fun to write.

GNDTX: You know, I almost did not get your comment. I have never watched the show, and if everyone was not talking about Simon, it would have gone over my head.

rose: thanks, sweetie. Doesn't orange fingers make you want to lick them? That's it; I am going to hit the showers.

Edtime Stories said...

Ah Flannery
I always liked the way she wrote about the south.....when I lived in Milledgeville I realized she was a lot like a reporter.

Buffy said...

Everytime I hear the word Cheetos I think of mono sodium glutamate and want to binge my face off and blame it on corporations!

Goddess said...

Putting dampened panties in a ziplock bag? *Raising eyebrows* What a wonderful Idea! Ha! It never ceases to amaze me how many things I do that other people think of! (And that they won't do themselves) Ha!

Of course, being serious, it is easier to vote for an American Idol than it is the President. So what if the Idol stinks after the show is over, you dont have to buy their album. But if you choose a stinky President, you may have to deal with his issues for the rest of your life.

Denny Shane said...

(crossing legs) the vet way? have no idea what you're talking about! ;)

Mike said...

So if the check bounced does that make us even?

Shannon said...

LOL I love cheetos!!! I never get any strange emails from bloggerland.. I feel unloved *Insert laugh*... I guess I am lucky!

Monica said...

One of my favorite monikers is-
"Yummy Mummy"
Those moms who in spite of having had children (usually hanging on to their thighs) seem to radiate that calm cool sexiness...not a whorey sexpot thing...but more like "you know she does it, cause she's got kids....and from looking at that smile...she liked it -a lot."

It's one of my goals.

~Deb said...

You're too funny!!! I can't believe you're gonna do that...




Runs and hides behind Mike...

~Deb said...

P.S. Obscene? I can? Hmm...

steff81 said...

Thanks for stopping by! I'm always glad to see new people dropping in. And yeah...I have a pretty cool mom.

Daniel said...

Well if it is any consolation, I am now Constitution-ally able to become president. And I would throw my hat in the ring and run for president, but I don't have a million dollars yet, so I guess I will have to wait.

Leesa said...

ed: the stories I could tell you about Auny Flannery! Such a wild aunt! Just kidding.

buffy: remind me not to offer you Ding Dongs, Twinkies, or other southern comfort refreshments.

goddess: can you mail them to Mike?

denny: Get's you right there, doesn't it?

mike: we were even until you wrote about showers and toilets in the same week.

shannon: There is such a thin line between sweet and slut, my dear. I think some of my correspondants seem to think I have crossed that line.

monica: I have never heard that before.

~deb: if I can ever remember the key combination for paste - copy is Cntl-C, so paste should be .... Crap.

steff: I was drunk when I made that post.

daniel: does that mean you are 35 years old? "constitution-ally able to become president"

Credit Dog said...

Funny for someone with an 80's hairstyle.

My member is actually a burnt orange color from combining two of my favorite pastimes.

Daniel said...

Yes it does (37 to be exact)