Friday, January 06, 2006

You are picturing her naked, aren't you?

I couple of days ago, I wrote about Muse, and Pieces congratulated her on her winning Bloggin' Hottie of the Month for December in the comments to that day's post. Classy move from a classy lady. My response to Pieces was: "knowing my hubbie, you would be his wet dream; really! So stay away from Savannah, please. And you are a hottie, sweetie! Darned you!"

Sort of a smart ass comment, but I meant it. I have been with my hubbie long enough to know what kinds of women get his engines running. People who have been in long committed relationships probably know who their mates are attracted to. It is just part of being a couple (married, living together, straight, gay, whatever).

I remember having a conversation about what turns hubbie on years before we were married. And his answer told me nothing: "I like breasts." Thanks, sweetie. So enlightening.

Over the years, consciously or somewhat unconsciously, I began to notice what types of women turned his head. A woman can tell when her man (or woman?) checks someone out while having you on his arm. And lucky for me, most of the woman he looked at were similar to me – brunette, short, not huge breasts (thank goodness!), more cute than sexy – but can be sexy. Young face, looks fresh, nice smile – not sure if I can nail this down. But if you wander over to Pieces, it is just like she looks. Hubbie never told me this, but over time, I figured it out.

Earlier this year – well, technically last year, last summer – we were at an end-of-summer work picnic for my hubbie's work. By the way, a little rant: why do employers want people to spend their free time with co-workers? I never go to anything at my work (hubbie is more of a bread-winner), but we go to hubbie's because of the politics involved. I admit I sometimes want to know what people look like so when hubbie is telling his stories, I can picture the cast.

Okay, so we are at this summer picnic. You know, where you reserve a place at a park, play volleyball (or horseshoes or whatever), eat food that potentially will make you sick, and chat about nothing of substance.

I had noticed my hubbie' "checking her out" (wife of a co-worker) stare a few times, and I went over to where he was, and I whispered in his ear: "You are picturing her naked, aren't you?"

I just wanted to let him know he was busted.

He gave me a little laugh – and I can tell his laughs. I know he wanted it to sound like the "you are full of crap" laugh, but it was the nervous "how can I mitigate the damages" laugh.

When I was younger, I would get mad. But I have figured out that men are visual creatures. He was not picking her instead of me, but she stirred something in him. She was his wet dream that day. And another rant: why don't women have wet dreams when they are in adolescence? It is sort of a rip off, boys get to virtually screw girls in their dreams, and it is so real that they have an orgasm, and girls "get their periods." How fair is that?

Now that I am older, I know my hubbie better, and he looks because he is a guy. Muse is gorgeous – and I know she turns lots of heads. My hubbie would never give her a second glance (unless he were in NY and she was naked in a window). But his eyes would follow Pieces' face, her chest, and watch her ass as she walked down the street. And why I am still a bit jealous (uncontrollably), I no longer get mad at hubbie.

So even if he does picture the co-worker's wife naked, he is coming home with me. He loves me, and I understand that is work – he spends energy in loving me. And that gives me pause to smile, and love him even when his eyes occasionally wander.


Pieces of Me said...

Hey girl!!
Great post...I dont know why I would turn heads but that was really nice of you to say! I hope to visit Savannah because I heard it is so beautiful and I am so I will let you know LOL just kidding...Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your hubby!! And I am sure when you aren't looking he is checking you out as you described he would be checking others...I hope you have a wonderful day and thanks again for the nice words..mwah!

Grant said...

"Darned you?" What the feck does that mean? :p

If his wandering eye ever does bug you, just do a quick impromptu belly dance to draw his attention to back to you. Or be the first woman to ever point at your chest and say "Hey, buddy, down here. Quit looking at my face."

Goddess said...

Leesa, you nailed it right on the head. I remember I dated this guy, (1SG Bond, actually) who told me, "hey, I am visual. I need visual stimulation. So show me something, little vixen!" We went out to a bar once, and there was this cute, bubbly little thing floating all over the place, and he looked, well, gawked, I would call it, but then again, I was really jealous. But in the end it really did not matter, because I was the one who went home with him, I am the one who still has a friendship with him. She was in and out of his mind within the night, but I have managed to stay there for years.

Joe said...

Another great post, Leesa.

It's so great to read about people who are so secure that they can be honest about looking, not get jealous, and realize that even if they do look it means absolutely nothing.

Shannon said...

All men look... it's nature.. and we women look too!! =).. I use to be blonde, not that way anymore.. just some blonde high-lights now but I love my burnette locks... you tend to stick out in a crowd more, just something about a dark haired beauty!! You and your husband seem so right for each-other, very refreshing to see.. @@! =)

Ray in New Orleans said...

Boys only have wet dreams if they haven't found any other release; it's the ejaculation of last resort. Once they discover masturbation, the wet dreams stop.

I only had one wet dream, when I was 12. Figured out what jacking off was about three days later. And the rest is, er, history.

Georgiapeach said...

Girl this post was so true! Everything. My boyfriend likes women who look like Seriously. Small breasts, curvacious hips, big buts, and a flat stomach. Make-up and expensive clothes. Totally opposite as me. But they have to be light-skinned. Yes, he is shallow, which sickens me. Thank goodness, that those women don't give him any play, which is alright with

Matt said...

Wow, Leesa, sounds like your husband and I share a type...

And your topic served as muse for my blog today...

You're on a roll!

Leesa said...

pieces: yeah, I just noticed that you are also in Georgia. I sure hope he has not been staring at your breasts!

grant: yeah, I know. I don't curse much.

goddess: if I guy told me he needed "visual stimulation," I would reply in private that I need clitoral stimulation, preferably with the tongue.

joe: I was not that secure at 21 (or 25, for that matter)

shannon: yeah, I look but not nearly as often. Unless the guy is built, in a Speedo, and I can make out his thingie! Then I look every time.

ray: I did not know that.

GP: My hubbie always says he like breasts, but I know he likes small breasts. Not sure why.

matt: I am honored by your post.

pantylines said...

that is so awesome that you realize that we are visual creatures and that is par for the course.....and the security of knowing that you are the one he is going home with is just awesome to me. I wish all women could figure this out

The Seeker said...

You and Pieces both fit my 'profile'. lol Moira Kellyish, Vanessa Marcil (Las Vegas), Lara Flynn Boyle (the non anorexic years), Neve Campbell, etc... When I see a woman that matches this 'look', I can't help but look, it's a compulsion.

My favorite girlfriend from the past in one respect was a woman that was Bi. She used to point out hot women to me. We actually used that in our sex too, but never got close to acting it out or bringing in a third person.

Rob said...

I'm glad you understand why I always picture YOU naked when I stop by here to read your blog, Leesa! ;-)

Leesa said...

pantylines: thanks.

seeker: half the names on your list are foreign to me. Well, I only know Ms. Campbell, actually. Guess I am a bit sheltered.

rob: yeah, I could tell by the way you stare!

Edge said...

Leesa: I'm becoming a big fan! In only a couple of posts!

You got men down to a science. Visually oriented, "wet dream for the day". It comes and goes, we don't dwell or develop feelings!

On wet dreams. Mmmm, ya guess the getting the dream is great, but the embarrssment after might equal your periods. Women can have "wet dreams" see incubus and sucubus on google.

In closing, if more wives/husbands knew what you know about pleasing their wives/husbands and studying them, this world would be a better place.

Sorry for the long comment.