Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Phrases that Bug Me

This is a light, fun post. You know, I wonder if Jesus ever said to his Disciples, "Listen, boys, I know I am making you work extra hard talking about the Trinity, or salvation, or whatever, let's say we just go fishing today."

Not that I would compare myself to a saint, let alone the Son of God, but sometimes when I post more reflective posts for a while, I want to take a breather. Know what I mean? It's like when your hubbie has satisfied you a few times (and in various ways) in one evening, and you have to say, "Let's just take a break for a little while. I am getting a little tender."

Today I want to prattle about phrases that bug me.

"To tell you the truth"
This signals to me someone who doesn't always tell the truth. It doesn't matter what follows, I always make a mental note – this person is a liar. But he is a courteous liar, as he is informing me when he is truthful. But then I wonder, can I believe this? Even if I am not wondering this consciously, I believe the unconscious makes these leaps. Not a good phrase to use when interviewing.

"What are you thinking?"
Okay, I will admit it. I use this phrase when talking to hubbie. At first, I thought it was fuller. But the more I think about it, what I am really saying is "I want to talk to you, please make noise and I will start yammering about what interests me." At least that is what ends up happening.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but"
When has anyone ever said "I don't mean to interrupt" and meant it. Yes, you mean to interrupt, and you are being quite effective at doing it. I think what you meant to say is "pardon me." Please notice that saying "pardon me" is more concise and does not paint you a freakin' liar.

"I don't mean to pry, but"
Okay, this is sort of like the above phrase – except this phrase seems to be said by family members. Do family members get a free pass at prying? Heck yes, in my family. My mother-in-law uses this phrase, and if she could have her way, she would attach strings on my arms, legs and mouth. I would be a marionette, because she knows more about her boy than I do.

He is not a mamma's boy, but he generally doesn't want to hurt mamma's feelings. I get that. But I feel like if she could, she would tell me how to cook, clean, and freaking lay her son. And I am a darned good cook! [Just for grins, raise your hand if you thought I was going to say I was a darned good lay?]

"I hate to tell you."
Okay, this is for us women. Some of us are gossips. And real gossips "hate to tell us" but she saw so and so flirting with our man. What the gossip means to say is "I want to tell you because I want to get your reaction" or "I have got some gossip."

I have started saying, in response to "I hate to tell you", "please don't then." And the person's face nearly turns blue (or purple) because the person needs to get the dirt out in the open. Okay, when I worked at a mostly-girl organization, I was a big time gossip. I enjoyed knowing about so-and-so's financial problems, that so-and-so's son got kicked out of school, or anything involving dripping body parts touching other people's body parts. But this really poisons the soul. You just feel bad. So I don't do it anymore (or seldom), and when you interrupt someone to say you are not interested anymore, people stop trying to spread gossip through you.

When people tell you something you think they shouldn't, stop and think, "This person believes that I will not think less of them because I will not call them on the carpet." Others think I am this type of person – and do I really want to be that way? I know I don't.

Crap, I started this out light, and here I am preaching again. Well, if you want to read something more interesting, click on this.

Oh, I just thought of some sagely advice (I am sure someone else has said it, but I have not read it, so this is semi-original):

Leesa Original Quotation: All hyperlinks lead to porn.


Video X said...

haha! how very right. i got in a TERRIBLE habit of starting of things with "frankly,..." even annoys me. i have been trying to stop. not really a phrase, but it's along the same lines as your truth one up there for me. i was saying it all the time.

every single one of those phrases is really quite annoying. (is/are...damn what's the agreement there?)

Giovanna said...

Randomness, but keeping with the lightheartness and porn theme, I love the header "Blogs that dampen my panties." It has such a great alliterative quality, not to mention the graphic imagery it incites.

mal said...

the one that does me is "you know" !@#$@ it! If I know, why tell me? If I don't know then I don't know and you are wrong...arrrrgggghhhh

of course one of the reasons it bugs it it took me some effort to break myself of saying it

mojo k o'yote said...

"trust me............"

kathi said...

Some that really bother me, 'hello' and 'mom', but that's just cause I'm in a bad mood.
One that does irritate me is 'how are you today' when you answer the phone and it's a telemarketer.
Another one is 'you know?' I have a friend that asks that after every sentence. Sometimes I say 'not really' just to see if she's listening, you know? :)

Giovanna said...

every single one of those phrases is really quite annoying. (is/are...damn what's the agreement there?)

Oh, and based on "Woe is I" by Patricia O'Conner (who is much easier to understand than Strunk and White) the subject of that sentence simplifed would appear to be "all of the phrases" which would suggest the plural verb form, "are".

This grammar lesson brought to you by the letter "A".

Joe said...

Now I'm afraid to comment for fear of incurring Giovanna's wrath.

I hate it when people say "My only concern is" and follow it up with a laundry list of issues. However, from now on I think I'll just say "I believe you meant to say 'My only concerns are...'"

Robb said...

You raise some very good points. When I say "To tell you the truth...", what I really mean is "I'm not going to spare your feelings..."

Shannon said...

LOL adorable post.. There is alot of truth to it! I hate when anyone says "Trust Me"...that usally means.. "I am about to lie to you".. or "To make a long story short".. Ohhhh ughhhhh, it's NEVER SHORT!! lol

Edtime Stories said...

these are great, there are so many phrases that can be annoying because we are trying to be psuedo-polite.

I'm just if that makes anything you say somehow free of judgement.

Thanks leesa, this was a fun diversion in my day. I really like your mind.

BTW, I have to work harder to get on the damp panty blog list. ;)

Giovanna said...

Oh come on Joe, I was just trying to be helpful. Anyway my wrath might be fun. :p

Leesa said...

vx: thanks. Another phrase that annoys me: "Is that cum in your hair?" Just joking!

g: thanks - I have toyed with deleting that section ("blogs that dampen ..."), but I like the phrase as well. When I get busy, like recently, my panties tend to be dry!

mallory: I agree completely.

yote: Not wise to trust a coyote.

kathi: "you know" seems regional. Very Midwest, as I recall.

g: Thanks, Ms. E B White!

joe: The next time someone says, "My only concern," could you interrupt and say, "Pick one, please." If you don't Shrank and White's ghosts will haunt you.

robb: "I am going to spare your feelings" Another good one that means, "I am going to trample over your heart."

shannon: With you, it is probably, "Trust me, babe, I have been tested."

ed: I have not updated the "panties" links in ages. Two on the list comment sometimes.

g: "wrath" is such a wonderful word.

Prata said...

I say trust me all the time in my job. I have to. When someone doesn't have first hand experience with something and you tell them this is the way it works even though it clashes with their rudimentary understanding of how the machine or application actually functions...they have to trust what I say is true. Otherwise, they won't do it. Then...they wonder why it doesn't work. Then..I have to explain it all over again. So..ehh.

Phrases that bother me:

"you people" (wtf)

"those people" (in the broad sweeping sense)

"bless you" (wtf??)

One of my favorite phrases:

"pwned." (0wn3d) (owned) (game term)

Goddess said...

You know, whenever I ask a male, "What are you thinking", I think I am really saying, "Tell me how much you adore me!" Instead of just saying, "Tell me how much you adore me!" My mother says "you know" after everything, and it gets really irritating, and I end up going, "YES MOM, I KNOW, CONTINUE WITH THE STORY!" Cause it takes her 30 minutes to get to the point of a 3 minute story. Tangents get her everytime!

Leesa said...

prata: so if you sneeze, you don't want anyone to say, "bless you."

goddess: you and me both. I love "Tell me how much you adore me." That is so true.

Byron said...

a very nice blog today Leesa



Stacy-Deanne said...

Hi Leesa,

What doesn't make sense to me is when you're asleep and someone taps you repeatedly, wakes you up then goes, " Sorry, were you asleep? " I'm like, " No I was just closing my eyes for eleven hours until you woke me because I had nothing better to do. " LOL! It's like some people don't actually think before they speak. It's just like when a group of people stand at an elevator and some idiot walks up and pushes the button like none of those other people thought to do that. Sometimes you want to smack people, LOL!

SCH said...

OK I'm a shmuck. I guess I'm the only one who raised their hand! Hehe. Fun comments though today.

~Deb said...

How funny Leesa!

The phrase I hate the most is:

"You wanna know the truth??? Do you really wanna know the truth???"

No! F*cking lie to me you nimrod!

I loved these sayings that you posted. The one saying that I do all the time, is---"Not for nuttin', but...." I think it's an Italian thing.

"What are you thinking?" Usually comes from the women. Being that I'm a lesbian---too many of my ex's always use that line- including my girlfriend now. It's like, "Can I have a mind of my own???? Do you have to invade that as well????"

This raised my blood pressure a tad, I gotta hop off your blog for a few minutes.

*taking deep breath*

Monica said...

How 'bout
"I could care less"

okay, first of all, if you could "care less" that means you at least care a little, so you're not even making the point you're trying to make, and second- if it's important to mention, it's something you're at least slightly invested in. Stupid heads.


KyuBall said...

"I'm going to be honest with you..."-Why? Have you been lying to me for the last 20 minutes?

"I hear what you're saying, but..."
- I wasn't listening.

"The only problem with that..."- and by "only" I mean: I will continually shoot holes in your idea until you give it up and go with mine. (I'm guilty of this one.)

moebugge said...

my creative child mind inside of me always whispers- " i shall do as you do not as you say; there in lies the truth":

The Truth is = my truth is and if you want to be on the good side of me you will also adopt it otherwise i will banish you to freezing hell.

What are you thinking? = I just felt "The door" shut on me. Where are you going? Do you love me enough that I may follow you into your closet/cave full of bones? Do you trust me not to tell or to use it against you in the future?

I do not mean to interrupt BUT; I dont mean to pry BUT ; I hate to tell you BUT = Whatever follows the butt normally negates what precedes it!
N'est pas?

Joe said...

Oh, and the other phrase that bugs me is "Leesa didn't post anything yet today"

You're the sole reason I look forward to coming to work in the morning.

Leesa said...

byron: thanks.

dtacy-deanne: you get to sleep for 11 hours? Not sure if you are married, but when you are married and hubbie says, "sweetie, are you asleep?" it means, "I am a horney guy and I just woke up."

sch: at least you did not answer retorical questions in front of a whole class.

~deb: sometimes I want people to lie to me.

monica: interesting, I never thought of it that way before.

kueball: thanks for the additions.

moebugge: agree totally about the BUT

joe: sorry. Traffic was a bear today.

Barney said...

What are you thinking?
I dont mean to interrupt but please forgive me when i say i dont mean to pry and i hate to tell tell you the truth that is...but youre ranting!..LOL

Hell, i guess were all guilty of using at least one of these at some time our other, usually said without thinking as a cover for saying nothing at all during a conversation, i know ive used a couple of those...yes, im a very bad man *hangs head in shame* ;-)

Edge said...

All hyperlinks lead to porn ... hmmm ... I bet they do.


Leesa said...

michael: how does rose stand you?

jef: I want to trademark that phrase.

Barney said...

LMAO...Rose is an expert at the "Cyberslap" ;-)

Lillie said...

From a TV ad: "100% real cheese"
Compared to...?