I want to buy a piece of furniture – a new desk. I know exactly what I want, and that is the problem. We don't buy furniture often – the last piece of furniture we purchased was years ago. I really don't know when we bought it. Anyway, I want a desk, but not just any desk.
We went desk shopping this weekend. Hubbie was so patient, but that was due to the fact that the US Open was being played, and nearly every furniture store we went to had a little waiting area with a television with golf playing and many husbands huddled around the broadcasted image. Not sure any child would have been able to put a Barney tape in the VCH without several dads intervening. The bacteria-infected blocks and other toys were enough to entertain the little snot-monsters.
Oh, and I want a little snot-monster. But only after I get my desk.
As it turns out, I want a traditional desk. That means, I would like the desk to be made of wood. Actual wood. Apparently most desks on the market look like they are made of wood, but on closer inspection, you see they are made of wood and particle board. I think they call it something else – composite or something – but it looks like what we used to call particle board.
Like I said, I rarely buy furniture, so I figure since I am not buying something but every 20 or so years, I might as well spend a little more coin and get a really nice desk. And I can't do it if I want a new desk. At least not in Savannah.
I go down the highway, and I see trees everywhere. Lots of freekin' trees, just standing there swaying slightly in the wind. These trees are not doing a darned thing, and what I can't figure out is why people are not making nice desks out of these trees. I am not suggesting cutting down all trees for my desk, but I am sure a desk takes less than a tree. And I am not even suggesting cutting down a 100-year-old oak or huge magnolia for my desk (do they ever make anything out of magnolia wood?). I just want a big fat yellow pine. Well, if an oak tree was sick and dying, I would not be apposed to someone cutting it down and putting it out of its misery.
I mean, people burn oak in fireplaces. Why can't they make a desk out of the material? Stuff like this keeps me up at night.
I know, I will have to figure out how to buy an old desk – probably pre-1960s, when desks were made out of hemp. Well, I could have gotten this wrong – I got my facts from an old hippie, so he may have not been all there during the 1960s. Well, he was all there, and that may make some of his statements a little impared.
I just noticed that the "Highlight" button on my MS Word looks different. I think there was a patch to fix lots of security holes, but it looks like they may have also spruced up some of the buttons. I wonder if I will be able to highlight more efficiently in MS Word. Come to think of it, do I ever highlight in MS Word. Perhaps I should start.
Still, highlighting would be much more enjoyable in a real wooden desk.
Guest Post by Joseph Luzzi, author of IN A DARK WOOD
20 hours ago