Murderess Leesa

I crossed the line this morning. I went from model citizen to murderess in a few seconds. I mean, I did not mean to do it. It all happened so fast. My hands are still trembling, my heart is beating fast, and all I can think is that I am a murderess.

Sure, the US and Iraqi governments took out Abu Musab al-Zarqawi the other day – it took months of planning, tons of intelligence and what not, and I murdered in the matter of seconds.

You see, I was driving to work this morning and hit a squirrel. Sure, some of you probably are thinking, "Yeah, well I swerve towards squirrels." Okay, perhaps you do, but I most certainly don't. And the squirrel's death was much more tragic than running over him. I was avoiding some traffic, cutting through some neighborhoods. Well, there are these beautiful trees and all, and I actually saw the squirrel on a wire over the road. As I was approaching the wire, the squirrel fell – and it all happened in slow motion. I did not swerve to miss the furry little creature, mostly because I don't want my tombstone to read, "Leesa died, so that a squirrel may live."

I smashed his cute little skull with my windshield, and it actually left a little red mark on my car. I want to tell you how I stopped, cradled the squirrel in my arms, soothing his sore head, him looking at me as if to say, "I have lead a good life, and I am prepared to die." Instead, however, I just drove on, shaken, but also a bit late for work.

I mean, I know the California Angels beat the Tampa Bay Devil Rays on 6-6-06, and that good should triumph over evil, but I could imagine Satan flicking the little squirrel with his pinkie finger, grinning widely.

The good news is that my resume can now contain the accomplishment: "Snuffed out the life of a creature that was in the way." True statement and it might give pause to someone who was thinking of giving me a bad performance evaluation, or a boss who was trying to cut in line at the coffee shop.

On a not-so-similar note, I found it funny that Dani wrote a piece on ~Deb's site. It sort of reminded me of someone volunteering to get in a wet potato sack so that others could beat them for their own amusement. I know ~Deb did not mean it that way, but from the sidelines, that's how it looked. I am not linking to Dani's site, not because I don't agree with her viewpoint but because she just is not that good of a writer, and you can click on her site from ~Deb's site.