~Deb's Chest Confuses Me

The other day, I mentioned something about women wearing t-shirts that had "stop staring at my chest" sayings, and how silly it is, since, well, to get the message, you have to stare and their chest. And unlike a very readable billboard, most of these ladies do not provide flat surfaces in which to communicate their visual communication.

In the comments, ~Deb mentions something about one of her favorite shirts was "WWJD", but her left nipple seemed to look more like a period on the shirt, so she stopped wearing it. No, that was not what she said. She told a story about how she was wearing a "USA" t-shirt once, and how some guy came up to her and said something like, "I like your vowels." I would like to point out two things concerning this story: (1) it would have mortified me, and I too, would have never worn the shirt again, and (2) the guy had to hear that line from somewhere else. It takes thought and knowing the difference between consonants and vowels, and I think we can all agree that most men have neither of those traits.

Well, yesterday I saw a t-shirt on a guy with a college emblem. I actually did not know the college at the time, it was a U with an I inside of it. I first thought "University of Iowa," but then considered that Indiana, Illinois and several other states that I memorized when I was in the fifth grade all started with I and probably had universities as well. Turns out, it is Indiana University. You can click on the hyperlink to see what I mean. Well, the first thing I thought was "that symbol looks phallic to me." I should say, that symbol should look phallic to anyone who has seen, sucked, taken a picture of, or buried it into the core of her being. You get the idea. So here this guy has this big red penis on his shirt, and he has no idea.

The other thing I thought was that there are a crapload of states that have either "IU" or "U of I" designations for their schools. And Indiana is confusing the fact by placing the I and U in alignment. You get no clue as to what university you are talking about. But this is the first time I have seen the shirt in this part of the world, which leads me to falsely assume: (1) they don't graduate a bunch of people, or (2) the ones who graduate are not proud of being associated with the school. Okay, the graduation may be off, because I googled it, and it seems that enrollment in their 8 campuses is about 98,545. If even a fraction of these graduate, that is a lot of people with these logos on their chests. They must be embarrassed or sick of people asking where Indiana is on the map. Heck, around here, some people think it is a province in Canada. I could have told the guy I was sad about Edmonton loosing in the Stanley Cup – heck, Canada is just one frozen wasteland, right? With Indiana somewhere in the middle? That's why they play in the Big 10 – only Canadian school to be in the NCAA – a little-known fact, dear readers.

I know, I know, someone is going to comment that Indiana has a lot of big and important cities in it, including Chicago. Well, all I have to say is that some of us think Chicago is in Illinois – but no one is sure exactly. Unless you live in Chicago; then you just have to check where you pay your taxes to. Well, let me get out of here before I alienate both the Canadians living in Indiana and the folks living in the Windy City. I would make fun of Iowa as well, but I can't spell the state!