Wednesday, June 21, 2006

~Deb's Chest Confuses Me

The other day, I mentioned something about women wearing t-shirts that had "stop staring at my chest" sayings, and how silly it is, since, well, to get the message, you have to stare and their chest. And unlike a very readable billboard, most of these ladies do not provide flat surfaces in which to communicate their visual communication.

In the comments, ~Deb mentions something about one of her favorite shirts was "WWJD", but her left nipple seemed to look more like a period on the shirt, so she stopped wearing it. No, that was not what she said. She told a story about how she was wearing a "USA" t-shirt once, and how some guy came up to her and said something like, "I like your vowels." I would like to point out two things concerning this story: (1) it would have mortified me, and I too, would have never worn the shirt again, and (2) the guy had to hear that line from somewhere else. It takes thought and knowing the difference between consonants and vowels, and I think we can all agree that most men have neither of those traits.

Well, yesterday I saw a t-shirt on a guy with a college emblem. I actually did not know the college at the time, it was a U with an I inside of it. I first thought "University of Iowa," but then considered that Indiana, Illinois and several other states that I memorized when I was in the fifth grade all started with I and probably had universities as well. Turns out, it is Indiana University. You can click on the hyperlink to see what I mean. Well, the first thing I thought was "that symbol looks phallic to me." I should say, that symbol should look phallic to anyone who has seen, sucked, taken a picture of, or buried it into the core of her being. You get the idea. So here this guy has this big red penis on his shirt, and he has no idea.

The other thing I thought was that there are a crapload of states that have either "IU" or "U of I" designations for their schools. And Indiana is confusing the fact by placing the I and U in alignment. You get no clue as to what university you are talking about. But this is the first time I have seen the shirt in this part of the world, which leads me to falsely assume: (1) they don't graduate a bunch of people, or (2) the ones who graduate are not proud of being associated with the school. Okay, the graduation may be off, because I googled it, and it seems that enrollment in their 8 campuses is about 98,545. If even a fraction of these graduate, that is a lot of people with these logos on their chests. They must be embarrassed or sick of people asking where Indiana is on the map. Heck, around here, some people think it is a province in Canada. I could have told the guy I was sad about Edmonton loosing in the Stanley Cup – heck, Canada is just one frozen wasteland, right? With Indiana somewhere in the middle? That's why they play in the Big 10 – only Canadian school to be in the NCAA – a little-known fact, dear readers.

I know, I know, someone is going to comment that Indiana has a lot of big and important cities in it, including Chicago. Well, all I have to say is that some of us think Chicago is in Illinois – but no one is sure exactly. Unless you live in Chicago; then you just have to check where you pay your taxes to. Well, let me get out of here before I alienate both the Canadians living in Indiana and the folks living in the Windy City. I would make fun of Iowa as well, but I can't spell the state!


Heather said...

I agree.. that does look an awful lot like a gigantic red penis.. hmmmm...

maybe we just have penis' on the brain?

Edtime Stories said...

okay I live in Indiana and we in the Midwest can tell the difference. But coming from Georgia that names its schools Georgia College & State University I would be careful picking on us. The fighting ampersands can't really hold a candle to the Hoosiers.

Actually I am a northeast transplant so does really give a fig but I always thought the IU symbole was a bit sexual, I mean Kinsey work at IU.

GirlGoyle said...

I've sucked it, burried it, licked it and handled it and I can assure you it didn't look anything like that. Humm....

Girl Next Door said...

I have a friend who graduated from Texas Tech and their symbol is a double "T". Like this. He gets the, "You have a little 'tee tee' on your shirt," comment now and then.


TrappedInColorado said...

Was this a "men are stupid and don't know the difference between vowels and consonants" post? I will have you know that my bowels are constant most of the time and I know the difference!

sjblogger said...

Considering the fact that I have a college degree in English I spent four hard working years learning my vowels. Thank you very much! Well learning my vowels and coming up with lines like, "I like your vowels"!

But my time was spent at MU. Also in the Midwest.

Mark said...

It never ocurred to me that it was phallic. I always thought it looked a bit like a trident. I tell ya, you have penis on the brain, girl...

Grant said...

It doesn't look phallic to me - the first thing I thought of was the devil's pitchfork. You obviously have penis on the brain, whereas I see the complete and unaffected truth.

And you'll never see me wearing a DeVry t-shirt. Even if it wasn't a crap school, I don't believe in paying that much to advertise their bloody institution.

Pittchick said...

I'm going to go with the pitchfork as well. Doesn't really look phallic to me. Maybe I've been sucking the wrong penises...

Leesa said...

heather: yeah, I know.

ed: I did not realize you were Canadian. But I know about Georgia schools. I mean, who makes a dog your mascot?

girlgoyle: "artistic license" with regards to the image.

GND: I was going to make fun of the Texas people, but decided to hold off.

trapped: you are the perfect example of a man.

sgblogger: another one of those "there are a bunch of M-word states" types of colleges. Is MU, Mizzula U?

mark: guilty as charged.

grant: A pitchfork. That's what I meant to write.

dna: okay, I am going to sit in my corner.

cadbury_vw said...

i actually got challenged by one woman about staring at her ass at the gym

she had a whole write-up about being a sassy girl or some such shit

she turned and snapped "and what are you looking at?"

i was put on the spot for a few seconds and sort of stammered a bit, until i recovered

i'm pleased to report that my response was "I'm sorry, I was just reading your ass"

her friend thought this was so funny she burst into peals of laughter and the lady challenging me just sort of glared, and said "Asshole!" and walked away

i did not look at her ass as she did so...

Prata said...

If you don't want someone to look at a particular part of you..then don't put flippin' words on it. If you put words on it...stfu and let people look. Wenches.

And I'm fairly certain I can tell the difference between a god damned vowel and a fuckin' consonant. I am not however too well versed in fuckin' vowels and god damned consonants...I hear they are similar but have some very distinct qualities which differentiate them from one another.

But I suppose it is this quality that has kept women out of power in most countries...oh..oops..^_^

Mark said...

Leesa -- you want the Ball State t-shirt... that's in Indiana, too. Or maybe the French Lick Community College (ok, I don't know if they have one there, but imagine the fun).

Monica said... in Iowa is fun when you visit other areas of the country.
I get-
"Are you near Cleveland?"
"Oh--the potato state!"
"Iowa--where is that? Near Colorado?"
"What do you grow on your farm?"

That's okay---keeps stupid people from finding the state and moving here.

Leesa said...

cadbury: funny story. I guess if the writing was in braille as well, you could have felt her ass as well.

prata: are you angry at something?

mark: oh, I didn't even think of that. Is it the Oregon State Beavers?

Monica: sometimes stupid people get lost and just settle in the state. Or so I have heard. That's how we have some in Georgia - the Atlantic Ocean is in the way and they just stopped here.

Prata said...

I could possibly be angry. But it's more like I'm under a lot of pressure and it's bleeding into my typically dry (not funny) sarcastic humor. Sorry!

It was all happy happy joy joy meant. ^_^

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Nice vowels. I love it.

Rob said...

Reminds me of my "ex" who graduated from
University of

And I was never sure why lawmen in the south always gave me a hard time when I would wear a sweatshirt from my alma mater:
University of
Institute of

Now, let's review Leesa's fascination with Deb's chest... ;-)

kathi said...

I went to college at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana and all our shirts said Ball U. :) I'd forgotten about that.

Leesa said...

prata: I love the Queen song, "Under Pressure." Play that while dancing nakkid in your living room. It should help.

lightning: thanks, not my words.

rob: you love playing with vowels, don't you?

kathi: funny!

Rob said...

Among other things, yes I have been known to play with a few vowels in my day! You inspire me to play, Leesa! ;-)

~Deb said...

And you always tell me I reference to the phallic symbol often! My USA shirt was worn again, because I guess I loved the attention...but I was trying to get the attention of other females. Hmm...never works out in my favor.

mal said...

not to worry, us Minnesotans make more than enough fun of Iowa.