Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Randomness Part 27

Okay, I just made that number up. Every once in a while I just put some random thoughts together to "clean house." This is not one of those times.

Visitor Statistics
I just passed 30,000 visitors earlier this week. What I find interesting is that the number of pages visited has increased to a little over 2 pages per visit. I get sitemeter's e-mail message weekly but really don't pay too much attention to it. Guess I am a little busy right now because I used to look at those weekly reports all of the time, and I have not really looked at them for . . . I can't remember when. I don't blog for eyeballs glued to my site. It is flattering when I am down, sort of like eating creamy ice cream – makes one feel better but does not solve any problems.

Speaking of stats, this is Kat's 100th post. Okay, I don't really know much about Kat, other than she has her tongue pierced. Okay, you know I love to give good head, but I am not going to pierce my tongue to enhance the experience.

Site note here: language is so interesting. Did you notice what I did? I inferred that Kat got her tongue pierced to give better blow jobs, but I did not explicitly say that's why she did it. Oh, how I love language. But she is probably a really nice person, has a nice life, and sooner or later, she will be popping Prozac. Just need more life experiences.

Bored, Bored, Bored
I noticed that Mike is taking a break. Just needs some time away from blogging. And I miss that "no picture" guy. I mean, his broken link to his picture bugs the crap out of me, but he visits my site early. And I visit his site.

I am bored with my site as well – that's why my entries have been sub-par. I mean, the writing is still okay, but the subject matter sort of sucks. Either that, or I am just sort of blah, and I can't see my blog for what it is worth. Not sure what I will blog about tomorrow. Was thinking of doing something a little different, but let's see.

Writing
You know, I started this because I like to write. I don't always have something to say, but I enjoy writing. Well, I came across the following (below) the other day, and I nearly peed myself laughing. Oh, how I love language. I have never had an orgasm because of words alone, but if it is physically possible, I may one day do this! I just love language that much.


Grammar Made Easy in Twenty-Three Steps or How to Rite Rite
(Author Unknown)

1.Don't abbrev.
2.Check to see if you any words out.
3.Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
4.About sentence fragments.
5.When dangling, don't use participles.
6.Don't use no double negatives.
7.Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
8.Just between you and I, case is important.
9.Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
10.Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
11.Its important to use apostrophe's right.
12.It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
13.Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.
14.Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should begin with a capital and end with a period
15.Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.
16.In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.
17.Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.
18.Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
19.Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
20.A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
21.Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.
22.A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.
23.Avoid cliches like the plague.

23 comments:

Mike said...

See what happens when ya mention the "no face" guy....he pays you a visit.

Leigh said...

LMAO.... You know orgasm is all mind over matter, you should be able to do it with language alone. Hmmm something to try hehee...

Have a great day.

Ddot the King said...

I love writing too Leesa although I'm not sure how good I really am since I break all those How to Rite Rite rules every time I post something!

I know how it is to feel blah about blogging. Maybe you should do another short story or maybe even a series. Whatever you write I'll read it anyway. :)

Leesa said...

mike: I wish you could place a pic, any pic, at http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4370/561/1600/me.jpg

Even the Brazilian lass I posted in my last post!

leigh: it is mostly mind over matter.

ddot: I like the way you write, but I also love what you write. Maybe I will write something tomorrow.

~Deb said...

This was an array of fun stuff! Umm, as far as the tongue piercing deal and better bj's, let me just say one thing... I HATED it when my ex had her tongue pierced. Not good. It's annoying. For men it may be different.

As far as Mikey---that X'd out picture had me baffled. I'm gonna miss him..........but I think he'll be around to bug us. I think anyone who has a blog gets a little burned out from time to time. Then you just lose it and start spewing sexually explicit things like I did on Dani's blog. Makes for great fun! That's when you know you're extremely bored!

Pittchick said...

I like the list. Nothing wrong with a little randomness here and there!

mal said...

I like ending my sentences with prepositions, its the only way I know where I am at.

Heather said...

LOL.. according to the 23 step Grammar thing my blog is very most good to grammar..

Leesa said...

~deb: I just don't want any part of me pierced because of disease. Darn my unsexy OCD.

DNA: thanks, hun

mal: funny gal!

heather: everyone is a commedian today! Funny!

Grant said...

30,000 hits? That's more than I have and I've been blogging for nearly two years. I could use this as motivation to write better, but I decided long ago that it would be easier just to take out all the writers more talented than me. After Stephen King goes down, you're next. I can't believe he survived that van I voodoued into his path. :p

BTW, you can avoid ending your sentences with prepositions by adding ",assclown" to the end of all your sentences.

Leesa said...

grant: quantity of hits does not indicate quality of writing. Have I told you that before, assclown? What do you know, grant, it worked.

Prata said...

I always use asshat. But assclown works just as well! ^_^

JD said...

roflmao. i love the way you write, and the list is great. :)

Mark said...

Your writing is just fine. I can't expect you to mention oral sex every time you post, but I'm sure it's always somewhere in the back of your head...

Leesa said...

prata: I will keep that in mind.

jd: thanks.

mark: funny!

Tony said...

Love the list, Leesa. I'd love to have the time to blog. I could write about randomness or my yard work or kids or what ever. I envy your ability to stick with it for so long. I've tried blogging in the past but always seemed to get bogged down trying to focus on one item, i.e. kids, gardening, great danes. Maybe if I focused on randomness I'd be more successful. Thanks for the therapy session.

Tony

The Seeker said...

I like 19. lol

Leesa said...

tony: having the time to blog and having the ability to stick to it are two different gifts. Luckily, neither takes talent!

seeker: thanks, but I did not make the list - just sharing it.

speckledpup said...

great post.
really great.

Been lurking on you a while.

So what's YOUR thoughts...better b.j. with the tongue piercing? I'm pretty confident in my skills without...but I've always left room for improvement....

cadbury_vw said...

hilarious list

i sent it to the tech writer on our staff

i'm sure he'll appreciate it
[heh]

Leesa said...

pup: not sure I am the expert here.

cabbury: glad to here you liked it.

Jason said...

I should post that at my office.

Georgiapeach said...

This is funny!.lol. Don't us no double negatives..lol.