Hitting Sqirrels, Horses and Football Quarterbacks

Not perky enough for a post on one subject, so bear with me.

Okay, over the last week, I hit a squirrel, and Amanda hit a horse. And in real news, some little old lady hit a football quarterback. My little brain is trying to make sense of all of this.

Christian Wacko Point of View
First thing Christian wackos would suggest is that all three of these victims were actually participating in sodomy or homosexuality or whatever, and it is God's wrath who hurled their bodies at the cars. Drivers of the vehicles are one step closer to sainthood. All that was missing from the stories is "Another One Bites The Dust" playing in the background. Did Queen perform that song? Okay, that is the religious spin on this.

String Theory Point of View
Under string theory, one would say that these victims were injured in three, perhaps five of the alternate universes. Strings vibrating just right caused their bodies to hurl into the vehicles. Drivers of the cars may have been injured in other parallel universes. We will never know.

Country Hick Point of View
Country Hick point-of-view would be the following: "Cool! Now we can skin the squirrel and horse and put them up in the ice box." I just hope Country Hick does not think the same thing about football quarterback. Oh, and Country Hick would probably not be quite as articulate.

PETA Member Point of View
PETA point-of-view would be to hunt down and kill the drivers, then protest in random intersections. The only good thing to happen is that perhaps PETA would get some stars to pose nude in protest. I think they did that for fur. Oh, and I hope PETA doesn't hunt me down. Luckily because they are all vegetarians and malnourished, I am fairly sure I could still kick their asses if they got close to me. I would know they were coming because I could here their farts – I mean, if you have ever been around a vegetarian, you know that they fart all of the time. Even the girls.

Libertarian Party Point of View
A libertarian might say, "As long as the squirrel, horse and football player had insurance and would not tax the healthcare system, all is well. We need less government, more private industry, and if the squirrel and horse were not contributing to this great nation, no great loss." Most Libertarian party members are Cincinnati Bengal's fans, so hitting the quarterback would be a bonus.

Okay, when I started this, I was going to randomly talk about all sorts of things. I was thinking that my cum stain museum could be interactive – you know, having adults do art that would help with expanding exhibits, but alas, I am out of time.

Have a wonderful Thursday – and be careful on the roads.