The Skirt

I have thought about sharing the following, but it does two things that I am not sure I want to do:

1. Place me in a less-than-wonderful light. I like being the virginal, innocent blogger that you have come to know and love, and

2. Me and some of my co-workers come off as some sort of reverse female-chauvinist-pig.

But what the hey!

Okay, at our work, we lease our copy machines, and along with leasing these machines, we have some sort of service contract. Anything that goes wrong and we (me) pick up the phone and place a service call. Within the day or next day, we get service and everyone is happy. Nothing new so far.

Well, about seven months ago, we got a new fix-it person. I wanted to say that we got a new "copier guy", because that's what I call him, but you see, the new copy repair person is a girl. Well, a woman.

Now, a few weeks ago, I entered a room and a conversation mid-sentence, and they were talking about "the skirt," and without any context, I knew exactly who they were talking about. This woman! She wears the shortest skirts year-round. And I have always seen her in a skirt.

And before you ask, Grant, no she is not Asian! And she is not some hot dentist or dental hygienist. She does have really nice legs, but that is not the point. She is known by what she wears – short skirts. And everyone around here seems to be calling her, "the skirt."

Then I start thinking – and, no, not about this girl. I make many of the calls, and I think I have been calling our copier company more and more since she started working at our location (I almost typed, "servicing us," but it is not like that). Now, this could be that she is really bad at fixing the copy machine. But I don't think that is the issue. I think people are jamming the machine on purpose. I mean, for a while, we had this really hot guy, and some of the girls (including me) would joke about jamming the machine on purpose. But we didn't do it. And I am wondering if people are jamming the machine on purpose. Yeah, those INTJ's out there are probably thinking, "perhaps your machine is aging, and it is more prone to breakdowns." To that, I say, "I am so going to label you!" (Inside joke, sorry.)

And I feel really bad about calling her "the skirt." It reminds me of some class in college, where we learned about certain demeaning names that men have given women over the years (gotta love liberal arts education). One name was "skirt," because it describes women by an article of clothing or that a woman is important because of what the skirt contains. This was one of those classes where I would read a short story, and the professor would talk about all of these sexual innuendos that completely went over my head. The other thing about that class is a story about trucks and trucking – and apparently, it was all about homosexual sex. News to me. You see, the story used the word "Peterbuilt." Apparently, that means big penis. Again, I was a freshman and very naive at the time.

I remember in the cold of winter, our copier person – "the skirt" – coming to fix the machine, and she had this really big coat on. I sort of wanted a coat like it (for the three weeks I could actually use it). Anyway, she takes it off, and there she is, in her little skirt. She must only wear short skirts. And I thought to myself, "I want her legs." No, I thought to myself, "I would be freezing my ass off were I she." And then I thought, "Nice ass." Just joking – I thought, "I sure wish the copier guy was still servicing us. I mean, he was freakin' hot."