Monday, April 03, 2006

Ben Franklin, Daylight Savings Time and Satan

I was a bit surprised by my Friday post. It elicited a lot of response. I was just trying to be a smart aleck. Almost said the a-word.

Daylight savings time has really messed with me. Got up late, in to work late, and this is after being under Daylight Savings Time for a day.

Okay, for those of you who don't know, Benjamin Franklin created Daylight Savings Time to save on kerosene or time or whatever. Personally, I think Ben thought of this as some sort of joke. "How can I get George Washington's panties in a wad?" Okay, he probably thought pantaloons, not panties, but you get the idea. He knew he couldn't make a joke about termites and false teeth – I get the impression that George was the kind of guy that was long on heroism and short on smarts. Again, just my impression. So to make George act at the buffoon in his pantaloons, Ben Franklin invented Daylight Savings Time.

There are several reasons I hate Daylight Savings Time – first, I can never tell when it is on or off. Are we going on Daylight Savings Time or coming off of it? I have no idea, but I do know the people who have figured it out will correct me when I misuse the term. These are Leesa's friends. And not my friends, but that gorgeous Montana-living, talented-photographer bitch Leesa. I just call her bitch Leesa because we are just that close. And she has some gorgeous picture of a hummer (a bird, not a car or a sexual act).

We all remember, "Spring forward, fall back." One year I got it backwards, so I was two hours off of the rest of the word for an entire day. That shows how smart I am.

There are several areas that don't observe Daylight Savings Time in the US. So if you are in Arizona (with the exception of the Navajo Nation), Hawaii and the territories of Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands, Guam, and American Samoa, you don't observe Daylight Savings Time. The rest of the nation considers these places backwards – I remember even a teacher in high school making that statement. And you know, I think we have it backwards. They are the smart ones, and we are jealous of them.

Here is what I want to know – the areas who don't observe Daylight Savings Time – are they more likely not to have good batteries in their smoke detectors? Do they have more fatalities in fires because of this? Do people in these areas even have to change the batteries in their smoke detectors? Or are there PSAs that warn citizens in these areas about changing batteries as if they were observing Daylight Savings Time. Lots of questions here.

Maybe Satan is really responsible for Daylight Savings Time – he wants us to skip church one weekend per year, and by screwing with the times, he is ensured of this. And for those of us less committed, twice per year – you know, when you arrive at church an hour early when returning to standard time and you say, "screw it, we are going home and back to bed."

I like electricity, kites, bifocal glasses. So I am not saying that Ben Franklin is Satan. But someone could make the comparison – Daylight Savings Time would be a given. Now, I don't wear bifocals, but I bet wearing them is a challenge. Perhaps wearers of these glasses would think the inventor of the glasses would be Satan himself. Plus Franklin was a publisher – wanted to get the word out to the masses. Sort of satan-esque. Electricity allows us to do things much more efficiently – and idle hands are the devil's tools.


Joe said...

From what I understand, daylight savings gets pushed back to March next year. That's going to confuse the hell out of me - and I don't need any help in that area.

Shannon said...

Day Light Savings time is Satans work.. I agree with you there! It totally messed me up Saturday night, that is not acceptable =)

cherish said...

Excellent post. I prefer to fall ball! We get an extra hour to sleep and it gets darker earlier. Then I can make my children come in earlier because it is dark out. hehe Yes I know it is only 6pm but it is dark out so come in. Plus I get up at 4:30 so today was like 3:30 ughhhhh!!!!!!

Wishing you a great day!

BBB_0202020 said...

I agree, I only like when it gives more and time to party. My body still hasn't adjusted.

Mike said...

I too am struggling with the time change....They could just leave it alone and quit trying to confuse me with this. I have enough other things to confuse me and don't really need this as well.

Grant said...

Don't blame His Satanic Majesty for the workings of the federal government. Without our Lord Lucifer, we wouldn't have the great tunes. Instead, we'd be stuck listening to gospel music, and nobody wants that.

But I agree that DST is bad. I always leave one clock set to the real time as a reminder that the government is forcing me to get up an our early every single day for more than half of the year.

TrappedInColorado said...

I adore the day we put the clocks ahead.. I have a drink for every clock I change in my house (damn, what a hangover)..I like that extra daylight... VIVA DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!!!


Leesa said...

joe: who the heck decides these things?

shannon: I would argue that the Whisky Sours had more of an effect on you than the hour moving forward!

cherrish: fall back seems like a gift. When I was in college, I needed the time to study. Now I just use it to sleep an extra hour.

tirgerkiss: what happens at the clubs that close at 4:00 am - you loose an hour of dancing!

mike: perhaps there is a book you can read. "Daylight Saving Time for Dummies"

trapped: so have you changed your batteries as well? I guess I did not know about that aspect of Daylight Savings Time.

Monica said...

It almost killed me this year (DST). Emma had a slumber party for her 8th B-day Saturday night, so I was up until almost 2 Saturday time...3 Sunday time, ad had to get up to go to Mass @ 8:am Sunday.....sooooooo tired still today. It's so hard on the kids.

SkyeBlue2U said...

I work graveyard shift you don't even want to know how messed up I am!!

Dirk the Feeble said...

Daylight Savings Time is my #3 reason for the move to Antarctica, where it's dark 6 months and light 6 months.

Insanity Infusion said...

Since we're talking about Ben Franklin...

You know he had 26 illegitimate children?

I think ~somehow~ Daylight Savings Time had to play into benefitting his nookie time.

Insanity Infusion

~Deb said...

Well what about this----how come AZ doesn't have to change their times? This pisses me off. I'm so off today because of it. I woke up early because of my eternal clock that still says it's an hour behind...and then went backto sleep for one more hour----to wake up TWO hours later. F***ing A!

Leesa said...

monica: It is Tuesday and still killing me (without as many distractions).

SkyeBlue2U: I often wonder how those hours affect night shifts.

Dirk the Feeble: I want to move to Antartica, too.

insanity infusion: he lived in France, anything is possible there.

~deb: you have an eternal clock. I only have an internal clock. Lucky chick!

Grant said...

I went to bed early last night only to awaken in the middle of the night whereupon I lost the extra sleep and still shambled in today feeling like a zombie on toast. I have an infernal clock.

mal said...

I have no doubt that Franklin was one dedicated prankster. You have to be to pull a prank on your great, great grandkids

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