Monday, April 17, 2006

Easter Sugar, Money, and HNTs

I am in a post-Easter sugar-induced state. I am not sure if I can think straight. See, when you don't have children and still have Easter, there is a heck of a lot of candy that you have to eat. I have never been good at eating candy after Easter – most of it is consumed during Easter.

And when I have this much sugar in me, my thinking is . . . oh, um . . . erratic. Spastic. And "Tiger Woods spastic," not trying to make fun of people with MS spastic. Tiger Woods said that he was a spaz during the Masters. Upset a lot of people in the UK; apparently they forgot that in the US, we have corrupted their language. At least that's what an English acquaintance told me once.

Twice over the last week, I have found dollars with the phrase, "Kathy and Alex" written on the side. The first time I saw the scribble, I thought, "how sweet, little love-birds." By the second time I saw the scribble, I began wondering about Kathy and Alex. I mean, they are just goo-goo in love or they are just want to deface currency. Or something in between.

At first, I assumed that the two lovebirds were male and female, but you know, Alex can be a girl's name too. So these little notes passed from person to person in exchange for goods and/or services that acknowledge their love may have done their job – because I hope these two crazy kids, Kathy and Alex, are doing well. And if I had a naughtier mind, I would wonder if these two young adults are either bumping donuts or reverse cowgirl, depending on their sexes.

Okay, last week I saw a blog that mentioned reverse cowgirl. I had no idea what that was, so I looked it up in Wikipedia, and you know, I am starting to find out that I am a sexual novice. I mean I have had lots of experience, but most of it has been in a relatively few sexual positions. Seems like I have been more in pursuit of the magical "O", and less in pursuit of imaginative sex. And so I am feeling a bit of a novice. Even the missionary position has 10 variations – who would have thought?

As you have probably guessed, I have nothing to write about today. But I am thinking more and more about what I don't know instead of what I do know. I mean, I don't know about Kathy and Alex, I don't know about reverse cowgirls.

I mean, it is not I am campaigning over banning HNTs. I mean, who would be crazy enough to do that.


Georgiapeach said...

I haven't been first in a long I am so corny :(.
Now I shall read the post!

The Old Lady said...

I didnt know what reverse cowgirl was either.I think i need to get out more im definately missing out on all these sexual positions.

Georgiapeach said...

Okay, is the reverse cowgirl, when you ride facing the other way? If so, I love the

Georgiapeach said...

Just looked it Ah Leesa, don't try to act like you don't know about that one! That's one of those natural positions that you gravitate to...rofl.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Yup, I agree with've done it, haven't you??? I'll admit it...but I'll also admit that I didn't know what the "technical" term was. According to The PK, it was always called "Hey, turn around." ;) Next time, I'll have to wear my cowgirl hat and spurs.

Had no idea what "bumping donuts" was though. I think I'll be visiting Wikipedia quite often in the near future. My empolyers are gonna just LOVE me for that...;)

kathi said...

How'd you find Wikipedia? I'd never even heard of that. Yeah, I'd never heard of bumping donuts, but the rest of them may as well be named after me. LOL :)

Grant said...

Any post that mentions "Reverse Cowgirl" is worthwhile.

Why don't we all start writing "Kathy and Alex" on all our bills?

Heather said...

lol.. I'm still trying to recover from my weekend too.. I don't know what it is about people writing on money. I guess it's the modern day carving of the tree, who knows.. I did try that "where's George" website once.. what a pain in the ass just to find out where a dollar bill has been..

ban HNT?? Never..

Bud said...

One of my favorite positions. Better with a big mirror. A sugar high is always helpful but not necessary. Kathy and Alex, if you're out there reading, please chime in on this.

Mike said...

Why would we want HNT banned? commenters ought to be banned though.

It's a shame I have a few people who read me and don't have blogger so eliminating that feature is out for me. Amd has provided blog fodder as well.

Mark said...

I think a lot of these terms came from the porn industry. I didn't know it was called a reverse cowgirl until about 5 years ago... buy hey, that's a great position for lots of reasons.

TrappedInColorado said...

Without Leesa I would be a real doofus in a conversation about terms for sex. Bumping donuts.. also clit clatting.. that's a hoot! Thank you, Ms. Leesa... here is an apple for the teacher.. do you want me to stay after class to clean the blackboard erasers? ;)


Cheryl said...

That person would be totally crazy. Sometimes I am amazed with what one can find in Wikipedia.

thistle said...

i figured out reverse cowgirl pretty quickly when i was invited to join the photo pool at flickr, but what's that about doughnuts?

mal said...

oh wow....if you are inexperienced then I must have been living in a convent....NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

cherish said...

I have no idea what reverse cowgirl is but my curiosity is definitely peaked. I am off to look it up and ummmm 10 missionary positions?? I had no idea!!

Learn something new everyday!!

Have a great day!

Painted Helga said...

Ah, wikipedia... endless fun. And such intriguing revelations, too. I'll have to inform the gf that we've been "bumping donuts!" She does love a good euphemism. Napoleon's hat, for example...

Thanks for the laugh!

GirlGoyle said...

I've heard of pumping uglies. But I've never associated donuts or cowgirls to sex. Ok...maybe cowgirls...but not sure how you would reverse those....guess the Magic O works for me...i don't really care how we get long as we do!

GirlGoyle said...

I'll confess...I looked it up! Wikepedia is no joke! Man are they and all. I'm impressed. The best part was: The man can enjoy the relaxing and otherwise rare opportunity of reclining and receiving pleasure without physical strain.
Oh poor he does all the work all the time. One question though...reading the disadvantages was "beware not to damage the penis." I had to chuckle...never thought it could be "damaged". Used and abused yes...damaged, no.

Kim's Life said...

I have to say I am a little concerned. LOL I could pretend and say yes,yes I know the act of reverse cowgirl. But what the Hell is it. Look Im risking looking completely blonde here.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Clit clatting?

That is HILARIOUS! :)

(Sick as it sounds...that phrase sounds like a kids toy!!!)

Shannon said...

I am clueless on the whole reverse cowgirl thing myself.. and that's OK.. if I was suppose to know, I would know, right?? Ok could you tell me?? I am dying to know =)

Leesa said...

GP: I have noticed that you have not been around much either! That mask is kinda scary. And, I am usually on the bottom, so to speak.

old lady: and I have never done the reverse cowgirl. Shocker, I know.

stacey: I really didn't know about it. Oh, so sheltered am I.

kathi: Wikipedia is wonderful. Just follow the link.

grant: I think someone has already started with the Kathy and Alex stuff. Could be a new gang.

heather: yeah, I remember the where's George website. And banning HNT, yeah, cowgirl, we wouldn't want to do that.

bud: love mirrors.

mike: you are crusading against HNT, sir. Well, not really, but I wanted to start a rumor.

mark: porn, what is that?

trapped: I get my info from Heather.

cheryl: I love Wikipedia!

thistle: follow the link.

mallory: if you only use one dance move or two, sometimes you don't ever know how to do the more exotic dances.

cherish: thanks, sweetie.

helga: thanks, sweetie.

girlgoyle: I read that as well. Funny stuff.

kim: thanks for helping me with my ego. I had no idea either.

stacey: you are a hoot!

shannon: you mean, when your mother and father gave you the "birds and the bees" talk, they did not mention cowgirls?

Mark said...

There was a book back in the late 70s early 80s (I reeally dating myself here) titled Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. I don't recall any reverse cowgirl references, but maybe that's why they were blue.

Porn -- Oh that's right, porn is in the eye (or mind) of the beholder. Or as a former Supreme Court justice is reported to have said... "it's porn if it gives me an erection"

Party Girl said...

reverse cowgirl is a personal fav.

I love it when a man just twist and turns me into a limber little pretzel to the point that I have to lift my head and open my eyes to see, "what the hell kind of configuration am I in exactly?"

..good times...

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