Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Junk Mail, Fires and Telemarketers

I hate junk mail; I really do. I received a piece of mail from a friend yesterday, and I will be placing it at the bottom of this e-mail. I am sure several of you have received the same message. But I am not talking about forwarded messages (this one I would not classify as spam). I am talking about junk mail.

The one good thing about junk mail is that I can tell if our postman is not picking up or delivering mail on a given day – no junk mail, no delivery for the day. Because I get junk mail every day that I get a delivery. I think that's sort of amazing.

And I never respond to junk mail – although I don't count fliers from places I frequent "junk mail." If I get a 25% off coupon from Crabtree and Evelyn, you know I am going to use it. Every stinkin' time. But the charge cards, life insurance policies, mortgage refinancing, lawn services, etc., heck no, I will not do business with them.

If we had a fireplace, I would appreciate junk mail. I figure, it would save me some money. I would bundle up the junk mail, probably make a log a week, and burn them in the winter. Thanks Sears, thanks JC Penney's. You are helping me keep my tootsies warm in the winter. But we have no fireplace. And really, Georgia doesn't get that cold that I would need a fireplace for more than a month or so anyway. If we did have one, I would not even need to buy firewood. Unless we purchased the wood in such a way that hubbie would need to split it shirtless in the backyard. Yum. But I guess if he were splitting wood in the winter, he would probably have a shirt on. Foiled again. You can see why I hate junk mail.

Which leads me to phone calls. I don't like salespeople calling me. Yeah, we are on the do not call list. And it works pretty well. But if you are already doing business with someone, they can call you regardless, to try and sell you more crap and interrupt your dinner. My latest tactic is to sniffle once I know it is one of these people, and then say that my dog just died. I start balling, and the person on the other end of the line usually gives up quickly. They know they work on volume, and I will be chatty and not buy anything else. The worse is our local telephone service. I hate them, but I will not name them because they are evil and I think they actually monitor all of my communications. They always call when I am in the bathroom and hubbie answers the phone. And hubbie is a sucker. So I have to finish up quickly, pat off and then hobble to rip the receiver out of hubbie's hand, pulling my shorts up in the process. "We don't need any more services, and yes, jack ass, it is that time of the month!" It occurs to me that these people have our names and phone numbers, and I pray that some central computer just serves up the information so they can't call again.

I can see their notes in the customer database: "Wife is psycho bitch whore. Hubbie is easy target. Only ask for the man of the house." Sorry for the cursing. It's just these telemarketers get the best of me.

And the link mentioned is for the National Do Not Call Registry – a worthwhile thing, unless you like toying with people during dinner.

GAS WAR - an idea that WILL work. This was originally sent by a retired Coca Cola executive. It came from one of his engineer buddies who retired from Halliburton. It's worth your consideration.

Join the resistance!!!! I hear we are going to hit close to $ 4.00 a gallon by next summer and it might go higher!! Want gasoline prices to come down? We need to take some intelligent, united action.

Phillip Hollsworth offered this good idea. This makes MUCH MORESENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain day" campaign that was going around last April or May! The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can really work. Please read on and join with us!

By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at about $1.50 is super cheap. Me too! It is currently $2.79 for regular unleaded in my town. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at $1.50 - $1.75, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace … not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of gas comedown is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And, we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How?

Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war.

Here's the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers. It's really simple to do! Now, don't wimp out on me at this point...keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!

I am sending this note to 30 people. If each of us send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) ... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)...and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth group of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers.

If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!!

Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all! (If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to do is send this to 10 people.... Well, let's face it, you just aren't a mathematician. But I am … so trust me on this one.) :-)

How long would all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting together we can make a difference.

If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. I suggest that we not buy from EXXON/MOBIL UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $1.30 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.

Kerry Lyle, Director, Research Coordinator


Puffin said...

Like you I hate junk mail... There is one lady i work with that insists on sending those "send these to 10 people" emails so you recieve "Good Luck". I delete them like it's going out of style. I recieved an email yesterday about the GAS OUT one that you have posted. I recieved it from a friend of mine who NEVER forwards stuff, So I read it and took it serious...ANd like a dolt i forwarded to a bunch of folks...then 15 minutes later he sent another email that had a link to it.


All you have to see is the word SNOPES and you know it's a hoax...Once again...I look like a clown.

Grant said...

I got two of those yesterday myself. And since nobody ever calls me who I would want to talk to, I let the answering machine get all calls. Over the years, the phone traffic has diminished to near nothing.

I refuse to do business with anybody who loads my e- or snail mail box with garbage. That's why I quit supporting the Humane Society. I sent them $100 and they apparently used most of it to send me unwanted magazines and requests for more money.

Pittchick said...

I hate junk mail!! I carry it right from the mail box into the garbage. I think they are starting some sort of "do not send junk mail" list for credit card offers and the such. I'm not so sure how well that will work.

The do not call list does work pretty well, but I have caller ID, so I just don't answer the phone if I don't recognize the number.

Prata said...

I send junk mail back to the companies that send it when an envelope is present. I pack all the junk mail I can fit into the postage paid envelope and send it back. I'm told you can send some high volume of mail back if you want. I've not tried that yet though.

As far as spam/junk e-mail is concerned. I don't ever see it. Spamassassin nabs it before it ever hits my inbox on my linux mail server. Heeeeeee! Being an administrator has its perks.

Mike said...

I just want to say I love telemarketers myself...but then I'm easily amused.

Ddot the King said...

LOL! I'm sorry that one of your no good friends wasted your time by sending you this crap! I bet he/she is a real jerk.

Leesa said...

puffin: thanks for the snopes reference.

grant: you know, I did the exact same thing to the Humane Society. $100 and then more junk mail.

DNA princess: I am too cheap for caller ID.

prata: good advice. I did not think of that.

mike: I would not telegraph that, mikey. Although we know that you are easily amused. You read my blog, don't you?

ddot: yeah, fooled me. I thought he was a real nice guy and then he sends me that!

Ddot the King said...

Well don't hold it against him too much. I'm sure he had good intentions. :)

Edtime Stories said...

I have sent junk mail back in the postage paid envelope with sand to add weight. Also you can use the postage paid to mail back a brick or two if you have a friendly postal official or a place to drop usps parcels. Just shred anything you send back like that.

Email spam can be filtered, I have that at work and get very little spam at home. I am annoyed by the forwarded emails. They usually are silly and a waste of space. But to show people that they are hoaxes makes me the bad guy.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I HATE junk mail...the hubby never opens any of his mail so I sort thru it for him (when I ought to just toss it all and let him worry about it).

As far as telemarketers go, he will usually tell them once, "Thanks but I'm not interested." and if they keep on talking, he'll say it again and then hang up on them. Me, I'm a sucker...I NEVER order or buy anything but I usually let them go thru their whole schpeel and then tell them no four or five times till they get the picture (all the while The PK is in the living room yelling at me to "Hang up the damn phone!!!!" (He once actually answered it and told them "Sorry, I can't talk right now...I'm about to have sex with my wife."

I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. (So NOT a turn on...;)

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Leesa said...

ddot: I have a short memory, sweetie.

ed: I shred everything. I am so paranoid.

stacey: Funny - "I'm about to have sex with my wife." I have once answered the phone right before sex - mother-in-law on the line, and I so much wanted to say, "He will call you later. I am going to fuck your boy right now." But I didn't.

milf: thanks for the spam - seems appropriate for you to post this time.

Melanie said...

Hi leesa. finally made my way over here from musey's blog. you always leave such sweet comments to her that i thought i would come and check you out and low and behold you're from ga. too. and savannah of all places. i was just down there a few weeks ago. didn't see much in savannah, just passed thru on our way to tybee island which i fell in love with.

btw, my husband is so like that to. he drives me crazy. just hang up dammit. very nice. i'll be back when i can read more. have a nice day.

Leesa said...

I'm the same way, I hate telemarketers. Thanks to caller i.d. I can ignore all of them. It's my best friend ;)

Leesa said...

melanie: thanks, sweetie. Tybee Island is nice, a little too pricey for me, though. Savannah can be very charming.

leesa: caller ID is your best friend? And I thought I was!

~Deb said...

Oh yeah, let's just not get gas and walk everywhere instead. Realistic? I don't think so.

I love playing around with telemarketers all the time. When they call, they do their thing, "Hi this is Bob from AT&T...."

I'm like, "John! I know this is you- stop kidding around!!! Where are you? You're an hour late you bastard! And who are those people in the background???? (the other office people) Are you at a bar John????"

They freak out and don't know what to do. Try it. It's fun.

I know, I know, I need to get a life.

kathi said...

We'd signed up for the do not call list and it cut it wwwwaaaaayyyyy down. BUT, now we get charities constantly, and Mark is like your hubby...'that's a great cause, let me write a check.' I've got every widows organization known to man in my check register!

The Kept Woman said...

Thanks for stopping by my place!

I like to pretend that I'm the teenage daughter or a nanny when telemarketers call and ask for the lady of the house.

I'm working up the courage to say that I'm just the mistress just to hear their reaction.

Wes said...

Excellent call on the junk mail and the fireplace bit. I'm lucky enough to have a fireplace and the thing gets filled wayyyyy too quickly anymore.

GirlGoyle said...

Oh yeah...i'll get right on it copy/paste and pass it to 10 of my friends. WTF!!! I used to be a believer now I'm a deleter. If I don't recognize your name in my addressbook u going in the trash. Though I can't help but wonder if all the spam about Cialis/Viagra is some sort of sign. What are they trying to tell me??? As for the telemarketer, i'm in sales so it's difficult for me to be rude though I have been tempted. I just don't answer my land line and cell phone has caller ID.

Leesa said...

~deb: funny girl. I did a bit of telemarketing when I was young and broke, and I hated it. I also did the call center stuff, and it was really bad as well.

kathi: all sorts of charities hit us up for money. And like Mark, hubbie insists on writing checks/charging. $20 here, $20 there, and they won't stop bothering you.

kept woman: I want to claim that I am a thief in the house. "Lefty, I am inside. Quit kidding around. We need you to back the truck up to the garage."

wes: thanks, sweetie.

girlgoyle: and on my blogger site, I am getting more e-mail on penis enlargement. I am all for enlarging all penises, but give a girl a break!

Bee said...

I only pick up the phone if I recognize the number or it is listed as Private. My dad is the best with telemarketers. He let's them go on for more than five minutes, even asking them questions and at the end says, "no, maybe next time" ha.

I also signed up for the no cc offers list and I have only received a handful in the past year. AMAZING!

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magdala said...

You can tell the companies who are allowed to call you, not to. If you request it, they will take you off the calling list. Alternately, you can tell them all to write you a letter and make another log for your fire you don't have :)

A sure fire way to have fun with telemarketers....let kids answer the phone. Little kids. My three year old had a grand time with it. They rarely call back....

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