Thursday, April 27, 2006

Delusions and Milestones

When I was a little girl – well, when I was still living at home – I remember one birthday in particular. The birthday had black balloons and white shoe polish on cars and other public displays of humiliation for my mother. You see, she turned 4-0.

I can’t remember her 35th birthday – not as a milestone birthday, but that birthday for me seemed like a milestone. 21 was a milestone because of the drinking thing. And 30 was supposed to be a milestone but did not seem like it. 35 is the new 40 for women, I think. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Now, on cue, you are suppose to say, “Leesa, hun, I did not know you were in your 30s; I always thought you were, hey, late 20s.”Side note: my legal driver’s license was taken by a bouncer and destroyed because he thought it was a fake when I was 24 years old. I had to get another license.

But 35 was hard for me. All of this is back-story, because today, gentle readers, I am talking about hubbie. He recently had a birthday. The black balloon birthday. Someone at work actually gave him Viagra – well, it was a Viagra bottle with aspirin in it. Now I know someone at work is packing Viagra. I just hope the guy does not get a hard on for my hubbie.

Anyway, we were doing a little pillow talk the other night, and he, in all seriousness, says, “You know, the worse thing about turning 40?”

And, as my mind is wondering what he is going to say, I answer, “No, babe, what is the worse thing?” And I am hoping it has nothing to do with me.

His answer: “Well, I am realizing that I will never get some opportunities. For one, it looks like I will never be a professional baseball player.”

Good wife that I am, I don’t laugh my ass off. I wanted so much to laugh, but I didn’t. Then he explained that Roger Clements, Barry Bonds and some guy I had not heard of were all over 40, and they could still play. But their skills were diminishing. All I could think of is that these are, I presume, hall-of-fame caliber players. He, Mr. Weekend Softball League, is preparing himself to some of the greatest players in baseball. Okay, I am going to have to make an assumption – since I don’t really like baseball, I presume these are good players because I can recognize their names. Well, except for the guy I didn’t recognize and can’t remember.

I just thought it was cute. Delusional but cute.

29 comments:

GirlGoyle said...

Oh poor thing! First the Viagra and now the diminished base"ball" capacity. Men...they definitely have a strange thought process.

Goddess said...

I dont think it is strange... he is coming to terms with the fact that some of his dreams of youth will never happen. Look out for that midlife crisis to be rolling around! lol

Leesa said...

girlgoyle: yeah but they are so much fun, just to figure out how they think

goddess: I was thinking that.

Pittchick said...

Barry Bonds has been doing steroids for quite some time. Just tell your hubbie that if he were chemically altered, he would have been a fabulous baseball player ;)

mal said...

His view is not surprising. Lots of us have these pictures in the back of our mind that we can be "something" and maybe it is so, but we have been unwilling or unable to pay the dues to get there. Even though we do not put forth the effort, it still remains a possibility in the back of our minds.

I think we all hit a point in our lives when we realize the second law of thermodynamics has forever closed the door to those posssibilities however miniscule they were. I think this realization hits males harder for some reason.

Good news though! It can give us the opportunity to focus on who we really are and what we really want to do when we close the "Fantasy Door"

"I coulda bin sumtin', I coulda bin a contendah" Marlon Brando, "On the Waterfront"

Prata said...

As a guy, and as I age (I'm only 26 I know, hush) I am constantly checking myself for diminishing skills. I can't speak for all guys, but I can for myself. Being a san shaou fighter, I am extremely concerned about aging and slowing of reflexes, loss of lethal power. I've always had bad eyes, which I correct with contacts or glasses; however, as I get older I notice a few things happening. My mind is sharper, and my technique is getting better. But I'm constantly afraid my skills, things that I was good at before such as sharp dibilitating strikes that can put a person down in just one blow will start to fade.

I think this sort of thing plagues most men, we have aspirations. Me? I want to be able to bring the most amount of harm to another human being with the least amount of effort in any given situation. And I rely on my training to provide me the tools I must perform it. Others want to play basketball or baseball and they want to excel at it. We compare ourselves to the greats because that's what all people. Aim high, even if you won't hit the mark at least you were aspiring for it. So thanks for not laughin' at him ^_^

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

Happy Black Balloon Birthday to your hubbie. You are such a great writer. I LOL so much reading this post.

~Deb

Sheen V said...

I'll be 40 later this year. I've never really placed too much importance on milestone birthdays. I'm the youngest in my family and of all of my cousins, so my perspective is being the youngest, no matter my age. I've also known for a long time that my boyhood dreams weren't going to be a reality as I moved into my teens, 20's, 30's, so its no surprise that they haven't been realized. New goals have taken their place.

~Deb said...

Okay, I don’t give a rat’s ass—I’m gonna comment regardless if you hate comments or not…They’re enabled…so deal.

Happy birthday hubbie!!!

Age is but a number. I think the fact that your hubbie even thought about the baseball thing is really adorable. Your 40’s are supposed to be your fun years---you’re supposed to be comfortable in your own skin finally, making choices that you don’t regret. (That’ll be me when I’m 60…)

I’m looking forward to my golden years. I’m going to be sitting on a cruise ship with my dyke girlfriend sipping scotch on the rocks and playing shuffleboard. Does life get any better than that? Naw.

Embrace the coming years babe!

Monica said...

I worry about the ton of bricks...because at 29, I'm still tripping through the daisies of "I'll never be old" I'm actually looking forward to 30 because then maybe (maybe) people will start to take me seriously and stop treating me like a kid with kids. I look forward to reaching all of my milestones at odd times...empty nesting grandmother at 40 something...great grandmother at 60-70..great grand mother at 80.
I hate it when I realize what I've not done, and will never get to do...but most of those things aren't things I wanted to do anyway....I just hate being told no.

btw..come help me name our new puppy!

The Stiltwalker said...

I've never had a birthday celebration, ever. For more reasons than enough. So me approaching 30 is like "whatever."

Heather said...

I completely understand.. Dave still thought he was going to be a professional dragracer.. He was 41.. In some aspects, they never grow up..lol

Christian said...

Mean, mean, mean. We are all professional baseball players in our minds!
And you don't like baseball? Awwwww.

Joe said...

First, happy birthday to the hubbie.

Second, every weekend softball player dreams of being a professional baseball player. We all just hope to get noticed by a scout that happens to drive by.

JD said...

Happy Birthday Bro. and not delusional at all. and even though some skills diminish, others (not many in my case, but some) actually improve. i think it comes with experience and anticipation, etc. and i constantly compare myself to pro soccer players. i played in college, and if not for a stint repaying uncle sam, could've possibly played pro, but definitely not anymore. we all have dreams, that's a good thing.

i think i'd like hubby, and i certainly like Leesa, so he's already got bonus points in my book. and i just know he is really concerned about what JD thinks. lol. ;)

Grant said...

I'm often compared to Stephen King. The sentences usually start something like "Grant, unlike talented writers such as Stephen King..." but it's a start.

ChargeOfQuarters said...

Roger Clemens is still one of the top 5 best pitchers in professional baseball. Randy Johnson is 42 and still throws 94 mph heat. Curt Schilling, same age, same fastball speed...

Happy birthday to your hubby; he is still in his prime....

Leesa said...

I'm 38 and I still get carded and they look twice. No complaints though :)

Leesa said...

dna: I don't want hubbie doing steroids - isn't impotence a side-effect of them?

mallory: sometimes I think I have not changed in 15 years. Delusional, but true.

prata: interesting comments. Scary, but very interesting.

dr ~deb: thanks, sweetie.

sheen: I think some milestones are important.

~deb: I toyed with turning off comments today, but I didn't. I actually was going to post on the "age is but a number" quote.I have heard lots about it lately.

monica: oh, how I wish I were in your shoes.

stiltwalker: I didn't like birthdays as a little girl.

heather: thanks for sharing.

christian: but at least I did not laugh.

joe: thanks for the confirmation.

jd: I think he is working on his "back hair skills"

grant: Funny. When I think of Steven King, I think of you. When I think of Stephen King, I think of a great writer. Steven King liked to pull ponytails in forth grade.

charge: thanks for the names and characteristics.

leesa: Don't you love it!

Miranda said...

Awww...thats cute. Happy B-day to your hubby.

My age doesnt bother me, it's my kids ages that make me feel old. lol as you've heard, my baby is turning 18 this week, and that is legal in this province. omg. lol...I'll get over it.

Ddot the King said...

Leesa I'll turn 30 next month I think aboutt he fact that I'm younger than Allen Iverson and about the same age as Kevin Garnett(two all-star NBA players) and how I could be in the NBA had my circumstances been slightly different and been stinking, filthy rich but alas I am here at this job that I hate. I feel hubbie's pain. Tell him the next round is on me...

Georgiapeach said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Georgiapeach said...

lol@ Ddot. I always thought you were in you twenty eight until you told me you were ten years older than me. :)

I can wait to be thirty, but then again I really want to have a family by then, so I can't wait to be thirty.... aww, that's doesn't make sense. Maybe it's the spilt personalities colliding.

Hope you and your husband have a wonderful B-day!

Bruce said...

Wait till he hits the big 5-0, as I did 3+ years ago. He'll have soooo much fun...

Leesa said...

miranda: thanks

ddot: you mean, you are not independently wealthy?

GP: thanks, sweetie!

bruce: the big 5-0? I am just crazy about the big O!

Grant said...

BTW, your blog feed is working again. All the others I know with a problem still aren't fixed, but you're okay now. I guess Google is fixing the blogs one at a time.

SurvivinSingleMom said...

Leesa, I'm turning 34 this year and I'm starting to freak out that I'll be on the downward slop toward 40.

Leesa said...

grant: I think I fixed it by re-publishing my whole blog. Either that, or they needed to make sure that their blogs that mention penises, Stephen King and Shikira are working quickly.

surviving: hey, slipping on the other side of 35 has its benefits.

Edge said...

It's a guy thing. I have the same thoughts, but mine are more along the lines of "guess I'll never be a rock star". That doesn't even take looks or talent. Look at Clay Aiken for goodness sake. I'm 36 and heading to 40. Not funny to think the college chicks I work around look at me like an old man.

~Jef