I made a mistake

You know, I was thinking the other day. Yeah, back off. Easy shot if you comment on my thinking ability. I was listening to a couple of people justify past mistakes they made. The actual mistakes are not that important, but it sounded like both women sort of wished they had not made them. But they did not really call them mistakes – they called them “life choices.” It seems to me, again, just reading between the lines, that both women don’t want to admit that they have made mistakes. And I wonder how healthy that is.

I have made mistakes. Big freakin’ mistakes. I have a certain moral code – and part of that moral code was “don’t be unfaithful to hubbie.” Well, I blew that. And for a while, I pretended that circumstances, or actions that hubbie made at the time gave me the right to be unfaithful. Now I don’t want to go into great details – heck, I have done that before. But I can remember even thinking for a while – it is better not to tell hubbie about the infidelities. To just be a better wife. There were even national talk show shrinks who counseled to “keep your trap shut” and just be better. But doing that would not have solved the problem.

It was not that I wanted to unload crap on hubbie. I really did not want to burden him with all the crap I had going on in my mind. But in order to be a better person, to live my moral code, I had to do things that I would have a hard time explaining. Hun, could you go to couples therapy with me. Hun, I am starting to take some additional pills. Psychotropic pills, hun, yes I believe they are. I could not have gotten any better without hubbie helping me. So I had to say, “I made a mistake.” And that statement was so freeing.

I am a practicing Catholic. And so I was not living by the rules of the Church. But more than just rules for a church, they are things I believed in but did not follow. And after admitting to doing wrong, I could become a better person. Sometimes I think organized religion does not do such a good job on this aspect of the human experience. Instead of “I’m okay, you’re okay,” perhaps we should be saying, “I’m a sinner, you’re a sinner.” And then learn from our mistakes.

Now I know some of you will say, “Fidelity is overrated.” Dear reader, you are missing the point. Take an example from your past – we have all done things, at times, we wish we had not done because it is against our believe system. Instead of trying to explain it away with situational ethics, “I had to lie to protect so-and-so’s feelings.” Just admit you lapsed, figure out why and go forward. Perhaps with this approach, instead of spending time and energy explaining and defending, to you or others, you will work on bringing your values in line with your actions.

Not sure how I can weave any whip cream into this post. Unless your moral compass forbids you from putting whip cream on body parts. And that is just good clean fun!