Cars, Bikinis and Cheesecake and a Wire Wisk

I was in the supermarket the other day, and I know I had to pick up a few things, but instead of doing the same routine (get cart, go through veggie isle first, go down isle 3 next, etc.), I just grabbed a hand-held basket and walked down isles randomly.

One of the isles I rarely ever travel down is the magazine isle. And so I am just looking randomly at the magazines. And the ones that first catch my attention are the auto magazines. There are like 50 thousand different auto mags, and they sort of all look alike to me. I mean, if not alike, very similar. Car or truck on the cover, with hot girl or girls in bikinis next to the vehicle or on top of the vehicle. My first thought is, "darn, I hope the hood is not hot because it will leave a nasty burn mark." And my next thought is, "Life is not fair."

Press release: life isn't fair. Yeah, I know, we have learned this all of our lives. But come on, the women have little to do with the cars (men's minds are thinking, "without the car, I can't get the bikini-clad hotties"). The target audience is men, and they get to look at eye candy.

And I don't think women have the same.

Here is what I want – I want a woman's hobby magazine to be more like men's car magazines (the cars are hobbies, aren't they?).

Okay, next time I am at the supermarket, I'd like to see a cover photo of a 22-year-old hunk with rippling muscles, Pyrex bowl covering his package, and the title, "Measuring up." I mean, I don't know if the measuring cup with make his wee-wee bigger or smaller. I was in physics in high school, and concave verses convex; I don't know what the different lenses do to images. But wouldn't you buy the magazine? I mean, for the recipes of course.

Or some cutie in an apron and nothing else, wisking some eggs, with the title, "Taste My Cream Sauce." I know, I know. This is not marketable. Women don't like to look at men. To that, I say under my voice, "B----hit."

You could have an article on glazes, and pics that would include a glaze on Orlando Blume. I mean, as long as we are being fair. You could have men talk about their favorite deserts, full of sexual innuendos. I am talking sexually playful, not hard core.

Now, I don't know what the car magazines are about, but it is still about the cars. The hobby. You would still need to write good articles with helpful info. But give us a bit of cheesecake to go along with the recipe. That's all I am asking.

Oh, and "There's a weasel chomping on my privates."