Friday, December 16, 2005

Lurker Fantasies

I was reading a blog the other day (by devilgyrl and Cannon_Fodder), and they called out all lurkers. I lurker is someone who reads but doesn't post. Now I don't want to call out lurkers at all. Why? What would happen if no one responded? I would need to double up on my medication. And I am not sure that would be a safe thing to do.

I like the idea of lurkers. I like to think that there are people reading me and not responding, so I can make up any number that I see fit. I can imagine thousands of lurkers reading me, laughing at my jokes, falling in love with my sweet personality. I have a good imagination. I don't want to know that I have 12 occasional lurkers who are in middle school and got to my site because they were hoping to see cum-soaked panties. If that is reality, I want my fantasy.

By the way, I was reading Ms. Peculiar (I am a lurker on her site, too). Funny thing is that my brain reads "particular" when I see "peculiar". Goodness, I hope none of you is a shrink. Anyway, her snow days post is absolutely beautiful. Sort of makes me want snow in Georgia, except I don't like to be cold.

What was I talking about? Fantasies? I know, you want me to talk about nylon rope and whipping cream, garter belts and crotchless panties. But I am talking about what is real verses what we think is real. Sort of.

A little while ago, I was in a public restroom on another floor. I heard someone talking on a cellular phone in the restroom. When I am talking to someone on the phone, I have a fantasy – that they are giving me their undivided attention. The reason I bring this up is that I flushed the toilet – and the toilet sort of freaked out. It kept flushing and flushing. Loudly. And all I could think was, "This person on the phone is busted because the flushing was so loud, the person on the other end of the phone had to know she was in the Ladies' Room."

When people are calling me, I expect their undivided attention. I don't want them to be using the restroom, masturbating, cleaning the kitchen floors. I know, a fantasy. Actually I sometimes wonder if the telemarketers are masturbating while trying to make me buy something. I mean, they seem to be saying, "Hello, ah, ah, Leesa." So are they masturbating or are they looking for my name on their computer screens. Impossible to say for sure. But then again, it is my fantasy.


kathi said...

When I think of lurkers, I think of those guys that sit in the shadows and watch the girl dancing (or whatever) behind the glass and keep feeding it money when the curtian closes.
Hmmmmmm, I don't think I get lurkers. In fact, lol, I think if I did, they'd be paying to keep the curtian closed. :)

Andy said...

I'd rather be a poster than a lurker, so I've come out of the shadows as it were. Well not really, as I never was in the shadows, but you get the point.

Love the blog, thanks; hope you don't mind me stopping by.


Georgiapeach said...

One way you find out you have lurkers is if you go by their site and they have you as a link. I see you name and Ddot's name all over the place on people sites that never comment.

Joe said...

I find it impossible to imagine that anyone could do anything other than give you their undivided attention when their fortunate enough to be speaking to you.

Prata said...

I am incapable of giving a person my full attention. I'm a multi-tasker by nature and so if I'm on the phone, I'm usually typing pieces of Sakura and listening to music while off and on reading something.

However, I have that problem in all things. As I'm typing this I'm having a conversation with a co-worker about some screens for an application bein' pushed to the nursing floors. Eh. And there's that.

You know though, I get a lot of lurkers on Kuei-jin.Org...and no one ever leaves comments. I mean one or two people but that's about it. It's a shame really, because I value input about what is good or not so I can improve. No one helps me with that lol It blows.

MexJet007 said...

As a telemarketer, I can assure you that our policy manual clearly spells out that masturbation while soliciting can lead to discipline up to and including termination.

Heather Gemmen said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Byron said...

I wish i could just be a lurker of life....i started hating the acion...anyway u write beautifully

devilgyrl said...

It was just an Idea the I got from another blog that I read all the time. After re-reading the post though I did realize that it came off really badly. *sighs* I certianly didn't mean for it to be harsh.

But anyway, it was just a curiosity thing. Nothing more. But I have always been told that "curiosity kills the cat"

~Deb said...

I was a lurker on your site for quite some time. Then I decided, I'm coming out of the closet. I know that I am a Leesasexual. So I did, and met a wonderful person, with creative and wonderful stories.

Uhhmm ... wait... @*@$&) Errr... hard 2 typ3 wit 1 h4nd. you know. ;)

Honey-Libra said...

First time at the spot and I will def be back. yea I was on the phone the other day with one of my close friends and she asked me why I had her on speaker phone I said cause I'm peeing...she almost had a fit well not a fit but she informed me if I was a guy that she would be disgusted LOL

Video X said...

i really don't understand the big deal about lurkers either. people will even post their IP addresses and stuff trying to call them out. i've been a lurker...that never makes me come out of "lurking" status..(whatever that means). i dont track any of that crap. i don't care.

haha!!!!! you would hate me...well...i actually only do this to my sister...but still...sometimes if i'm in the bathroom i call her cuz i have a minute to talk. and it's boring. but i only do it to her. unless it's something that bothers someone i'm that case i make sure i'm in the bathroom as well (if they make a big deal out of it). wonder i'm still single! :)

Prata said...

Not that posting someone's ip address is useful for any reason other than having some random machine on the network that the ip address belongs to is broken into or harassed. Of course you can't be certain that an ip address belongs to anyone anyhow. AOL uses a proxy service which makes this a useless endeavor. Also, people doing home networking will simply remain invisible especially since a large majority of users A) don't know their own ip address and B) these machines swap addresses approximately every 8 hours with no record of previous ip address save for maybe the MAC on the end of cable services which is held on the DHCP server.

Well if you're a cable may be boned if your machine is never off for very long..since dhcp usually has a bit of a wait time on it before the ip address recirculates to another machine..but still. Many users are a little bit more aware because of viruses and what not.....although it does make it easier knowing a user has cable..because you can narrow a subnet down based upon location..for instance will largely only use so much of a particular subnet since cable networks exist in large nodes. Gleeful gleeful.

~Deb said...

Oh my sweet LAWD prata! You work in IT, don't you????????????? ADMIT IT! hehehehehee!

KyuBall said...

I'm a big lurker. Sometimes, I just don't have a comment to post, so why waste space by regurgitating some salutation. But, that's me.

I also had a situation in the company restroom similar to yours. I walk in, and there's a customer rep talking to a client on this hands free, standing at the urinal. He finished before I did and tried to leave without flushing...unfortuately, I purposely flushed before he could get out.

Yes, I AM a dick.

mal said...

I am thinking that the next time a telemarketer calls you, that should be an opportunity for you to talk dirty to them. I LIKE IT *L*

Prata said...

Yes ma'am I do. Linux Network/System Administrator by trade. I am currently an Operations Analyst for the BJC Healthcare System. So..yeah there's that ~Deb. ^_^

Anything you'd like to know in particular? *chuckles*

Monica said...

Wow, after Prata, I forgot what I wanted to say. Something about my propensity for stalking---uhh err I mean lurking before I speak. I love to watch without being seen. I also love to know I'm being watched, but that's a whole other thing. entirely.
This was a whole lot more coherent before I ead Prata's whole spiel and tried to understand it, just in case it was something important I need to remember.

halo said...

Self professed lurker here too. Im sure we all have people who read us and dont comment, honestly, it doesnt bother me, Im happy whether I get 1 or 40. Infact, to many comments and I get sorta freaked out, cause then I feel I should go to their sites and say thanks.

Ohh the

Boris Yeltsin said...

Love your writing. I've never been a lurker. If I like someone's site, I'll comment. If I don't like their site, I don't.

BTW: I'm not trying to shamelessly plug something of mine - I would have e-mailed you to tell you, but I don't know how. Anyway, you've inspired me to dabble in writing erotica, even though my blog will always be primarily political.

I'd love your brutally honest input.

kathi said...

Have a wonderful Christmas, many hugs!

Leesa said...

kathi: okay, you have more experience than I do. And thanks for the hugs.

joe: love you stopping by, thanks.

prata: I would have guessed that about you, I mean needing to do three things at once.

MexJet007: clever!

heather: nice to "meet you"; oh, crap, you are an editor.

byron: sometimes lurking is nice. Thanks for the compliment.

devilgyrl: sweetie, I did not think your lurking post was bad at all. I just don't want to know who lurks on my site (again, so I can fantasize).

~deb: You are such a clever girl!

vid x & prata: y'all are scaring me with this IP talk.

KyuBall: love the pee story; aren't all pee stories fun and discusting at the same time.

mallary: I once was a telemarketer many years ago, and I got the dirty talkers talking to me.

monica: you and me both.

Honey-Libra: funny pee story! And thanks for the compliment.

vid x and prata: now you are scaring me.

KyuBall: aren't pee stories always fun!

mal: I actually was a telemarketer once. Maybe that will be tomorrow's post.

monica: me, too.

muse: same here. I lurk on your site too.

boris: I don't mind plugs at all, and thanks, I am honored.

Prata said...


Why would you guess that about me? The many things at once thing I mean..what tipped ya off? lol

Leesa said...

prata: I just think you can't keep your mind from thinking about one thing at a time.

malita said...

Ha! Yeah I've commented on friend's blogs just never participated - till now! Thanks for the welcome.