Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The "No Post" Post

I am an idiot.

Here I am, middle of the day, and I thought I posted today. Guess what? I didn't. Blogger did not eat my post (big surprise); I simply did not post today. Not at all, and I thought I posted. I come back to read my comments, and, well, no new post. Crap.

And I have nothing to talk about.

Yesterday, I was reading ~Deb's blog, and I made the following comment:

Mike: Damn....you sure attract the wack jobs with their little hidden agendas. The Bible was written by men, not God. Although they may have been inspired by God I wish he/she had written it them self.

Leesa: You stated that "The Bible was written by men, not God." Actually, I think the Bible may have been written by highly intelligent ferrets.

I had to include Mike's comment because, well, I responded to Mike, not ~Deb. I responded to ~Deb earlier, trying to get her to leave M for me – but that is not going to happen. Sure, she would make out with me in the Tupperware® isle of Wal-Mart (actually I think they have Tupperware® substitutes), but she is not leaving M. The religious right would have you think that lesbians can't commit; darned religious right because they are wrong about this one.

Anyway, why was I recycling a comment I made yesterday when I have nothing to write about today? Er, to waste space? Can't be. I would not write a line just to waste a line of space. I am not getting paid by the word. Ever wonder why Moby Dick was so darned thick - Herman Melville was paid by the word! Really. Trust me – don't Google it!

Here is what I don't understand. The Cincinnati Bengals have set up a jerk hotline. From the article: "Cincinnati Bengals fans annoyed by bad behavior in the stands can now report it by cell phone. The hot line number should be easy to remember - (513) 381-JERK.

Fans using too much foul language will get a warning from stadium security. Those who continue could be ejected and have their season tickets and personal seat licenses taken away. More serious offenses could lead to arrest."

And I am not giving you the first two paragraphs of the article to waste space – it is just too important of a topic.

Here is what I don't understand – okay, the Cincinnati Bengals are getting tough on jerks (which I support), but isn't it the Cincinnati Bengals that have players going to jail on a weekly basis. I am not going to Google the Bengals, but I don't know why they don't have a number to call if you find Bengals players breaking the law.

Yeah, more than a page! Yeah! I wish I got paid by the word. I would never have to work another day in my life.

Edit: VX is right. The Bengals don't have one player per week arrested. Here is the list:

Eric Steinbach
G
Boating under the influence


Chris Henry
WR
unlawful transaction with a minor (three counts, will stand trial in September), speeding, operating a vehicle under the influence, felony possession of a concealed firearm, possession of marijuana


Frostee Rucker
DE
Spousal battery


A.J. Nicholson
LB
Burglary, grand theft


Matthias Askew
DT
Resisting arrest


Odell Thurman
LB
League substance abuse policy violation

16 comments:

Tony said...

I'm glad you were able to fill in a page of "No Post" material. I'll do my part to fill in the 'no Post comment" section.
Thanks.

When I lived in Ohio I went to some Red's games but never any Bengals games.

Anonymous said...

Well, do you think you covered enough...I think the only 2 words you didn't use were "chocolate" and "sauce".

Unknown said...

Hmmm, lets see...

Bible - Don't want to get too deep, especially here, but I believe it was inspired by God but man has a really hard time in his interpretation. I have friends and relatives that want to take every word literally without even taking into consideration that even Jesus talked in parables...

Deb - I would dress up like a woman MYSELF if I thought Deb would make out with me on the Tupperware Isle of Wal-Mart! It's not just the Religious Right that has a problem with their thinking on people's sexual preference. Try living in Alabama!

Bengals - Who cares? Now the Braves are what I'm worrying about right now... And it won't be long until the Crimson Tide starts rolling again! Go Bama!

Jerk Hotline - I need one of those when I'm driving on the interstate... Oh yeah, I'd have to turn myself in for calling on the cell phone while driving!

Last of all, I think you should be paid by the word... I'll put it in the suggestion box! Love reading your posts!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Wow...great post for nothing to talk about! :)

Leesa said...

VX: Sorry to slam the Bengals. I really don't know much about the team.

tony: thanks for the words in the comments section.

chris: I am sure Stacy is talking about chocolate today. Maybe.

~gkw: actually the jerk line is sort of clever. It was on the radio when I was writing, and well, it got incorporated into the post.

stacy: thanks, doll!

Chas Chesterfield Esq. said...

Sadly Ol' Melville died in obscurity and poverty. His opus never sold its first edition of 3,000 copies. It earned less than $600 for its publisher. Common knowledge this, but for the record and all.

This tidbid of history was brought to you by BP: We do for the Alaskan Countryside what Exxon did for Prince William Sound.

Pittchick said...

I'm a Steelers fan all the way, so I don't care about the bengals. They have a crappy record anyway.

Leesa said...

cc: interesting facts.

dna: Didn't the Steelers and the Bengals have the same record last year - but the Steelers won the Superbowl and the Bengals may have been "one and done."

LeperColony said...

You're now getting comment spam. That's a major sign of widening readership. You have arrived.

Leesa said...

VX: I had no idea. Thanks - I don't know much about Ohio.

askinstoo: thanks for the spam.

leper: I had a lot of comment spam a while back. Thought it had gone away.

United We Lay said...

You don't have to post daily, you know! If yo force yourself to do that you might eventually suffer from blog burnout.

Leesa said...

united: I have OCD. I have to post daily, when at work.

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