Tuesday, August 15, 2006

More on Sex

Okay, I wrote something yesterday, and I got reactions on each side of the isle. And then I started pondering things. You know, I tend to write one page on most topics for two reasons – (1) it is hard enough for me to be "on topic" for one paragraph, more or less page, and (2) my readers don't need more than a page of my writing per day. This is a blog, not a book.

But I said something yesterday that needed explaining; and I did not explain what I mean. I said that men need sex, and to my surprise, men were questioning me. My first reaction was, "hey, you are not trying to bed me so please tell the truth." Then my next reaction was "what the heck?" I really wanted to use the "F word" but I was not that passionate about the thought. I was a tired Leesa yesterday.

So last night, when I was fucking my hubbie. Just joking. We did not do it last night, and I don't think about bloggers when I am getting it on with him. I mean, I have other things to think about, like giving him directions. I mean, you know, my clitoris does not move from one location to another, but directions are sometimes needed.

Okay, I really want to delete the last paragraph, but I am afraid if I do, I will not meet my one page. Crap.

Anyway, when I said that guys want sex, I was not really saying that they are only interested in their own orgasms. When I was in my twenties, I really thought that's all guys wanted. Their own orgasm, which is silly because a sock doesn't demand nearly as much as I do and a sock will give him an orgasm each and every time. No weeks off when "the aunt visits." But I did not know men. I had been in some relationships, but no long term sexual relationships. So all of my experience was tied to brief encounters. Perhaps "tied" was not the word I really wanted to use there.

So the men were just happy to be getting some, and I did not know what I was doing either. We did not learn each other at all; again in my early years.

Even when I was just married, I thought that men just wanted sex, because when my man had sex, I got more romance, more attention, more everything that makes my heart pitter-patter. But, years into my marriage I figured it out. [I am such a dolt.] Men derive more pleasure from giving pleasure than they do by receiving pleasure (at least in a committed relationship). My man would get puffy-chested after loving me so well, regardless of what he experienced. And lets face it, men get an orgasm every time they cum. But sex still the thing that gets him to connect with me. I am not talking about sex all of the time. But through sex, he seems to become more sensitive, more caring, more in touch with his feelings. And not because he experiences an orgasm.

Now one thing that gets me – all of these erectile dysfunction drug (Viagra, Levitra and Cialis) ads on television. I did not know that erectile dysfunction was a huge problem – okay, huge is not the word that I should have used. Unintentional, but now I have the giggles. These commercials make me think that erectile dysfunction is a major problem in the United States. Either that or finally someone has thought about marketing a drug that you need to take every time you want to get it on. I can see them in the board room of a pharmaceutical company. Okay, we need a drug for horny guys. We have found that horny guys have lots of cash. And the little guy in the corner with the nerdy glasses and the nasal voice says, "We could find a drug that helps with ED. Horny guys that can't have an erection every time will pay a premium for bigger erections." And the guy continued, "There is this one drug that was developed for pulmonary arterial hypertension; thing is, one side effect was that the men all got these massive woodies."

Okay, off point. I start thinking about woodies and don't know what the crap I was thinking about. Was it men that were all about sex?


Witness said...

It's a complicated thing. I know you weren't insinuating this, but I don't think all men want sex and all women want romance or that all men get more pleasure out of giving or vice-versa. You can never relegate things to a simple saying in truth, but there are certainly some commonalities found in both genders.
I think it's more of a trained gender act that we play out than simple genetic hard-wiring.
Guys want sex all the time like maniacs and women have to hold out for more.
Why? Because mommy and daddy warned us that's how it is, women expect love and not just sex, guys are walking hardons, etc, etc.
It's all garbage of course because there are women who want sex all the time and men who want love and tokens of affection.
Thank goodness for individuality.

Tony said...

It's a power play. At least in my situation it is. I love the feeling of being able to provide sooo much pleasure to a woman. To know that I can treat her and stimulate her in such a way that she wants to come back for more is almost overwhelming. I love giving pleasure. I love it when my wife get's hers first and I feel awkward if we have sex and I get mine and she doesn't, even though she tells me that it's ok.
I understand that often times sex is not about the orgasm, but about the intimacy.

Regarding ED. I posted somewhere, either as a comment here or in my own blog regarding the use of ED drugs for recreation. I use them when I know we're going to be doing some serious f**king. The several times in few hours kind, or the weekend with the kids at grandma's and we run around the house naked, kind. I don't have any sort of problem so the drugs aren't required for the occasional, once a day type activity. However, at my advanced age, going (cuming, actually) more than twice in a one our period becomes hard (or should I say, soft?)

Prata said...

Thank you for that clarification there Leesa. I was rather insulted and ready to drive down there and nuclearize the entire state. I'm just sayin'.

Okay not really, but you know how that goes. ^_^

Rick said...

So glad you touched on woodies, there at the end. Sometimes that's all it takes. ;-)

Edtime Stories said...

it is funny we all want sex and we all want romance, in differing amounts and at different times. Partly it is biological and partly it is social. I have seen an explosion in recent years of women exerting their sexuality in ways they haven't before because of the freedom of the internet.

It is all complicated and made worse by a society that can't seem to come to grips with a nature part of the human condition.

Oh and Leesa...what makes you think we aren't trying to bed you ;)

Edtime Stories said...

it is funny we all want sex and we all want romance, in differing amounts and at different times. Partly it is biological and partly it is social. I have seen an explosion in recent years of women exerting their sexuality in ways they haven't before because of the freedom of the internet.

It is all complicated and made worse by a society that can't seem to come to grips with a nature part of the human condition.

Oh and Leesa...what makes you think we aren't trying to bed you ;)

Advizor said...

I think your clarification was right on point. I can get off on my own with ever I want, in fact, most days I do, it's simple, easy, and has a real calming effect on the rest of my day. So, when I have sex, that's not the only goal. Granted, it's a wonderful final touch, but it's really not the goal for me. I'm in Tony's camp on this one. It's always the biggest rush when I can help my wife cum. Last night, in fact (big grin), we had sex and it was wonderful all around. I know that yesterday I was saying that I don't like "obligation sex" but Monday night is sex-night at my house so it was good that I was home for it. The kids got in bed on time, our little one fell asleep, and we had locked the bedroom door by 10:15. Without going in to the details here on Leesa's site, I was able to help her cum first. It doesn't happen every time, but just hearing her climax, knowing that I helped it happen, was an enormous rush for me. Maybe it's my sexual ego talking, but I like knowing that I can get her off, that I can bring her pleasure since she can certainly do it for me. After feeling her finish (since, from my angle, I couldn't see much ;;nudge-nudge wink-wink;;) the rest of the time was just technicalities. I went to sleep knowing that she was happy, satisfied, and for the moment, content. That's when sex is great.

Keep up the good work Leesa!

If anyone enjoys "the details" I think I'll write a post on my one site with more.....

Advizor said...

Tom Lycas (sp?) a drive-time DJ hit it on the head when he said that (and I paraphrase) "Both Men and Women are insatiable. Men want more and more sex, women want more and more attention and emotion." I will have as much sex and my wife offers, and she will take as much "romance" and I can come up with. The problem is that the thing each person needs, is controlled by the other party. We are at the mercy of the "other" to fill our needs, but that which we want, isn't what the other is prone to give, so tension exists.

Cinderella said...

I'm sorry, I can't seem to concentrate....did you say something? =)

Haaaaaaa said...

I think the rise of ED drugs is tied to rise of clog veins, obesity, and heart disease in general. When the blood ain't flowing, you're not getting it up.

gone said...

To be honest I think of sex as our solar system must think of the sun. Without it there is no point (with or without Cialis). If it doesn't rise in the morning all bright and hot, I know it's going to be a bad day.
Everything a guy does is completely tied to his pecker (I like that word; primary, yet of substance).
So there you go. My pecker gives me direction. If it was to fall off someday, I would wander aimlessly until I found it or some kind soul gave me another.

your said...

phentermine nice :)

~Deb said...

I had to read your last post to really understand this hetero stuff...hehehe.... BUT...I have to ask you a question here... Isn't it true, that for "some" men, even if they do cum, they *may not* have an orgasm? (just bugging your technicalities here)

I think even for heteros, and homos like myself, (as some people would phrase that as "heathens", ;) ....I think that the first honeymoon years of marriage or partnership are the courting stages. After that, you need effort.

Effort = liqour.

Edtime Stories said...

I have ejaculated without a full orgasm, but I think it was due in part to some medication I was taking. It was weird to have it happen and it was only for a brief period of time.

~Deb said...

Well the only reason I said that, was because I know a friend who has this problem---without medication. So, all in all, men 'can' cum without an orgasm.

Go figure--a lesbian knows this! Who woulda' thunk???

JD said...

i've experienced that somewhat lately, the cumming without orgasm thing. it's kinda strange, but cool at the same time, since i can usually have a real orgasm with more cumming. it's almost like a female's mutliple orgasm, i guess. the first time is like a mini version and is a buildup to the second. maybe too much info for here, but since Deb brought it up, so to speak, lol. that's what she gets for being the hottest lesbian i know. ;)

great post Leesa, very interesting. and i agree with you. :)