Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Your Angel is a Centerfold

I may have mentioned this before, but when I was growing up, me and my friends would look at Playboy at other people's houses. My parents did not subscribe to the magazine, but a lot of houses on the block did. And when we were growing up, this was a source for our sexual education. Most of our parents did not talk about sex, and I did not have any slutty friends who had sex yet, so we poured over the pages of Playboy to get answers on the mysteries of sex.

And part of what we were doing, is projecting who we would be in a few short years. We would see these tanned women, purportedly in their early twenties, and they looked like Venus coming out of her orb (please see the Botticell painting for references). We wanted to be these women, and I think each of us assumed that our bodies would develop into copies of the images we were viewing. For most of us, this was not sexual; it was educational. And we would read about them as well; we mostly turned the centerfold over to get a summary of her qualities. For instance:

BIRTHPLACE: Savannah, Georgia USA

BUST: 36"

WAIST: 25"

HIPS: 35"

HEIGHT: 5' 2"

WEIGHT: 138 lbs

AMBITIONS: To become so successful as a novelist that my likeness appears on the Simpsons. Orlando Bloom will call me, hoping to have sex with me so I can write about the experience.

TURN-ONS: Massages, fondue parties, intelligent men, humble people, nice smiles, saxophones in jazz clubs, and sunsets on the Riviera.

TURNOFFS: Dishonesty, apathy, egotistical people and jealousy.

FAVORITE CITY: Having traveled through Europe, I appreciate all cultures, but Venice, Italy remains my favorite because it's so tranquil.
[Playboy was always Euro-centric; imagine knowing the world by traveling around Europe.]

FAVORITE AUTHOR: Mystery writer Agatha Christie. [The women always picked an author who was popular or one a high school English reading list.]

FAVOITE MOVIES: Breakfast at Tiffany's and My Fair Lady. Audrey Hepburn is who I aspire to be.

I'M PARTICULARLY WILD ABOUT: Mountains in the springtime; sitting around a campfire while someone plays a guitar; listening to the world wake up on a camping trip.

Over time, we found out that our bodies did not become airbrushed, our boobs were not exactly the same size, and we did not lie around in nothing but rabbit ears and panties with fluffy tails. We became real. Sometimes I wonder what men want – the fantasy or the reality. Would it be better for us to be the bunny or the wife?


Mike said...

Wow...I think I read that profile once.

mal said...

*L* yup, realistic representations....

Do men want the reality or the fantasy? I suspect if the fantasy became the reality they would find that as monotonous

Grant said...

Although I approve of woman wearing nothing more than bunny ears, I stopped finding the women in Playboy attractive when I hit my early twenties. One day I looked at a centerfold and thought "She looks like a mannequin." I'll take a real woman over that any day, especially if she's Japanese.

RolandOD said...

I've been reading your blog for a couple of days now, WOW! I'm still waiting for my fantasy to morph into my reality, until then I'll live with my wife of seventeen years. I'm very patient) and she blurs the lines somedays. Keep writing your provocative insights.

Tony said...

I'd take the wife over the bunny any day. Just 'cause the bunny looks good doesn't mean they diddly about sex. The wife knows what I like and often becomes the bunny so we can do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. {to steal a line from a song}. Besides, that bunny looks good for just an instant in time while a wife looks good forever.

Edge said...

This must be a difficult dilemma for women, be the fantasy or be who you are. Although men can fall into the same dilemma, the man she wants me to be or the man I am. The danger, I guess, is letting someone who wants to sell magazines tell me what I should be or should not be. Honestly, ... I want a little of both but mostly reality. There is nothing more dishonest than a woman ( or man ) pretending to be something they aren't in life or in bed. I've told my wife over and over NEVER fake an orgasm. It's just dishonest. If she's over weight or her boobs are small or she has scars or whatever, that's her. But we both can provide the fantasy for each other. Sexy lingerie, a little dirty talk, a little more foreplay or a special mood. I guess I'm trying to say, physically, men shouldn't expect the centerfold, but we should both want to add a little more fantasy emotinally and mentally.


Prata said...

Although I'm probably not one that should be commenting on this particular post, given that I'm a little odd (shhh...Grant is watching), I'll go with a shot at it. As a man (of 26) Playboy was never all that interesting to me. I've had a pretty good image of the girl I've wanted to settle down and marry since I was young teenager. I'll blog it now. This comment will get lengthy. ^_^

Leesa said...

mike: All profiles are alike.

mal: understand completely.

grant: mannequin - that's what they are. I could not put my finger on it.

rolandod: thanks for reading. I hope my writing improves.

tony: campaigning for man of the year, I see.

jef: ouch. those absolutes. never do this nor that.

prata: I can't wait to read it.

minijonb said...

what? all women don't have boobs that are exactly the same size? you're kidding me, right?

Edtime Stories said...

I think it is interesting that Playboy is still a powerful image of women. I think men are taught to want it all. The virgin and the whore.

As for me I like a body that looks and feels real. That isn't about fooling the eye. For me the biggest turn on is a good mind and someone who can own themselves. That doesn't come across the pages of a magazine.

I think you have written a wonderful study of one of the biggest problems facing women, the so-called ideal versus the reality.

Bruce said...

It's the objectification of women as a result of things like Playboy, Penthouse, and porn that has led many men to thinking that their fantasies can become reality. And this is where the problem lies; I was like that when I was a lot younger and then I grew up and entered the real world. Those women are, 9 times out of 10, about as real as the silicone in their breasts. I'll take a real woman, faults and all, 25 hours a day, 8 days a week.

Leesa said...

minijonb: funny man!

ed: well said, sweetie!

~Deb said...

All my life, I looked at 'the perfect woman', but in reality, I always went for women who were 'well rounded', ...or 'curvy'. I never really went after women who were too thin or too tall. I love them short, curvy, and some even more voluptuous than the norm.

Rob said...

So, do we get to vote on this Leesa? Then my preference is that you lie around in just your panties; the bunny ears and fluffy tail (that's not code for anything, is it?) never did that much for me!

I know -- I'm REALLY shallow... ;-)

Josie said...

Leesa, are those your measurements? We must be twins. I am also 36-25-35, but I am 5'3 and I weigh 130. And I once wanted to be a Playboy bunny (not a centrefold).

Bunny or wife? At this stage I don't want to be either of those. If I had my choice I would be the owner of the magazine. But no matter what, most men still can't help looking at women as anything but objects.

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Panty Fiend said...


I would love for you to be my centerfold... :)

Leesa said...

~deb: You said, "All my life, I looked at 'the perfect woman'". I assume you were looking in the mirror, hun.

rob: please don't vote on me.

josie: I know what you mean about objects.

panty: thanks, sweetie.

jody said...

I like my women real