Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Thanks, Nicole

I was reading an article on the Nicole Richie-Paris Hilton cat fight, and the following just blew my mind:

"Nothing people say really bothers me, but that bothers me because I wouldn’t want somebody younger than me, someone who looks up to me, to believe it," Richie said.

Okay, this is disappointing on several fronts:

1. I am writing about Paris Hilton. Ewww. I never thought I would make a comment that had anything to do with this bitch-whore.

2. I am a woman, and these two women highlight everything that is wrong with our fair sex.

3. Look at the words she uses. Again, I know, I am a word whore. But look at this – she is commenting on what others are saying and she says, "Nothing people say really bothers me" but this does. It is like saying "I don't eat Klondike bars." But you have a chocolate smudge on your face and the wrapper in your hand.

Ms. Richie, you care very much what others say. You know you do.

When I make an entrance at a party, I can say, "I don't care what others think about the way I look" but darn-it, I want the waiter to drop a tray because I am just that gorgeous. I want the 19-year-old hunk to whistle at me. I do.

Then the article says:

"I want our wedding to be huge. And I want everyone to come, and I want it to be the happiest day of my life," she [Nicole Richie] said.

Nicole, sweetie, you want everyone to come and talk about how freakin' beautiful you are. And that's why you dropped your weight. Sure, you are busy, but it is not like you are forgetting to eat. She claims she is dropping weight because she is so busy, and her father suggested it is because she is nervous about the wedding.

And sweet Nichole threw her father under the bus. How can you throw your father under the bus? And someone who sang "All Night Long," "Penny Lover," "Stuck On You," "Love Will Find A Way," "Running With The Night" and "Hello." Your father was a mellow dude, Nichole.

Oh, Nichole, I hope Paris scratches your eyes out. And I think Paris is a bitch-whore.


Mark said...

Two women that we could live without. In fact, if we could take all the fucking $$ spent on them, by them, about them, and made from them, and do something good with it, we'd be better off.

Zephalius said...

Leesa, sorry to post a comment that's got nothing to do with your post, but I thought you'd enjoy this article:

Thomas said...

Seeing you all fired up about some tabloid tart is so damn alluring, perhaps it's because of the flush in your cheeks that reminds me of how hard you cum on my big, thick cock, or perhaps it's the string of profanities that remind me of how you sound while you're cumming on my cock. Either way, I move behind you and kiss all along the nape of your neck. Tilting your head back, you say, "You're not helping, Thomas." but only half-heartedly. When my strong hands caress your breasts through your shirt, you make only a hiss noise at first, then in a near-whine you moan, "But I had a great rant going..." Standing you from your chair, I bend you over so you're restin your elbows on the desk, looking back at me in the reflection of the monitor. "You know," you ask seductively, "we're both trying to be better than this." Pulling your sweatpants and underwear down in one motion, I reply, "I know" even as I help you step out of just one leg. Any conscious thought dissolves as you feel the big head of my cock parts your anticipatory wet labia.

"Fuck," you think to yourself, "why does it have to feel so good."

Samantha said...

Wow! Very hott!!

Okay...I've been trying to pinpoint what your writing reminds me of, and I've got it. I just finished reading a book called, "The Bride Stripped Bare" (and I'm forgetting who wrote it). Anyways, you definitely have the same voice and sense of self as the main character. Really great!

About Nic and Paris...just shoot them. In the words of D. Versace (regarding P. Hilton), "Who is she anyways?? The Hiltons are NOTHING."

Leesa said...

I have never read The Bride Stripped Bare, but here is what had to say about it: "A woman disappears, leaving behind an incendiary diary chronicling a journey of sexual awakening. To all who knew her, she was the good wife: happy, devoted, content. But the diary reveals a secret self, one who's discovered that her new marriage contains mysteries of its own. She has discovered a forgotten Elizabethan manuscript that dares to speak of what women truly desire, and inspired by its revelations, she tastes for the first time the intoxicating power of knowing what she wants and how to get it. The question is: How long can she sustain a perilous double life?"

I love the first paragraph: Your husband doesn't know you're writing this. It's quite easy to write it under his nose. Just as easy, perhaps, as sleeping with other people. But no one will ever know who you are, or what you've done, for you've always been seen as the good wife.

Sam, thanks for the wonderful comment. And thomas, you sound like I fucked you in my past. Have you nailed anyone in Savannah?

Thomas said...

No, I've been very faithful in body.

In rich fantasy, however, I am a lothario of Presidential proportions.

mal said...

Nicole and Paris....personifications of the Spoiled Rich. Lots of money and useless human beings. Something wrong with that picture.

Thanks for stopping by *S*

Storm said...

LOL! I feel the exact same way about these two. They need to get a life!

Video X said...

"...I hope Paris scratches your eyes out..."...THAT IS F'ING HILARIOUS. i have an image of you ranting about nicole and's pretty damn funny.

i'm sure the 19 year olds probably drop their trays for you. now i want them to do it for me too!

Quiet Man said...

Mmmm. Klondike bars!