Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Slut Radar

Anyone who has read all of my posts can piece together the following:

1. I started out a fairly good Catholic girl.
2. I got married and was a good Catholic wife.
3. I got lost, had mucho sex, and now feel bad about it.
4. I am now becoming a good Catholic wife again.

What I will talk about today is a transformation that occurred in me from being "fairly normal" to slut-de-jour.

After I had seven or eight different men in the course of a year, I developed a sense for the good boys and the bad boys. A sense I never had before. I know, some call it some super power, but it was more like a different sense. I could just hold a conversation with someone, and sort of tell if that person would easily bed. And I thought of it as slut radar.

I can remember vividly meeting someone at the shop where I worked, talking about whatever, and knowing inside of ten minutes if I made some excuse to go to my office for "some paperwork", if he would follow. If he did, chances were high that by the end of the hour, he would have used one of my condoms that I kept in my filing cabinet under "P." The P was for personal, but I guess subconsciously, it could have been for penis.

And I think they could sense it as well. At work with co-workers, it had to be more subtle. Complaining that the hubbie would be out-of-town on the weekend and my car really needed an oil change. Yeah, I got the free oil change, but that was not all that was greased and lubed that weekend.

I have gotten some personal e-mails since I have been blogging, and I know exactly who have more liberal strike zones, if you know what I mean. Sorry, baseball playoffs (people go ape over Atlanta around here, mostly for the second round of the play-offs). I am sure if I had a business trip to Minnesota, for instance, I could make some kind of excuse to visit a photographer friend who would do me if his wife went to a neighbors to borrow sugar. Just the way things go.

I do believe that this slut radar that I have developed is still working. I am in a very administrative position, but I have been asked several times to attend conferences. For my job, there is no reason for me to network. A reward, they say. But the various managers and I both know all they really want is an opportunity to spend a few hours of hot sex with the office slut. Not that I am a slut now, but I think I still probably give off the subtle aroma of a girl that has done a few things she wish she hadn't.

So playboys, beware, my slut radar can sense you coming a mile away. Although you just promise a staple through the navel and instant fame, all you really want is to nail something.

21 comments:

Ddot the King said...

Can you sense what kind of guy THE KING is through my blog and my comments? I'm anxious to know what you think. Anyway I think that I have some version of this radar as well. I can pick a freak out from a mile away!

Mark said...

Leesa -- My wife started out as a good Catholic girl and she married me. I've never met an office slut, though I did see our former administrative secretary at a wet-t-shirt contest (at an adult drive-in, no less) many, many years ago.

Classy Diva said...

So Leesa, what is it exactly that made you turn from a good Catholic wife, to a lost soul, and back to a good Catholic wife?

Video X said...

right on! do they really think some women dont know what's going on? ha! i know i'm not as good at it as you, but still, i can tell most of the time. i think i'm not as confident as you so that's part of it.

"one of my condoms that I kept in my filing cabinet under "P." The P was for personal, but I guess subconsciously, it could have been for penis."

THAT WAS HILARIOUS!

Mark said...

Just so long as you didn't file them afterwards under U, for used...

Leesa said...

ddot: I think you are sweet. Sorry, but I don't think you are a freak (a good thing).

mark: okay, the admin asst is at a wet T-shirt contest in an adult theater. Hmmmmmmm. She certainly can't be an office slut. Hmmmmmmm.

Diva: Still trying to figure that one out. I am on track, though.

video x: I wish I were less confident.

markie: I have OCD, what do you think I did? Tie them off, put them in a #10 envelope, and put them in the trash.

murphy said...

I'm familiar with what you're talking about.. but the first time I've ever seen someone write about it.. and yes I got here from some other blog.

Try being the incognito male office slut... much more difficult to not just be perceived as an 'asshole' instead of someone you want to travel with.

halo said...

I know those playboys well. They used to bother me, now I just look at em with pity.

Georgiapeach said...

I probably can may be perceived as slutty. But I love attention and men. I think I have an advantage over a lot of women. I am confident and secure with my sexuality. I like that it oozes right off of me. Trust me, I have done my thing with men in the past. No, I am not always proud of it. But it definitley has helped me become the person I am today. Fun and Free!

kathi said...

God, I love you. We've got to be related, I just can't figure out how. I love your honesty and your humor.

Storm said...

Ugh! I am very well versed when it comes to playboys too. I have had my fair share of them.

Lisa said...

Wow. That was intense. I love how non-chalantly you laid that out for us. Just--bam! There it is. I got a little of that out of my system before I married, but daaaaaaaaamn is it hard some days...

You're fabulous. I'm in love!

Brea said...

I need an asshole radar - that is all I seem to date these days.

ken said...

hilarious on tqarget thoughts....LOVE your comment brea!
what a wonderful way to begin the day, smiling and pondering! thanks leesa!

Slut Betty said...

hehehe... slut radar... I like that! Great post as per usual Leesa ;-)

Thomas said...

We all have triggers, things that drive us from the lives we are proud of and towards the behaviors that, while arouse us, shame us.

The important thing is to understand yourself and your triggers.

I've never crossed the line, although I can contemplated it several times. I just know that while I'd sate some animal part of me that wants to "nail" some woman, not only would I be disrespecting her, I'd be disrespecting me as well. All that doesn't take into account how hurt and marginalized my spouse would feel, having our love spit at, stomped on and treated like crap all in the name of "a good lay". I would expect to live my life in shame and revulsion at my own actions towards someone with who I made a sacred vow and know I have no way of healing her heart I so callously ruined.

Depeche Mode's song "Question of Trust" sums up my reasons for not cheating: "It's a question of lust, it's a question of trust, it's a question of not letting what we've built just crumble to dust. It is all of these things and more that keep us together."

Leesa said...

all: I am touched with all of your posts; loved reading them, but I do not have the energy to respond to each post right now.

Doublebogie said...

Dam Leesa! I guess I'm glad you've never visited my site yet because there would be no way in hell I could duck under that radar.
My wife was raised and married a good catholic girl and still is. Unfortunately I'm not.
I write stories too, but just to fill that void.
Guess I still haven't gotten that out of MY system!
Hers left and mine grew.

The Seeker said...

SInce you have taken yourself off the market, how about a post on finding 'that kind of girl'. lol I'm half kidding, half serious. Would love to hear your perspective on that subject.

stretch td said...

I think there is a little slut in every good catholic girl. Sometimes women have to let the slut in them out. Maybe you will have the itch to let her out the next time I'm at the Ritz in Buckhead. ;)

Anonymous said...

is porn the only winner during credit crunch?


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