Monday, October 31, 2005

Halloween Costumes

Today is Halloween. No shocking news here. And I want to talk about costumes. Actually, I really don't but it is Halloween, and occasionally, I just write about "what I am supposed to." Hey, I grew up a good, Catholic girl. I do what I am supposed to do. Thinking to add "at times" under my breath.

Anyway, I normally have the lamest costumes. I have been a witch more times than I can remember. Whenever I don't have time or don't feel like thinking of something, I have the black dress [why do we all have like three black dresses? could it be their slimming properties?], the hat, the wig, the broom. When I don’t give a flip, I am a witch. And there are all sorts of witches – humerous, sexy, wicked. I play a bitchy witch well.

I have other costumes, but I would not wear them in public. French maid – why do men fantasize about a woman that can fulfill their desires and clean a room afterwards? Another random fact that proves this is a man's world.

The last few years, I have watched what others wear – and if I were ever the parent of a teenage girl, I would never let my children wear what I am seeing. When did dressing up like a whore qualify as something a 13-year-old should wear? There are girls on the street between 13 and 17, and I can guarantee that the older ones will all wear sexy costumes (they are going to parties afterwards), and even some of the younger ones are wearing sexy costumes.

And a costume that continues to amaze me is the "school girl" costume. Last year, one of the secretaries here wore a "Catholic school girl" to work. The cross around the neck, the "prayer beads" as she called them (Rosary beads, thank you very much), the ponytail, the short skirt, the knee high white socks. She was probably 25 years old, and she was trying to look 15. Guess I am a little sensitive because of my upbringing, but I swore my boss was looking lustily at her for a moment. It is like all guys want to mount a high-schooler. And Halloween gives us a chance to be someone we aren't for a day.

Two year's ago, a teenaged boy dressed up as a letch. That's what he called himself. He had on a Trench coat, dark glasses (I thought he was going to trip over something in the dark), and colored his cheeks to make it look like he has a scraggly beard. For a teenaged boy, I guess it was a perfect guise – heck, he could leer at the whore girls and be "in character."

Some people say that Halloween is the "Devil's night." I can't really see that. If you look at the history of the evening, it seems like it is rooted in the Church – taking a pagan holiday and turning it into a Christian holiday.

What will I be this year for Halloween? Still deciding between the witch and the French maid. I am sure hubbie wants me to be a French maid later in the evening. Or if he is the police officer, I am sure I will be the handcuffed suspect. Give me a break, I married the guy – the least I can get is a little bit of light bondage.

21 comments:

ProfessorGQ said...

I really feel what you're talking about. I don't really celebrate Halloween anymore because of the costumes. First, I would have to spend too much money on dressing up, and I'd be damned to repeat the same costume for any future Halloweens. Therefore, I give Halloween a big "bah humbug."

Grant said...

I've noticed a lot of churches impose a costume limit on their congregation - nothing that isn't Historical, Biblical, or Occupational. That would explain the underaged whores. They fit all three.

Thomas said...

I'm going as the big, strong man you meet at the bar who flirts with you the more your hubby gets blitzed and doesn't notice until you find yourself atop the backroom pool table on your right cheek and knees while the big man pulls your arms by the wrists towards him to impale you on his big, thick cock. ;)

Leesa said...

Not to sound irreverent, but Mary Magdalene, one of the biggest Saints in the Catholic Church, was a prostitute.

Mark said...

The last time I had a "costume" I cleaned the innards out of an old Mac plus computer, so it was just a shell, put silver mylar where the screen would have been, and put my head inside. Freaked kids out.
Leesa, you should go as a nun. That way, if someone asks if you are a nun, you can say, no, they ran out of penguin costmes, and this was all they had left.

It used to be a kids holiday until the damned industry took it over as a big deal, and now some adults think they have to compete for who has the most outlandish lawn display.

They little bastards are getting granola bars from me this year.

Yoga Korunta said...

Leesa, you'd be hot in anything! Here are a few ideas: a flour sack, construction mens' clothes, judicial robes, and duct tape!

Mark said...

Maybe Saran Wrap would be better...

Ddot the King said...

Hey c'mon guys! Leesa is happily married...and I am the only guy she cheats on her husband with!!...Ok so kill the saran wrap and flour sack talk!....So Leesa I picked up some saran wrap and I have a really good idea....:)

Storm said...

A little bit of bondage is good for the soul! LOL

Yoga Korunta said...

Mark, I meant clear duct tape. Neon pink and clear duct tape!

kathi said...

I'm going as a tired ass woman dressed in flannel who needs another hot toddy (tottie, oh hell...tea, crown, lemon and honey). If there's any bondage later, he better not wake me up.

Doublebogie said...

One of the best "couples" costumes I saw was,, the guy dressed in coveralls, workboots, a hardhat and a mason's trowel in his back pocket. The woman went as a brick.

I laughed all night, but now that I look back on that 20 years ago, I was probably doing shrooms that night.

Leesa said...

mark: the mac costume sounds dangerous.

yoga: was thinking about duct tape, but I was a bit worried about getting out of the costume as well.

ddot: thanks, sweets. Saran Wrap normally is involved with left-overs at my house. Hope you don't mind left-overs.

storm: I love it; we can co-author a book. Instead of "Chicken Soup for the Soul", it would be like "Nipple clips for the Soul"

kathi: You are always fun.

doublebogie: at least the woman did not go as a screw!

Doublebogie said...

He was a "brick layer"

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kathy said...

Halloween has been special for not only Usa but also for whole europe and australia