Friday, October 21, 2005

Rich Men

Words are important. I have written about this before when I discussed the P-word.

This is about another word. I have a co-worker named Richard. He goes by Dick. And for the life of me, I dance (pussy-foot) around his name. Because I just don't want to call him by Dick.

Now I don't know how the name Richard changed. I mean James to Jim (starts with the same letter), and William to Bill (sounds similar with the double-L). I get those. But Richard to Dick. How the heck does someone say, "the IC in my name is precious to me, I think I will keep it." Oh, crap, I forgot to use my MAN VOICE. Men don't use the word "precious". But you get the point. A little plug: I did write about a guy with computer name IC in a previous post. Maybe his real name is Richard.

The names just don't sound similar at all to me. Was there some well-hung stud named Richard a long time ago, and when the women would gossip about him, it went something like this.

Victoria: "I saw Richard again last night. He rode me like bronco. Goodness, I loved him mounting my arse."

Henrietta: "Richard. Not sure I know that stallion." (Leesa note: I know nothing about horses, and I hope stallion is a male horse.)

Victoria: "He lives in Windsor. He has some grey in his side burns."

Jillian: "I don't know him either."

Victoria: (blushing) "And he has the biggest dick."

Henrietta: "Oh, that's his name. We just call him dick."

Why can't I just call Richard something like Rich. That seems to be a nice name. And I like rich guys!


Grant said...

I'm not making this up. A friend of mine works with a woman with the married surname of Lover. Her husband's name is Richard, but he goes by Dick. Good icebreaker, but can you imagine attending public school with a name like that?

The same friend once called a maintenance man who answered the phone "This is Dick Hand." He swore it sounded like the guy said "This is Dick Head." Not much better, either way.

Leesa said...

grant: too funny. By the way, I answer to the name "dick lover"!

Ddot the King said...

Well what do you think the "D" in Ddot stands for?! :)

Samantha said...

Haha. Those are both REALLY funny...and awkward.

I never got why (for girl's) people use "Betsy" as a nickname for "Elisabeth" either. It only shares the "et" and then a "s" and a "b"...really weird.

ken said...

using both of your taboo words in the same blog.....more than once.....leesa is being corrupted by the blog monster....have another helping please!

Video X said...

hahaha! this is hilarious! i love your made up conversation. i dont like to call people dick either. i agree...why not rich?

Mark said...

I knew a guy in college -- his name was Harry Cox. But that name paled to a woman named Karn Klitgaard. A fiend of mine used to sign his name as Heywood Jablome as a prank.

kathi said...

I'm the exact same way!! This made me smile, thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.

Long Iron said...

I work with a guy named Richard, he jokingly says his "Porn" name is Dicky Hollywood. Maybe that is where Dick came from.

I like you too. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

The Seeker said...

Excellent analysis. I have always wondered about this, now I know... lol

Leesa said...

Okay, Mark, who is Heywood Jablome? I have no idea.

Mark said...

Leesa -- say it phonetically -- hey wouldja blow me?

Leesa said...

Mark, I am such an idiot. I also caught a spelling error. Yikes.

Ken: no taboo words in this blog. Just referred to one (the P-word), did not say/write it.