Monday, May 14, 2007

Phrases I Hate

There are certain words or phrases that really bug me.

"I wrote this to tell you I am alive."
When you start a letter or a blog and state that the reason is to tell you that you are alive, you are sort of stating the obvious. When I see a blog entry or letter from someone, I assume they are alive at the time of the letter. Makes sense?

Please, if you are dead and writing me, tell me that you are dead. That is so much more impressive. And it needs to be stated because it is generally assumed that one is alive when writing.

"Do you know how fast you were going?"
When a policeman says this, well, I learned from my defensive driving class, you don't say a think. The police officer wants you to admit to speeding. Me, before this class, thought it was some sort of contest.

Leesa: Sir, I was going 82.4 miles per hour. How close was I?

Wrong approach.

"I have nothing to say."
I have read many bloggers that blog about not being able to write. And I have done it as well. In fact, I am probably going to do it soon (hint). But you know, I think the reason people do it is that they feel compelled to write on some interval, and then they can't do it. I don't like the phrase, but I can understand the need for it. It is sort of like a long "hmmm" with many more words and punctuation.

"Did you watch _____ last night."
I don't hate this because I think television is evil. I like to be included in conversations, and when people are talking about television, unless they are talking "Wonder Years", "Happy Days" or "MASH", I am in over my head, completely left out because I don't watch television. I just feel inferior because I don't know who was kicked off American Idol last week, who is dancing with the stars, and who got laid or shot by one of the Desperate Housewives. And I don't like feeling inferior.

"Ooops. The condom broke."
Just joking. Never happened to me, but that would really suck.


patti_cake said...

Girl you need to watch Desperate Housewives & American Idol *wink*

kathi said...

I'm guilty of the t.v. comment. But, if it wasn't for my dvr, I'd not know anything about t.v. programs either. I watch the last 1/2 hour to an hour before I fall asleep in bed, and that's about it.

Ian Lidster said...

Everything you need to know about any TV program is handily covered by The Simpsons, and with much more wit and wisdom than all the rest of TV combined.

RWA said...

I am out of the loop on most TV discussions as well, but I can live with that.

That last one is hilarious - unless you're involved in it personally.

Pittchick said...

I don't know who got kicked off American Idol either.
I do have a guilty pleasure in "America's next top model" however, so I do know who got kicked off that show.

Anonymous Boxer said...

My least favorite is,

"Can I be honest with you?"

What? They weren't being honest before?

Leesa said...

patti: I found out how to watch D. Housewives recently. Have not done so.

kathi: I do not own a DVR. That would be a useful tool, but I don't have cable either. I did not know DVRs worked on regular TV.

ian: I did not know the Simpsons still were on. I loved that show.

rwa: yeah, I feel for you.

boxer: I did a blog once where I said the same thing about "to tell you the truth."

Bruce said...

On the "I'm still alive" posts, I can see where they're coming from. A lot of bloggers consider their circle of blogger buddies as almost a family. If a blogger hasn't been around for a while, his/her readers begin to wonder, especially if there's been no other kind of contact. And occasionally, a blogger does die; there was one just a few months ago. No one had heard from her in days, and the news finally surfaced that she'd died unexpectedly.

Video X said...

I agree, TV is evil. I don't watch it.

Honestly, I wonder more and more why people waste words on TV shows.

I think it can be a good way to chill out, relax, etc...but I just don't care to talk about it.

GW Mush said...

The phrase i hate most is

' I wouldnt have sex with you if you were the last man on earth' :)

Leesa said...

bruce: my point is to simply post. If someone posts, they are most likely alive (or a character on Ghost Whisperer).

VX: I just don't have time for TV in my life. I do like movies, but I want them in my DVD player. That would be my chill-out time.

gw mush: to the phrase, "I wouldnt have sex with you if you were the last man on earth", could you not reply:

"Luckily, I am not the last man on Earth. So would you like to have sex?"

Edie said...

I hate, 'its not my fault'! My kids were NOT permitted to say this as it was not asked or implied... I get it from adults like they are guilty or something... GRRRRRRR

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