Friday, May 11, 2007

Underappreciated Mothers

Yesterday, I posted about hating Mother's Day. Well, I really don't hate everything to do with Mother's Day. I think that mothers have a difficult job, so I wanted to give you a different post on the "work eve" of Mother's Day.

It seems to me that mother's don't really get a fair shake.

Think about this "ledger sheet" that might reflect some year of mine in the mid-80s:

Mom stayed up with me much of the night because I was really sick with some virus. I remember her wiping my brow with a damp washcloth. She changed the channels on the television for me. For those of you who don't remember, there was a time when all televisions did not have remote controls. I felt so sick, so weak, so pitiful.

My Mom comforted me, and for Mother's Day, I made her a clay ash tray.

As a high schooler, I was learning about love. Not the love of middle school where you kiss a boy, get a carnation on Valentine's Day and write his name in your spiral notebook. Not that those were not good times, but when you go further, when you talk about futures, about your pasts, about what you like. In short, it is when you start to focus beyond yourself, to another person. The puppy love is mostly about you. Adolescent love is about you, but it is also about the other person. Mom listened to me as I figured this out.

My Mom listened to me, and for Mother's Day, I made her a clay ash tray.

Since my mother spooned strained peas into my mouth, my Mom made me almost every breakfast and dinner until I was out of high school. Nearly every meal on the weekends. That is about 13,000 meals. She made them with love and without complaining. And, you know, after being married and making meals for longer than I want to admit, I cannot believe that she did not ever feel like complaining. And in this year, she was teaching me to cook as well as further cementing our mother-daughter relationship. It is so much easier to talk about boys when you are cooking a meal.

My Mom cooked for me and taught me how to cook, and for Mother's Day, I made her a clay ash tray.

She did so much for me, and for Mother's Day, she got a clay ash tray. Actually, I gave her a clay ash tray years before, and she loved it. No, she did not smoke, but she loved the ash tray. That's what a mother is all about. She does not keep track on a ledger sheet, she just mothers. Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there!


Dr. Deb said...

That was a lovely post, Leesa.

LarryLilly said...

In 1914 President Woodrow Wilson declared that Mother’s Day should be celebrated as a national holiday on the second Sunday in May.

Its easy to say happy mothers day on the second sunday in May, but its more important to understand what Leesa said, that every day should be happy mothers day.

However in some households, SWMBO (she who must be obeyed) run a very tight ship, and you BETTER tell her she is a good mother every day, or else you will wish you were never born LOL

To all the women out there, Happy mothers day, happy womans day, happy sunday.

Go out and get yours

(yours is up to you) LOL

T said...

Very nice post Leesa. Reading it let me take a few moments to reflect on the positive impact my mother had... and continues to have on her 50 year old son.
Thank you....

GW Mush said...


I only wish I could eat some of your cooking, whats for dinner tonite?

Leesa said...

dr. ~deb: thanks. Just glad you did not analyze the previous post.

larry: SWMBO does not have to be a mother. It could be a PMS-ing 30-something non-mother.

t: I am pleased that I inspired you to reflect.

gw: I guess it is true about men's tummies.

RWA said...

Well said. I would imagine many people can relate to that.

Prata said...

Personally, I am of the opinion that Mother's Day is a load of crap. It really is, it furthers the idea that you should be especially thankful to someone doing what they are _supposed to be doing_ anyway. I can hear the gasps, let me follow up with this particular statement so you know I'm speaking from experience.

The same is true of Father's Day. I'm a father, I do what I'm supposed to do with my kid because he's my kid. I love him, I didn't plan on him and I certainly wasn't of the mind set that his mother and I should have him. Alas, we did and that isn't his fault. I know plenty of parents that abuse and neglect their children because they are angry with what happened; however, that's not your kid's fault. It's your fault..learn to deal with it. Besides, thanking the parent that is doing what they are supposed to do vs. thanking the one that doesn't makes absolutely no difference. Both are going to continue doing what they are doing regardless of what you do.

The moral of this comment? Treat your parents like you should be treating every other human being in the world and you'll find that's really thanks enough. That's really all parents want from you anyway. I mean, speaking as a parent.

kathi said...

Thank you Leesa. Big hug, sweetie.

X. Dell said...

I take it you're not a mother yourself.

I can see where any kind of "Hallmark" holiday would be irksome, while at the same time there is something special about remember someone so important to all of us. Perhaps the tension between these two extremes influences are feelings about Mother's Day.

Whether you are one or not, I wish you a Happy Mother's Day. After all, you will give birth to something...even if that something is an idea.

Leesa said...

prata: the woman's actions that started Mother's Day (she passed out flowers in her church to honor her mother) fought to cease making Mother's Day a Federal holiday. She thought it was too commercial.

kathi: big hug back!

x dell: not a mother. Thanks for the comments.

patti_cake said...

Leesa i'm sure that clay ashtray was gold to her.
I personally can't wait until my little girl starts making things in school. She'll probably buy Daddy something for Mothers Day, she's such a Daddy's Girl!

Leesa said...

patti: Nothing wrong with a Daddy's Girl!