Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Resolutions

Okay. First post of the year. And I was thinking of just saying, "I don't want to make a New Year's Resolution; I am pretty damn perfect already." But that is just not how I am. There is a t-shirt I have seen that said, "Change is good. You go first." And that's how we mostly see things. Most of us don't want to change. That's why New Years Resolutions are a bitch.

So here are my New Years Resolutions, and the reasoning for each:

1. Don't fuck strangers in club lavatories. Okay, there are two reasons for this New Year's Resolution; it is not a good idea to do this, and it is sort of an easy resolution to have come true.

2. Don't get pregnant. Okay, this is a tricky New Year's Resolution. If you have read some of my older blog entries, you know that hubbie and I are an "infertile couple." And since I rarely keep resolutions, I thought I would make this one and hopefully not keep it. Sort of tricking the resolutions gods, so to speak. It probably won't work, but what the heck. What do I have to loose with this resolution.

3. Write a book. I have had this resolution for the last few years. And I have not really done anything about it. Part of me thinks this blog is sort of keeping me from writing a book, actually. I get my "creative fix" or "lack-of-creativity fix" form this blog, and so I don't write other things. Plus I use energy on this blog that I could use on other things. But every time I think of not blogging, I wonder if the result would be to write something that is less than what I want it to be. You see, I use this blog to polish my writing, and so I should be able to get the results of that and write something important. Can you imagine writing a book that people will be placing on EBay 20 years from now? First edition of Leesa's book – rare (son-of-a-bitch, small press run), in good condition (son-of-a-bitch, they never read the damn book). But people are bidding on the book because they want it, they want to leaf through the pages, they want to experience the words while nestled in their beds, letting the stress of the day subside. Okay, another resolution that probably won't happen. But maybe.

4. Loose weight. This is a resolution I have started before the New Year, but you know, I have lost a little weight already. Half-way there, so I am actually sort of confident that I may be able to nail this resolution. How about reaching my ideal weight before bikini season this year? Not things of Nobel Prize stature, but what the heck, I don't want to accept the award in Sweden anyway. I can't talk that funny. Think of Kermit's Swedish Chef.

5. Promote world peace. This is one of those Miss America ideas, but you know, as long as I do this quietly, I won't be a finalist for the Nobel Prize (again, I don't want to go to Sweden). Not going to Sweden is really motivational for me. Anyway, instead of holding Middle East talks, or baking cookies for President Bush's cabinet, I think I will promote world peace in more quiet and subtle ways. I will not honk my horn at idiot drivers. I will not say "Thank you" for presents that I don't want or like. I will smile more often. Hopefully these little things will promote world peace. I figure if a butterfly's wing beating can cause a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico, then smiling can inspire world peace.

Happy New Year!

15 comments:

Pyth0s said...

Happy New Year Leesa!

I don't believe in resolutions as they are mostly just a hoax. If you must wait till the beginning of a new year to set a goal for yourself, it usually means that the will power is lacking and you are just using New Years as a personal kick in the ass which rarely ever happens.

But hey, if it actually helps you start and STICK with a plan, good for you, but that usually means you should have started that resolution way beforehand.

My New Years resolution is the same as each year. Be kind to people, love my family and work my arse off to make sure I properly provide for them. But once again, this is a daily resolution for me anyhow.

Cheers!

Pyth0s

MOAB said...

Hmmm...I friend who set a weight loss goal asked me yesterday what my resoulution was...and I had to stop short...I hadn't even thought about it. I guess the same things as last week....quit emptying my kitchen into my mouth because I'm bored, be a better mom, keep up with the housework...Maybe I really should try to come up with something. I pledged to help him instead....which means that whenever I see him eat a cookie, I get to take it away. Yay! More cookies for me!!

Tony said...

In looking back over the past year at my accomplishments I've found that I didn't attain my previous goal of having as much of the yardwork done as I had anticipated. I kept putting it aside for other items.

This year I resolve to accomplish all the goals I set for getting my yard in shape.

It may sound silly but in March of last year I moved into a house that had/has an outstanding landscape. The previous owners had let it go. When I moved in I planned on getting it back up above par. (a five year plan was needed.) So, this year I'll kick myself in the ass and put the wife and kids on hold while I attain the goal I set.

Happy New Year, Leesa.
Missed you while you were gone.

Unknown said...

lol, great list. very funny the way you write. love your sense of humor and writing style. happy new year, i've missed your blog.

Prata said...

Question question! Don't you mean, "lose"? Just curious.

Also, what you can do to help with your book writing, which is what I've done for my manga and just writing in general; although, I'm lazy and haven't done dick with it until just very very recently is to create a secondary blog that you link too. Pick days you will post something to that and then do it. But you may feel that is overwhelming. Some people are that way...I suppose.

I don't make New Year resolutions, I don't need a time frame to make promises. The fact I said it is promise enough.

Leesa said...

zack: "An inconvenient truth" seems to twist the truth. Global warming does exist, but unfortunately quoting bad science because it makes a point was part of that type of movie (from what I have heard).

pyth0s: I love breaking resolutions!

monica: I think you should blog more so that I can read about you!

tony: good luck with the yardwork.

jd: thanks, sweetie.

prata: I just write this stuff. I don't read it. Yeah, this loose lady does not know loose from lose. Not really loose, but damn, I missed that word up.

Ian Lidster said...

I'll buy your book if you buy mine, OK? Seriously though, I would buy your book and think I would find in intriguing at all sorts of levels. As for procrastinating about writing and getting bogged down in a blog, instead (blogged down?) I know the temptation. But, as a friend once said to me: "Procrastination is like masturbation; in both cases you only fuck yourself."
Have a wonderful 2007, dear friend.

Ian

Leesa said...

Happy New Year, Leesa :)

Joe said...

Why couldn't I have met you - or been a stranger to you - in a club before you made that first resolution?

Life is so unfair sometimes...

Happy New Year, Leesa

MOAB said...

yes 'm
Blogging done. :)

JOSHUA S BLACK said...

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Repent of your sins today, that God may grant you everlasting life through Jesus Christ His Son. Then read your Bible daily and obey what you read. God never fails to keep His promises.

http://needgod.com

Anonymous said...

Nothing like a little chaos theory to start off the New Year...

Leesa said...

ian: interesting saying! I'd buy your book, too.

leesa: happy New Year, dear friend.

joe: yeah, the club sex is actually pretty bad.

monica: oh, could I be your mistress. I like this "yes ma'am" stuff.

josh: thanks for trying to save my soul, but I think that's God's (and my) job.

bruce: personally, I like string theory.

nosthegametoo said...

Seems like you've made some reasonable New Year's resolutions.

And good luck on that World Peace thing.

Peace and Love.

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