Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Employment Opportunity

I found the following in my email yesterday:


We hire all over the USA except Alaska and Hawaii.

We are looking for honest and bright people for this position.

Requirements:
  • Resident of United States or UK, Canada, France, Italy, Germany
  • Fluent English (for applicants from all countries);
  • Basic knowledge of Microsoft Word and Microsoft Excel;
  • Home Computer with e-mail account and ability to check your e-mail box at least twice a day;
  • Adults only accepted (we cannot hire underage people);
  • 1-3 hours free during the week (mainly in the evening / non-business hours) for communication and 2-3 hours a week more for package processing;
  • Bank or Paypal (www.paypal.com) account (if possible) to receive funds from our company for the activity;

If you are interested please apply (and it gives a URL, which I have deleted).



Okay, I am currently employed. But let's look at this employment opportunity more closely. They want a current resident of the US, Canada, France, Italy or Germany. I am a current resident of the US. They are looking for someone who is fluent in English. Golly, gee, I know English. They are looking for someone with a basic understanding of MS Excel and MS Word. Me, I know those two programs as well. I have a home computer and can check my email at least twice per day, and I have a bank account.

This seems easier to qualify for than the trusted person to help the guy from Nigeria. Remember in the Bible where someone was looking for an honest person in the city with the lamp? Okay, so it was the Greek philosopher Diogenes, but wouldn't it make a great parable in the Bible? If I get all Joseph Smith and all and write my own Bible, I am going to put Diogenes in my version.

Going back to the job opportunity – I wonder why they sent this to me. I mean, I am sure many others have similar gifts, but of all the people in the world, they sent this amazing offer to me.

You know, getting paid by paypal may have its advantages. I mean, I wonder if I have to fill out an I-9, showing that I am a citizen of the US. Do they take out taxes, and well, should I send my SSN? Will they care that my Social Security Number is 555-55-5555. I promise it is real. I really like this job. I mean, it doesn't sound like there is anything wrong with the offer. Not that they used my name in the email. Or that they sent it to an user account where I get a few emails from my blogging buddies and that's all. I can't even get spam porn. None at all.

So if I write less over the next few days, I may be working on a new job. Yeah, a new job where I am an expert on MS Word and/or MS Excel. An expert with, what did they want, "a basic knowledge of Microsoft Word and Microsoft Excel." Doesn't sound fishy at all.

4 comments:

Shadowdog said...

If I get all Joseph Smith and all and write my own Bible, I am going to put Diogenes in my version.

LMAO!! Genius. By the way, comedian Tim Wilson called that version of the bible "Jesus: The Western" ;-P

Hmmmm. I don't know who I trust less. You with your ennead of 5s or this sketchy job offering. I think I trust the job offering less because they didn't mention lunch. I will walk the (bleep) up off a job if they don't allow at least three hours for lunch!

~Deb said...

Did you hear? I won the British lottery! I can claim my prize if I give them my name, address, date of birth and social security number...(so they know it's really me....) And claim my prize!!!! I can't wait.

Hmm.

Bruce said...

The sad thing is is that there are people out there who actually fall for this stuff.

Leesa said...

shadowdog: thanks, sweetie.

~deb: wow; I want to be your friend.

bruce: I know! sad, to be sure.