Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Randomness Second Post

Okay, I am completely frazzled. I don't know what frazzled really means, but I think I am there today.

You know I have a problem with routine. Part of my routine is posting once every work day. Well, I like doing that, and if I write more, then I just save the post for tomorrow. With the extra 15-minutes, I can either drink a latte or have sex twice. Just kidding about the latte – I don't like the stuff. Oh, I meant to say, just kidding about the sex thing – because that would not include clean-up.

Well, yesterday, I tried unsuccessfully pimping my nomination for the Really Freakin' Stupid Awards. I wrote a funny piece about it, and because I really wanted someone to read the following post, I think the pimping post got buried.

So here I am for the second day posting twice. And I feel frazzled. Or is that fraggled.

Another problem was that I spit in the eyes of the HTML gods. Yeah, I know, worship no idols before me and all, but because of my amateurish HTML, I completely hosed my site if you were using any decent browser (e.g., anything other than IE). I don't want to go into any technical details about how I got the site fixed, but it did not involve giving a blowjob to my local IT support.

I have been thinking a lot about my Muse lately. Can't help it, because I see a lot of her in me or a lot of me in her. Some of what I see is probably reflective - because she sort of look like me (not physically but overall), I project my situation on your life. So I could be so "off the mark" in this case. So those psychology majors can just chill out.

I did want to say publicly that Muse is very brave. I would have never have done what Musey is doing - I would have been too scared of the results. I am so Catholic in my beliefs; I believe in saving marriages for most reasons, but even the Catholic Church says there is no marriage without what they call "mutual support." But I would have been too scared to have walked out, be it temporary or the beginning of the end.

Being roomies with a hubbie is so freakin' horrible - fucking horrible (yeah, I dropped the F-bomb). It is so horrible for any woman to experience. When that happens, there is no mutual support.

I want so much for Musey to feel contentment every night her head hits the pillow (even though she has those killer legs, bitch that she is). I am not all into this "be happy" crap. I want her to feel fulfilled. To me, being happy is like having good sex. It is great for the moment, but the feeling goes away. Feeling fulfilled is like making love, when you can be carried back to the experience days later, thinking of the experience. It stays with you.

Me and sex. Crap. It all gets around to a little tickle and a change of the sheets.

I am so frazzled today. Sorry for the second post, but I did want to pimp my Really Freakin' Stupid Awards. Tomorrow I will think of something light. Promise. This is post 250, too. Not fanfare, just pimping and explaining myself. Frazzled.

15 comments:

Muse said...

Careful with that Muse being on your mind, she may drive you a bit crazy.. really, its been known to happen. ;-)

Our lives are similiar Babe, for sure. Only, I think since we come from such a different spiritual place, our paths have taken different routes.

Id have liked to have been able to stick it through and fuck I tried, but, he didnt want to listen and without that it wont work.

Pray for me k? Cause I need em.

Tony said...

I think the correct term is frazzled. When you "frag" someone you take them out, eleminate them; so I would think that being fragged would not be good (unless you were hit with an F-bomb in which case I think more people should be fragged).

Give your local IT support my condolences.

There is strength in numbers. Involving yourself in Muse is beneficial to the both of you. My heart goes out to you two.

You need to stop this "second post" thing. I'm becoming very unproductive at work. JK

Leesa said...

heather: hubbie and I are no longer just roomies - have been though.

halo: my thoughts and prayers are with you.

tony: I could not remember what ~deb said at her site. She and Mike use the word a lot.

Prata said...

Oh you know..the object of my affection was saying somethin' (not quite similar..but related in a way) about being in a house with someone that is just....nvm I'm going to e-mail you this as it's easier to explain and not put situations out there.

Look for an e-mail at some point today.

MOAB said...

ooooooo---does Madelene know you got fraggled?
(wow...feelin the geek now....)
Monica

Leigh said...

Thanks Leesa for this post. I am too, in the middle of a life bump. Being Chatholic myself this has added to the stress and guilt of the mess I have gotten myself into.

Pat said...

I think one of the saddest things is for a married couple to turn into 'just roommates.' For us to be happy there needs to be much more but she seems okay with it. I don't get it.

Dizzie said...

Leesa, I'm compeltely with you. I'm so lacking in structure when it comes to posting on my blog, it's scary. Working, I get the opportunity to say something clever and fun every day, but boy, do I suffer from bloggers-block! I don't think I've managed to squeeze out anything remotely interesting for the past two weeks (not to say it has stopped me from blogging).

Here's hoping it will pass...

Oh, and on the Pippi-thing... yeah, I kinda read them in Swedish, and in Polish too, but I don't remember her polish name... sorry for being such a show-off! ;D

LeperColony said...

Leesa, when I said "women are harsh", that's what I meant. Your cold assesment of your co-workers relative physical merits and flaws was a good example of the kind of detached, judgmental behavior I summarized as "harsh".

Now, at this point I want to declare that in this women are no worse than men, and indeed being merely people *as men are), they are no different. However, society tells us different things about the proper way to behave.

Women are often forced into a more subdued role, sometimes quite blatantly but sometimes in more discreet manners. For instance, women are generally considered more polite than men, or more forgiving. This may or may not be true, but the belief persists and so then does the pressure to conform to it.

Because so many of our encounters in the "real world" are weighed down with this kind of baggage, it's easy to forget that people are people and the critical gaze (upon oneself as well as others) is common to everyone.

Leesa said...

prata: thanks for the long letter. Still mulling this one over.

monica: perhaps I don't know what fraggled is.

leigh: religion is suppose to ease the pain, not add to the burden.

killdare: here is hoping you never "get it."

heart: I hope I don't write like I have writer's block. Oh, my, I must really be off my game.

leper: I was putting down on my blog what I was thinking, not what I was saying. I don't see how wanting her freckles characterizes me as harsh. Interesting perspective. I have good and bad features myself, and I did not view her features in a more flattering or critical light than I would subject my own features.

Dizzie said...

Didn't mean you're writing like you're suffering from blockage - meant I do...! :)

MZPEACH said...

lol

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