Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Light Sandwich Fare

Tired Leesa
Okay, Leesa is completely spent. I feel like I walked to work on my hands. I have been thinking way too much lately, and I am wondering if it is because (1) I have a smallish noggin and brain and my brain is being overtaxed, (2) I have limited my chocolate intake because of bikini season, or (3) I have not heard President Bush speak this week. Whatever the case, I am going to limit my intellectual pursuits for a while.

Today we are going to talk about color-coordinated hair clips. Yeah, right. Much more likely to talk about nipple clips around here, but then again, here I go pandering to those people using Google to search for online porn. Pick me, pick me! Drive up my traffic.

One last, half-of-a-thought. Muse placed the picture of a bee stinging someone with the blog entry title, "It'll only stings for a second." I couldn't help but remember something I learned in school. The picture reminded me of it because it was so clear. When the bee stings, her guts come out with the stinger. Imagine if those who hurt us would feel that bad – like the bee, they would only sting to protect something more valuable than their own lives. We would certainly be living in a much kinder world if this were the case. Either that, or we would all be extinct because we are a bunch of bitches and bastards. Interesting thought, though.

On to the useful part of the pose. See, I try to be useful, not just on areas of marriage but in common sense things. So this post is more about how to get free gas. No, not really. Siphoning gas can really do damage on your lungs.

The real post starts here.

I think I have the best "ordering strategy" for Subway Sandwich Shoppes. Okay, I am not sure if that is the real name for the place – but Subway sounds like I am going from Union Station to Silver Spring.

Anyway, on to the ordering.

The way Subway is set up, you have to order fast, and the person putting together the sandwich has to likewise assemble the masterpiece just as quickly. But the sandwich engineer also, I am guessing here, needs to limit the stuff that goes on the sandwiches.

So I order my bread, meat and cheese first. I sort of smile to see if I get an extra piece of cheese. It has worked once so far, but I still do my smile thing. Just-in-case.

Then it goes to the next sandwich engineer. This is the part that pays off – because you normally don't get any extra meat or cheese unless you are doing the manager – and she has bad breath. So when they ask for the veggies that go on the sandwich, I don't say, "I want everything but onions" which is what I want. I say, "Lettuce and Spinach." They add a little bit more lettuce and spinach than they normally would have since they think that's all I want. And when the last spinach leaf hits the sandwich, I come back with a "green and banana peppers." I continue to use this tactic until my sandwich is swimming in veggies. That is my aim. I mean, the bread is just so-so, and the meat is almost tasteless (actually a benefit), but the veggies are usually so freakin' fresh.

Then comes the dressings – and I only like a dab of whatever. I know that some just smear the dressings on, so I warn them by saying, "I just want a dash of …" and then I pick out the most appropriate dressing type for the sandwich that was constructed solely for moi.

I used to have a Subway right down the street from where I worked. It was on Drayton, a really bad place to be around when it gets dark. People would come in with their food stamps and get sandwiches, drinks and cookies. Personally, I skip the drink if I can find something nearby.

And I never actually eat my sandwich at Subway. I prefer to take it to a nearby square and eat it in the cool spring air. In the middle of summer, only if the humidity is in the double digits (joke). Some of these big old oak trees even make the summer bearable.

McDonalds French fries
One last tip on French fries at McDonalds. Well, besides for the fact that they harden instantly in your arteries, if you like hot French fries – as for fries without salt. They always put salt on them after they take them out of the vat of fat, so they have to give you fresh fries.

Wow, aren't you glad I got through this without mentioning a six inch whatever? Unpredictable, that's what I like. To be unpredictable.


~Deb said...

A big six inch hero. Mmmm. Did I just say that?

First---the bee thing---I am totally afraid of bee stings. They're like suicide bombers. Think about it. They kill themselves, to sting you! (Or kill you--if you're allergic.) Oh and by the way, that picture was sick!

Subway? All bread, no meat. Hate it.

McDonald's? No. Not for my fat bum! Believe me, not only will the salt blow me up like a big fat tick, the fat content is sure enough to get me more junk in my trunk.

Prata said...

Love McDonald's fries. They are the only fries I eat, should I choose to eat somethin' american. Go figure.

My electricity is out at home. We had this horrid storm, so e-mails will probably bounce. Just resend. Also, I can't check my account as the server is in my living room and there's no bleedin' electricity.

I was stung by a bee once, that was the oddest experience ever. I smacked it on accident while I was playin' tag. The bee obviously took offense to this and hovered right in front of my face for a second before dropping onto my arm and nailin' me. I watched it start to fly off and twist its little body around. Left behind part of its innards and the poison sac they carry. It pumped poison into my arm for like 3 seconds before I knocked the thing off. That really _really_ hurt.

Shannon said...

I know McDonald's fries are so horrible for you but god do they taste so good! (I am cutting back) =)

As for the bee sting, I never knew their guts come out too.. I knew they died after they stung you, but wow...that's what they get!! =P And I agree if that happened to us, we would be ALOT more careful with one another.

Leesa said...

~deb: bees don't bother me. It is wasps that scare me.

prata: I did send you a message earlier. And I could not visit your blog today. Who knew the electricity was out at your house.

shannon: I am cutting back as well on the fries!

Tony said...

"Okay, Leesa is completely spent." What a deceptive way to start a blog. I like image, though not the way you've come to this state.

Color-coordinated hair clips are nice....but I tend to shy away from them.

Yellow jackets or hornets give me more greif than the others. Anything that flies and stings and builds it's nest in the ground so you can run it over with the lawnmower is definately off my Christmas list.

I like a good sub as long as I can warm it up and smash the bread down a little. I hate cold sandwiches with bread that's hard to chew.

Happy Moon Day

Prata said...

Just as a side note about my poor power predicament lol. My city actually made news! lol

mal said...

tomatoes, onion, cucumbers, vinegar and oregano on my subway and life is GOOD *G*

color coordinated hair clips? mmmmmmm, mine are all brown or black, if I wear them at all. One advantage of a bob

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Way to keep us on our toes, Leesa...:)

You still want to know what color my nipple rings are?

Oh and I want extra pickles on mine! My sub...not my nipples...;)

Grant said...

Poor ~deb and her OCD.

Any suggestions on how to get Japanese waitresses to linger long enough to ask their names?

Leesa said...

tony: really spent. Really tired.

prata: 500K without power. Wow.

mal: yeah, most of mine are brown or black as well, but I have been wearing a lot of colors recently.

stacey: did I ask that? really? I don't remember. Must have been a subconscious thing I did when typing. At least I have power.

grant: I agree with you about ~deb. My OCD is not as bad as hers, at least not with looking at the bee picture. Of course, I did not tell her that some bees have mites.

Pittchick said...

Subway gave me food poisoning once and I've never been back. I do love McDonald's fries, but I only have them once in a great while. Fast food isn't really for me.

JD said...

brilliant. :) too funny too. i never thought about the successive ordering ploy before to get more stuff on my sandwich. i shall have to try the "Leesa Strategy". :)

~Deb said...

Okay Leesa, but I will have you know that your very own pillow is LOADED with mites. LOADED! And I'm not even talking about the pillow cases.

Take that! (heehee) It's true!

Sleep well hon! ;)

~Deb said...

Oh...and Grant, if you looked beyond nationalities and bounded toes, I think you'll come to realize that Italian waitresses are just as hot! ;)

JD said...

agree with Deb on the Italian thing. ;)

and i want to know what color Stacy's nipple rings are too. :)

~ Amanda X&O said...

My subway sandwich is always the same, and always delicious. Their veggies really are the freshest.

runningonempty said...

Honored that, that picture inspired you.


Heart Of Darkness said...

I love the idea of people being like bees - whenever they hurt us, they have to pay themselves... it's rather poetic justice, I think. Or, maybe I've just been hurt, and want someone else to suffer! :)

United We Lay said...

The caffine in chocolate and coffee is clinically proven to increase brain function - I think it's a blood flow to the brain type thing, but I'm not sure. eat the chocolate. Forget the bikini.

Leesa said...

dna: you should not order food poisioning at Subway. I should have mentioned that. Oh, dna, you are a scientist. I thought bacteria or whatever gives one food poisioning.

jd: thanks.

~deb: I would say you have lots of time on your hands!

amanda: love the veggies at Subway; don't mind them skimping on meat either.

running: thanks, sweetie!

heart: I just want to deter hurting, not injure more people.

united: I nearly wrote about chocolate today. But I forgot what I was going to say about it.

United We Lay said...

I am aHUGE chocoholic. It's been extremely strong with the pregnancy. My husband still won't go out whenever I ask him to get Ice Cream. The man has no mercy:-)

The Seeker said...

Wendy's combats the french fry thing by not salting their fries. Highly annoying. Especially when they forget the little salt packets so I can do the evil deed myself.

Georgiapeach said...

I hope that you have gotten some rest. You are too funny Leesa. I love your

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