Thursday, July 27, 2006

Falling and He Men

Notice Me
The other day I was at the mall. You know, I rail against malls, but I find myself more and more spending time in malls, just looking at people and eating in the food courts. I just enjoy the experience.

Well, here I was, watching people walk by. It was such a nice experience – lost in watching other people, and all of a sudden, a little boy, probably four or five years old, falls down hard. He initially is shocked, then looks for his mother, a few steps in front of him. About three seconds afterwards, the mother turns around, and as she is turning around, the child starts crying loudly. Delayed reaction – if no one could see his pain, he would not have cried.

He was a cutie, too. His mother cradled him, told him that everything was going to be alright. And she was present during his "pain."

And I think about bloggers, and I sometimes wonder if we are just five-year-olds in adult bodies, writing and wanting others to feel our pain, notice our trials. Just a thought.

He Man or She Man
My husband has been watching musicals lately, and it sort of feels weird. I almost accused him of being gay the other day. It would have been in jest, but it would have really damaged his ego. I am glad I kept my mouth shut.

I keep telling girlfriends I enjoy how sensitive my man is, but I only want him to be "so" sensitive. Take musicals. I mean, I don't want my man to be that interested in musicals. Sure, he might want to see Hair because of the nudity, but some musicals are just not manly. Even though I love Chorus Line, even the "Tits and Ass" number can't save it for the real man. Oklahoma. P-lease. I love these musicals, but having my hubbie love them is different. Yeah, paint me intolerant, but it is mildly disturbing.

No, I don't want hubbie's knuckles dragging on the ground when he walks, but I want him to be a real man. The kind of guy who every once in a while just bangs me because he is horny. Most of the time, I like the tenderness, but I want the passion, the animal "bend over and take this" that he sometimes provides.

I like that he eats twice as much meat as me. That he will eat a salad, but only as a side dish to a meal that needs a steak knife. I like that he goes to church with me, that he opens the door for me after all of these years. But I also enjoy that once in our pew, he is as often liable to dose off during a long Mass. He is my man, and I like his manly habits.

About a year ago, my Dad was being sort of an ass, and my hubbie put him in his place. I could not say anything at the time, but I was so in love with him, wanted him so badly at that moment, just because he was being my man. A strong man who was voicing his opinion loudly and surely.

And I like that he doesn't care if I ask him to buy feminine pads. Because he is a man and does not care what others think. Sure, when we were younger, his friends would consider this being whipped. I never really understood that – if you are p-whipped, I would guess you are getting some. For young men, I am not sure they have much more on their minds.


SuperMom said...

good, i get to be first. thanks for noticing and telling the value of a man. this is something that our culture doesn't really celebrate anymore. kudos to you for speaking the truth, again. i wouldn't really worry about the musical thing, he is just fighting off some excess estrogen in his blood. real men don't give a damn about what other men think. its not practical, and gets in the road of having a good time.

.............hubby of supermom

United We Lay said...

Of course we want others to notice our pain. It means we are not alone, that we have support and help, especially if we really need it. It also gives us the satisfaction of knowing that we are not the only ones who have ever been in pain or who will ever be in pain.

My husband is a musician. He also does ALL of the cooking - he went to culinary school, decorates the house, picks out and arranges the furniture, and watches choice musicals - he LOVES Jesus Christ Superstar even though we don't believe in god, and we went to see The Lion King and Rent this year. I think our society places way too much significance on gender roles and what is expected of men and women.

Tony said...

I think it's a combination of both int he blogging world. There's those that want others to notice our pain, as United said, there's comfort in knowing others have experienced what we're experiencing. At the same time, I think we also are sitting in the food court watching the people.

From a man's perspective. I try to balance it all out. I love music but don't care to watch musicals. I don't hum show tunes or carry a man-purse. I think it's important to be knowledged in the arts as it helps to understand so much more of the human condition. I also feel it's important for men not to lose their masculinity. We're men, damn it. We do man things. If we didn't we'd be women.

Shannon said...

I think we write these little blog journals for self release and for other's to feel for our joys and sorrows, it's an emotional outlet.

P.S. I people watch at the mall too..people are awesome to observe lol

Leigh said...

Leesa I think you have the best of both worlds. A well rounded man. I loved your view on bloggers. I feel that many days I am no more then a small child needing to be picked up hugged and told that everything is going to be okay.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

This is like the fifth time I have tried to comment. What the hell is up with Blogger???

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Anyway, that post was VERY well put, Leesa...especially the "Most of the time, I like the tenderness, but I want the passion, the animal "bend over and take this" that he sometimes provides"

Absolutely! ;)

Advizor said...

Leesa hit a real nerve with me this morning which is one of my main reasons for reading her blog first every day. My response got longer and longer and then I decided that it would be rude to take up so much space in just the comments section. But here are the first couple of paragraphs...

Leesa is asking for a balance of two personalities that most men can never live up to. Most women (OK - my wife) have so many unexpressed expectations that walking through the front door after work is like playing the lottery. Does she want me to listen, or give an answer? Does she want logic or emotion, strength or tenderness, discipline or playfulness (with our kids, you pervs... )?

I never know, NEVER KNOW, what she wants. I come into a home where she runs the house 12 hours a day while I'm at work, but that sense of control is never shared or relinquished. She sets down the rules on feeding the kids, bedtime schedules, how the dishes are done, and how the beds are made. She has a rule for everything, and then has the gall to complain that I don't act like a man and lead the house. Lead? I'm barely allowed to follow.

And as for sex, forget about "bend over and take this." If the planets aren't aligned just so, and "the Apprentice" is a rerun, and the dishes are done, and she's checked her e-mail, and if the phone doesn't ring, and her list is checked off, and if she's not "too tired" and if I haven't tripped on some emotional land mine that she left laying around the house, and if it's before 10:00, then maaaayyyyybe, just maybe we'll get it on, but nothing to aggressive, nothing "kinky", nothing new, nothing weird, just "come here and get it over with sex."

I've allowed myself to be completely neutered, and I'm miserable because of it.

My whole post is here...

Steve said...


From another real man; and not ashamed of it.

It is nice to see that there is a woman out there that understands.

Leesa said...

First, I would like to say, "screw you, blogger!" I have tried answering posts three different times. Bite my ass!

hubbie of supermom: I said something delightful the first two times. I thought your estrogen comment was great.

united: thanks. Again, I had a better response but now all I can think is blogger sucks!

tony: nice way of looking at it.

shannon: I love to people watch too!

leigh: I can't complain.

stacy: amen about the blogger comment. And I love your "absolutely!"

advisor: you prompted tomorrow's post. Interesting perspective.

steve: yeah, but when I was 19, I did not understand.

Anonymous said...

oglethorpe or savannah? Ive been fantaszing about you for over a year now