Thursday, March 09, 2006

Sit-coms, God and Beaches

Okay, I admit it, I am spent. The post I wrote yesterday, while fun to write, was enormously taxing. But it was a labor of love, or vanity or both. Hard to tell.

This morning in the shower, I lost myself. Not literally – I mean, I would have left a trail of drops that would have been easy to follow back to the shower. I mean, I was thinking about things, all kinds of things.

My mind drifted to situation comedies, or sit-coms. When I was growing up, most of the television was either sit-com or drama. I can't remember much more, besides
60 Minutes. I know, you are thinking, how can this 21-year-old hot babe remember that far back. Just read on, smart ass.

With sit-coms, you have to suspend belief are they just aren't as funny. I mean, if you were a rational person watching Gilligan's Island, you would be screaming at the TV set every episode, and what fun is that? And
Three's Company, please. How real is that. As real as Third Rock from the Sun. Hey, that happened to my cousin. He rented out his place to dorky space aliens.

Anyway, I think it is helpful to suspend our beliefs every once in a while, perhaps that's the whole point of vacations. Well, I have a friend I have been writing – she is having a hard time, and I have thought that she needs some "me time" to do the same. Women need a day at the spa like men will need the first weekend in March Madness. I know hubbie thinks he could still play point guard for Georgia Tech. Talk about fantasies.

Well, again, I will recycle part of a letter for your reading pleasure. I know it is cheap/cheating, but I tend to reveal more when I do so.

I have been thinking about you lately. I thought about you this morning while taking a long shower – my mind was drifting to several things, but you and your marriage kept popping back in my mind.

I would say the first three months of hubbie and my rebuilding was so hopeless. We would talk to the therapist about the same things, argue at home about the same things, cry over the same things. I don't know why it got better – but I don't think I was doing anything differently. Perhaps hubbie finally got the realization that if it doesn't work out, we would have a messy divorce (is there any other way to divorce?), and then he would be on his own. Perhaps my cheating ass was better than some ass he would have to find, romance, and eventually win over. I really don't know what went on in his noggin, and I probably did not want to know. Who knows, maybe he "evened the score". I doubt it, but it could have happened.

You talked about wanting God to intervene in your life. I think God intervenes all of the time but we just don't know it, cant see it. We don't listen close enough to hear him. We have all of this background noise going on, and we don't pay attention. Myself included.

There have been few times in my life when I have actually heard God – no doubt in my mind. And it was so calming – when I figured it all out. Okay, by a few, I can count them on one hand. It is a rare occurrence for me, but I have so much crap going on in my head that it is hard to hear anyone else. Sometimes I think I would make a terrible person with multiple personalities – all of the other personalities would get pissed that I am drowning them out with my own thoughts. Then they would go haywire, and the next thing you know, seven people are missing from the neighborhood, and I would wake up one morning wondering why my feet are muddy and my favorite kitchen knife is missing.

Babe, I have no answers. When I think of you, all I have is more questions. I do know, from what little I know, you are incredibly strong. Sometimes going out to play with the dogs and the kids is the best thing for us, even if we want to travel to some beach where wearing as little as possible feels so right.

Well, here is to everyone finding a little bit of fantasy, perhaps taking your thinking cap off to just appreciate the world around you.


halo said...

"perhaps taking your thinking cap off to just appreciate the world around you."

Im in, where do I sign up? ;-)

Joe said...

My guess is that your hubby realized that he could search forever and never find another woman quite like you. Far better, then, to rebuild a damaged relationship than to always regret having lost you.

Prata said...

*eyes his thinking cap*
I don't function well without that. I need it. I simply can not do without thought, analyzing things around me. Perhaps that is my fatal flaw.

I've never heard the god. The god has never spoken to me, and sometimes I wish it would so I could understand everyone else that seems to have come to understand the god or at least blindly follow the god and be happy.

(this is in no way a derogatory statement on god followers, it's simply a statement of my apparent; to everyone else, ignorance)

Shannon said...


We all need alittle fantasy in our lives.. no matter what it may be. A vacation, a person, a new coat.. whatever.. but it makes daily life seem alittle more tolerable. If we never let go of ourselves to live outside of ourselves then we wouldn't be living.. we would be robots.. lifeless.. meaningless. Our minds are a work of art.. if you ask me.

Have a great thursday !

~Deb said...

Noise. Worldly noise will take you further away from God. It's just as scientific as it is spiritual. In my beliefs---that's the work of the devil. He will put every distraction in your head--make you think unclearly so your communication with God has a lot of static.

That's why meditating in a quiet room for at least 30 minutes per day will help you clear your mind and communicate with God...

I lose myself quite a lot. Always know you can pull yourself back and focus.

What a thought provoking post Leesa!

kathi said...

"...and the next thing you know, seven people are missing from the neighborhood, and I would wake up one morning wondering why my feet are muddy and my favorite kitchen knife is missing". THANK GOD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THIS HAS HAPPENED TO !

TrappedInColorado said...

Wait! You're only 21 and you write like this!? Wow! I am duly impressed.


Nunzia said...

wow that was incredible.

Leesa said...

muse: oh, sweets, if I could book you some time to do this, I would.

joe: that's what I tell myself.

prata: every once in a while, the cap needs to come off.

shannon: wonderful thoughts. Brains as art.

~deb: thanks. I think the noise part may have been the most important part of the post.

kathi: thanks for the smile.

trapped: it was a joke. I am not 21 - I am thirty-cough.

nunzia: thanks, sweetie.

Boris Yeltsin said...

great post - really

SuperMom said...

i love the simplicity of God in your writings. present and operational, but very quiet and gentle. you do reveal the deepest and most valued parts of you in these letters, and i am reminded of the way in which i hear Him. it is through the lives of others. thanks leesa

Leesa said...

boris: thanks, sweetie.

supermom: I am a simple person. So simplicity comes . . . er, simply.

Georgiapeach said...

I really like this too Leesa. Not much to say....
Just learning.

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