Friday, March 17, 2006

Rubber Chicken and Lotteries

Not sure if you get this from my writing, but I am a smart ass. I have a biting sense of humor, and because I can figure out what drives who crazy, I sometimes use that to my advantage. Not often, but when I am in a bitchy mood.

For instance, even though I am on board with the concept of evolution, I have been known to say, "If humans evolved from apes, why are there still apes on this planet." Okay, my statement is wrong on many accounts – it is believed that apes and humans may have evolved from a common ancestor. Quite different. But that's not the point. I just want to tease, and not the sexual tease that I used in my youth.

Anyway, hubbie has a job where I meet many people that have high educations and huge egos. A common combination – and I would say a somewhat dangerous combination. So what do I do – I tease them.

Recently, there was someone – an actuary, I think – who I was having a conversation with, one of these rubber chicken dinner party events. The chicken was actually good, but to the left of me was this actuary. Well, I am not sure exactly what he does because it is so mind numbingly boring, but I do know that it is heavy in statistics. So here is, more or less, the conversation:

Leesa: "So, you know a lot about statitics?"

Actuary: "Sure."

Leesa: "You know what always puzzles me. Why more people don't play the lottery."

Actuary: "You have got to be kidding. Lotteries are for those who know nothing about statistics."

Leesa: "Well, the way I see it, there are two possible outcomes when you buy a lottery ticket. Either you win the jackpot or you don't. So you have a 50% chance of winning the lottery."

Actuary: "You have got to be kidding. Why don't you just buy two lottery tickets and guarantee a win."

Leesa: "Don't be an idiot. If you buy two tickets, you still either win or you don't. It doesn't change the odds."

The whole time, he thought I was serious, and I just wanted to tease him. Funny thing, is that after the conversation, he probably still thought I was some dumb brunette. But that was not the point.

Sidenote: Nikki, bless her heart, invited us to be part of a NCAA BB group (group id# 12076). After the first day of the competition, Rell is winning – but he picked Oklahoma to go far into the tournament, and they are out. I am tied for second after one day (I need to crow now, because my other picks suck).


Grant said...

Better a smartass than a dumbass. :)

I think if somebody tried your argument with me, my response would be "Let's have sex. There's a 50% chance I'll give you a million dollars." Naturally, I'd be very apologetic (later) when I explained that they didn't win that time. "But the odds are still at 50%. Care to try again?"

When I was young and into video arcades, my friends became convinced it was better to bring your own quarters rather than get change there because it would cost twice as much. "First you give them a dollar, then you give them your quarters." No, they weren't messing with me. These were the same kids who believed thunder was the sound of clouds colliding.

Mike said...

Sometime statistical types can't see the forest for the trees huh?

~Deb said...

Not only is being in his company probably boring--but just being 'him' is exhausting. Can you imagine?

TrappedInColorado said...

You're a smart ass!?? I would have NEVER gotten that from your wonderfully witty and "twinkle in your eyes" posts. :)
Grant.. I think I will try that "logic" of yours on the next woman I date. Ofcourse, that would mean dating an unintelligent woman which there are not many of in my world.

Leesa, if I win the lottery because I follow your logic I will pay off your mortgage and offer you husband 1 million dollars to... hmmm.. wasn't there a movie about that?


Tai said...

I'm definately gonna buy two lottery tickets today.

Thanks for the tip!! ;)

KyuBall said...

Even though you were teasing him...the logic behind your statement is still valid. There are only two outcomes.


Boris Yeltsin said...

Pretty funny. "How to short-curcuit a PhD in one conversation or less."

kathi said...

It takes intelligence to be a smart ass, otherwise you're just an idiot. And you darlin, are no idiot.

I tease people like that too, but after a bit they catch on (or they've been warned). I'm with deb on this, he must be boring as hell.

Boris Yeltsin said...

Gave you a shout out on my blog! Meant it, too. You and `Deb should collaborate on a book together. Of course, I'd pay money to watch what might happen behind the scenes!!!! (Not that it would, but just in case....;)

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

Funny story about the actuary…Thanks for the update on the March Madness BB group. It does not surprise me a bit that Rell is winning (smile).

mal said...

some people are "stupid smart" and your actuary sounds like one of them.

when I was single, I briefly was dating an individual that took me to a Mensa meeting with the intent of encouraging me to join. Welllll, what I met were a lot of pompous asses so blown up with their own IQ's that doing anything meaningful was below them or lord help them, have to deal with "lesser mortals". I am sure they had nice members, but I sure did not meet them. That was our last date too.

I think you proved you are not a "Stupid Brunette". Besides, isn't that an oxymoron? *L*

Lee said...

They say an actuary is someone who lacks the personality needed to be an accountant.

Nice "logic" though. Have you considered politics?

Bruce said...

That's the big problem with stat nerds(even the ones not involved in sports); they wear blinders and can't see the big picture...

Leesa said...

grant: I always thought the change machines were the coolest part of the video arcades.

mike: they see the standard deviation of the forest.

~deb: but he seemed happy.

tai: you only need to buy one.

kueball: thanks, sweetie.

boris: maybe there is a book in it.

kathi: thanks, sweetie. But I have to be careful not to be mean.

n search: but rell is going down!

mallory: stupid smart. Absolutely love it!

lee: oh, how clever!

bruce: yeah, I guess the people that thought George Mason was going to loose would be in that group, too. But that would include most of us!