Monday, March 27, 2006

Wondering about Latex

I walk to my office each day – not from home, but from a parking lot that is not exactly next door to the building. I don't mind walking; the weather is rarely bad.

But as I walk, I always pass one site that puzzles me – a single condom that has been walked into the sidewalk. When the condom was "new," I did not see it. I only noticed it after it was walked into the ground. Now I have lots of questions about this little piece of latex.

What events led to this condom being ground into the sidewalk?
Okay, this sidewalk is close to a college campus, dorm rooms – you know, young kids. Oh, crap, I am calling college students kids; sign me into the assisted living home right now. Back to the conjecture. My first thought was that after a late night, a young couple in the early hours of the morning were walking along, holding hands, kissing.

And then they noticed the moonless night, the starts out, and not a soul around. And these young lovers had an idea – not sure who really had the idea first, probably the guy. "No one is around – let me take you right here." Now they may have gone over to the bushes – no forensic evidence gives us a clue. It was probably in the spring, she had on a skirt, and she may not have even removed her panties. The lovemaking was fast, furious, and passionate. But it was probably very brief, the young stud shooting his load into the condom in short order. After coming, the young lass did not have the opportunity to share in the organism. As he was taking off the condom, she was re-adjusting her panties that were pulled out of the way and her skirt.

Great sex it probably wasn't. She was afraid of getting caught. When campus police patrol at 3:30 in the morning, they approach all young couples, copulating or not.

Okay, that was my first thought.

What really happened? Maybe some guy was looking at his wallet, and he had an old condom (unused people) – but he was worried that sitting on his ass all day for a month compromised the integrity of his "insurance policy."

I don't know what really happened, but I like to think about the co-ed straightening her skirt after a romantic interlude.

Who would purposefully walk on such a condom?
Okay, I don't know if the condom in question was used or unused. Regardless, who in their right mind would walk on such an object? Some would not see the object and walk on it. Those are the sorts of people who routinely clean dog poop out of their tennis shoes.

Then there are those who see the condom and stomp on it. Perhaps they have not got laid in awhile and are angry: "Son of a bitch. Some guy got lucky on the freekin' sidewalk."

Did you think I would be writing about latex today?
How many of you thought when you pulled this blog entry up – okay, now I need to read this page on a used condom on the sidewalk. Watching paint dry would be more entertaining.

I mean, if you are not the guy who nailed the lass or the girl who was bent over with such a lovely cock inside her for a brief time, why would you care? Because we are curious people, I suspect. Happy Monday!


Mike said...

Isn't it the little things in life that makes us either wonder about them or make us happy?

TrappedInColorado said...

Very cute post, actually.

Random shoes, shocks, even panties along the road makes me start thinking. Although, I attribute those to a backpack that was not completely closed.

Your first scenerio was much better than your others. I liked it. I would have stepped on it too. ;)


Okami said...

Last week the same thought crossed my mind as I was walking to a class and came across a condom that had also been trampled into the sidewalk.

Glad to know I am not alone in my ponderings on the topic.

KnowOne said...

funny thing is your shoe prints are probably on that condom, seeing you didnt notice it until now, lol

Mark said...

I sometimes see thongs on campus (on the edge of the walk, etc.) and wonder ... did some girl have a quickie here and drop her thong, or did it just fall out of a pocket, or what? I mean, people don't usually carry underwear around (certainly not guys). But like you, I would rather imagine it falling off in the heat of passion and being tossed than falling out of someone's laundry bag.

kathi said...

What makes you think it was a lass or a girl that got nailed? :)
Darlin, you could write about paint drying and it would be entertaining.
I can't imagine, though, how it's "walked into the sidewalk." I'm going to need a picture. I'm a visual kind of gal.

Grant said...

Maybe it was some guy on LSD who got confused and tried to have sex with the sidewalk. Or somebody thought "I'll bet if I drop a condom here and smush it into the pavement, it will really mess with somebody's head."

Leesa said...

mike: yeah, I had a boyfriend once that said his little thing would make me happy. Hmmmmmmm.

trapped: I know, there are lots of bizarre lost items.

okami: first time you posted. Welcome. Funny, though, that others have found

theno1special: actually, I have seen it for months. And it is still there. But it was a pancake shape by the time I noticed it.

mark: panties in a tree - I attribute to pranks. Panties in the bushes, and I wonder.

kathi: yeah, that is an assumption. Perhaps man love was the reason for it.

grant: it sounds like you have experience in these matters, grant.

Mark said...

When I was in college, we visited a sewage treatment plant, and got a tour for the aquatic entomology class I was in. One of their big complaints about things "gumming up the works" was condoms and tampons. While we were, several distended, ghostly condoms floated by, and our crusty old professor remarked something about "scaleless trout", and a couple of young women in the class said "where?" None of us had ever heard that term before, and needless to say, there were a couple of red faces. In fact, I don't think I have heard that term since.

Then I think back on freshman year and the time we filled a condom with about a gallon of water, threw it out a window... and it bounced.

Jay said...

Its mine, I was down there a couple years ago on St patty's and Had me a drunk quickie one night.

Lil Bit said...

Hold up. I'm already confused. Was the condom in or out of a wrapper? Used or not? These are important factors, people. LOL!

Thx for popping by and visiting me. =)

Boris Yeltsin said...

It may have been weighted with a fresh load in it, and tossed out of a moving car from an insurance agent telling his wife the convention was "all business."

It could've been tossed from an apartment window. We never really discussed two gay guys, but it is a possibility. I'd rather stick with the mental image of the hottie lass.

Lara said...

I like how you think.

Now, I probably would see it and walk around it, keeping my distance, while thinking, "yuck... germs"... but nonetheless, I do like how you think.

The co-ed scenario is way hotter! And now I want to be her!

lildirtyann said...

Exactly how does a condom get walked into a cement sidewalk?

~Deb said...

God damn it! STOMP STOMP STOMP These people are having more sex than me--and in a parking lot! STOMP STOMP STOMP! Fricken nymphos that make me look bad in the sack!!!!! STOMP STOMP STOMP I'll show them! I'll jump on this seed filled piece of rubber and hope it goes to hell!!!!!! STOMP STOMP STOMP!!!!!

Didn't take my meds tonight Leesa...

Now if you see a fruit roll up laying around (or a dental dam)---then I'll be really tee'd off.

I need sex. OBVIOUSLY.


Very funny post!

~Deb said...

GAWD! Where's Mikey when you need him? I hope it wasn't his. I think he had an affair on me.

chele said...

Good post. My house backs up to a middle school parking lot and I have seen my fair share of discarded condoms -- although I have never attached a story to them.

Joe said...

Actually, it's more like "Leesa posted and I need to read it because she always makes my day."

Leesa said...

mark: the first time I ever saw a condom in a group, a woman placed the condom over her head, giving us the idea that men are not "too big for condoms", even if they say their manhood is. It pulled her hair though.

jay: so we have met, sweetie!

lil bit: it was not wrapped.

boris: good additions. Seems like you know about getting rid of evidence. Hmmmmm.

lara: you are hot, sweetie. No need to want to be her.

lildirtyann: same way road kill gets worked into the pavement. But not nearly as sexy.

~deb: I have seen saran wrap tossed, and until recently, I thought of some litterbug who ate lunch. Now I am going to think of sexy little red head eating you!

chele: it is hard to attach anything to a condom. They are so darned slippery.

joe: thanks, sweetie.

Georgiapeach said...

The first thing I wondered was "who would walk on a used condom?"