Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Blogger Academy Awards

The Academy Awards were this weekend, and while many have commented on the awards themselves, I would have thought more blogs would be giving their own awards. A little late, but I offer you my own Blogger Academy Awards.

Best motion picture of the year
Not sure I could give this award to only one blogger. So I will give this award to two different bloggers, one male and one female. The female blogger is Shannon, and she deserves the award because of the pictures of her on her blog. It seems like every other comment she makes on my blog has a different picture associated with her profile. And she takes such lovely pictures. In fact, recently, she took some really nice pictures of her, um, pussy. Cutest pussy I have seen in quite some time. You see, she got a new member of the family, a cat. Boys, what did you think I was talking about?

For the Male Picture of the Year, the award goes to Joe. Forget HNT (Half Naked Thursday), Joe gives us "The Week in Pictures" every Friday he is not jet-setting it across the country. The premise is that he takes funny pictures and makes up captions. Really, pee-in-your-panties funny. He even allowed mere mortals to try their luck with captions one week. Really, really funny.

Honorable mention goes to Mark. His blog is a real picture blog, not with the naked kind either. Real artistic pictures. My favorites are of snow and winter (B&W). I don't like the cold stuff in real life, but it is really nice to look at in a picture. And he knows about aperture, F-stops, lighting, all that camera stuff. I know, some people will "catch lightning in a bottle" every once in a while, snapping a great picture. He knows the technical stuff and is much more likely to take a wonderful picture. So he wins the Technical Achievement Award for his picture. You know, the Academy Awards Ceremony that happened before the other Academy Awards Ceremony.

Performance by an actor in a leading role
For his very unusual blog, I would say that Ddot wins this award for sheer volume of comments. The Academy Awards seems to be a popularity contest anyway, and who is more popular than Ddot? He was nearly eliminated from competition by his own IT department, which tried to filter the Internet sites he could reach. And we all know what that means, little Miss Leesa and her smut don't get through. Plus he can't post.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
For his job in setting up Just Walking, the award goes to Prata. We thought it would be fun to start of collaborative blog to write a story; we called it doodling. And prata was the main reason for this – supporting so many others. Now, we have only had about ten posts to date, but it is a fun experiment to be part of. Anyone interested should go over there and make a comment in the comments section. Prata will respond.

Performance by an actress in a leading role
The winner of this award is Monica. I get the feeling that Monica is a supporting role kind of gal, but deserves to be a leading role lady. The only complaint I have is that she uses a blog hosted by MSN, and more than half the time, I can't post a response. Darned IT folks blocking me. They know I say bad things about Microsoft, and they lock me out.

Honorable mention would go to Goddess. I love just reading her, listening to streaming music, wondering about this chick. Her prose is so poetic. I introduced Ddot to her – one of my achievements in blogland. Plus she is a Southern woman, and I tend to see things similarly to her.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
For this, the award goes to Georgia Peach. And this has little to do with her blog as well. Her blog is funny, sometimes serious, sometimes just a cool place to hang out. But she supports so many other bloggers, giving them encouragement, revealing parts of her life that many of us would want to remain hidden. You know, the parts of your life when you are growing up, making mistakes. Okay, I have a soft spot for GP, you know that, but she has made some wonderful comments on others' blogs.

Adapted screenplay
Okay, in the Academy Awards, this is one of those awards that does not have the glamour. But this is an important award for me. The Oscar goes to our very own ~Deb. If you read her, her best posts are her stories. Oh, how I love her stories. Funny stories, touching stories, stories that matter. At least to me. Now she comments well as well, but she is at her best when writing. But what can you expect from a professional writer.

Achievement in visual effects
The Oscar goes to Video X for some of her posts. VX has a way of painting a picture that you don't forget. To this date, I remember her story about her peeing herself while on a trip with so many witnesses.

Original screenplay
Okay, this award goes to someone who probably wants to be a recluse. Touch tushie. The award goes to Muse. Musie has had such an original life. Thus, she wins this award. I absolutely love the way she writes. She also won a Hottie of the Month/Year award – and I can't remember what the site is. Sorry. But that is just icing on the cake. She writes what she feels – and take it from a gal who sometimes shields my most personal thoughts. That is hard to do.

Best live action short film
I am not sure if Kathi still reads me, but I love reading about Kathi's life. Her life seems so real, so American Pie lovely. She has handsome boys, a sense of humor and gives us a glimpse into the sanity that is her life. If you want to live vicariously through the life of a normal person, visit her. Okay, I think I have officially offended all of the other award winners. Crap, crap, crap.

Best foreign language film of the year
This is one of those awards where the winner ran away with the award and hid. The winner goes to Grant, who has such a different voice. Not a good voice or a bad voice, but a terribly unique voice in the world.

Honorable mention would go to Trappend In Colorado. Just yanking his chain – since he works for the Department of the Interior, I figured it would be ironic for someone working for that department winning a foreign award.

Best animated short film
The winner is Mallory. Ms. Mallory writes about all sorts of things – nice short entries about chemical stuff, finance stuff (when the CFO or whomever steals tons of cash), occasionally wonderful family stuff. Really interesting, very different stuff. And I pretend to understand by saying stuff like, "I understand that more than 80 PSI will cause stress fractures in the . . . ." I am a complete fraud.

Achievement in makeup
Okay, I would guess most of the ladies would guess this one. And the winner is Mike. I just like to tease Mike. Probably because he seems to enjoy making fun of himself. But he recently was reviewed by a blog site and it turned out rather well for Mikey. He has a wonderful blog, and if you don't already visit him, don't. I just don't want to share. Actually, you are sharing with ~deb, his virtual significant other. And it makes me a tad jealous.

Of your name is not on this list, consider this: this is a list of award winners, and it sometimes is better to look upon them than to win one yourself. Besides, if you win such an award, you have to find a place for it and dust it regularly. However, I have been told that they make excellent doorstops.


Mike said...

Wonderful post Leesa....and great insight into the people involved...I enjoyed it.

(and thanks for the award)

I always enjoy coming in here to see what you have for us.

Me said...

Hey thanks for stopping by

~Deb said...

*Steps up on podium*

Eh-hem… Uh…wow. I don’t know what to say. (tear runs down cheek) I just want to say thank you God for helping me obtain my mental illness, so that I can achieve an award to display my life like a total insane person. I would like to thank…my mama & papa…for giving me genes that are totally demented and psychotic. Thank you… I would like to thank my family. If it weren’t for them, my life wouldn’t be this dysfunctional. (sniffle…sniffle) Oh God. I don’t want to leave anyone out.

Eh-hem…(another tear falls) I’d like to thank my psychiatrists for all the groovy drugs that he gives me in order to level out my moods. My lifetime partner, Madelene, for letting me drink till I’m in a coma. I’d like to thank AA for giving me the cravings for my drinking problem, and most of all, I’d like to thank Leesa, for giving me my sexual drive back!

Thank you! Thank you! (holds up her phallic-like award) Thank you!

~^~BooM~^diTTy~^BooM~^~^~THUG!~^~ (Deb falls down the stairs of the stage)

I’m okay! I’m okay! Can someone get me another martini please?

Later that night, Madelene found ~Deb passed out drunk on the floor. Click here to view this horrific image.

Joe said...

This is such a surprise. I'm honored. I'd just like to thank...hey...why are you playing the get off the stage music already? I just started...


**dragged off stage**

Prata said...

*saunters up to the podium with a bottle of sake and clears his throat*

I'd like to tell you what kind of bastards I think you are for having not let Joe finish his speech.

I'm Rick James.....bitch!

*walks from podium swigging his sake on the way*

Grant said...

Best foreign film winner? Doumo arigatou gozaimasu. :)

Joe - I support Dave Barry's suggestion that, instead of playing the music as soon as the winner gets on stage, they should just hurl the awards into the audience.

Video X said...

haha! how very creative of you!

i've read one or two of ~deb's stories before...i think they are awesome too.

Shannon said...

Awwwwwwwww how sweet are you?? Thanks sooo much!! I am honored !! Does this make me vein? lol..

But seriously.. thanks Leesa.. I know I change my picture alot...I think I just get tired of the same ole' thing, so I change it up a bit.

Can I thank my mom? And my camera? Ohhh and my dad? I also would like to thank my kitty Cassie.. without her none of this would be possible.. hehehe

Thanks again Leesa!! You get all of the above mentioned awards.. for you deserve them! =)

This was an awesome idea !

Goddess said...

All I can say is "YOU LOVE ME! YOU REALLY LOVE ME!" I feel the tears streaming down my face as the music cues me off..... wait a damn minute! My 15 minutes is not up yet! :)

Goddess said...

Oh, and thanks for introducing DDOT to me, thus meaning you introduced me to DDOT, meaning, well, you are the reason for my internet interracial relationship!

kathi said...

Wow, no words.... Hmmmm, this is the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time. No, wait, last night was pretty good (thanks honey) it's the second best thing in a while.
I don't know of anyone who doesn't adore you Leesa. Your honesty and up front style is so refreshing to me. If anyone deserved an award, my friend, it would be you.
Thanks so much, and this was a very cool idea.

Leesa said...

mike: you know, posts like these do not drive traffic, but they are fun to write.

me: powerful post on your mother's death.

~deb: It looks like you have a lot to be thankful for.

joe: sorry, ~deb took your time.

prata: you used most of your time sauntering.

grant: douitashimashite

VX: thanks, sweetie.

shannon: I do love your photos, especially the one in that oldies baseball cap.

goddess: yes, ~deb has taken your time as well.

kathi: you are quite welcome, kathi.

TrappedInColorado said...

Dept of the Interior? Huh? Anyway... thanks? I want to thank..... um.. nobody. I did it all on my own. So much for keeping a low profile. Dang.

And now for something completely different.

Did I ever mention that I went to a Catholic summer camp in Savannah? Catechism brain washing between swimming, fishing, and games.


Mark said...

Aww Thanks!!!! I quess I could give an acceptance speech, and thank everyone under the sun, including St. Ansel, but knowing that at least one person is enjoying my blog makes it worthwhile. It's especailly meaningful, since I don't have any naked people (oh wait, just one) in my blog...
Thanks, Leesa :)

Leesa said...

trapped: I have participated as an adult leader in a summer camp in Savannah, but it was girls only.

mark: you are quite welcome, sweetie. Keep shooting!

TrappedInColorado said...

Yeah, I heard the girl's camps were much better than the boys. Couches in the restrooms. Real silverware, not plastic. Free mosquito spray. Gorgeous adult leaders.

halo said...

You always have the most original ideas babe. This one is really witty and well thought out and well written. Id say that even without the mention btw. ;-)

Thanks though, Im glad you read me and Im glad you think I do a good job, sometimes I wonder...

Hugss Darling.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

what a cute idea...

thanks for stopping by, hope to see you around..

I love mallroy and mike..those were the only 2 i recongzed there..heehee

Monica said...

Leesa-!~ Thank you!! I (without the aid of my 2nd (or 3rd drink) cried when Reese won...and whined to hubby that I couldn't ever win a best actress award...and now I have! And thank you for fighting your way to my blog, despite the MSN retardness, and my lack of inspired posts lately...but the floors are done, and I get my life back now...guess I should write something now huh?

Boris Yeltsin said...

Deb - I love your writing, but that thing on your blog everyone was talking about where the woman is playing with her boobs - that rocks!

Wenchy said...

I really enjoyed this. :)

Lara said...

I have to agree about Mallory... great stuff but she makes me feel stupid cause I dont' understand half of what she's talking about! LOL

And Mike... well... sorry I think you share him with a lot. but it's ok, I share well. hehe

And I'm a bibliophile too. Wow. I said it. Wrote it anyway... does that count?

Leesa said...

muse: sometimes we doubt ourselves when we are struggling.

bossy: if other bloggers look interesting, give them a try; sort of the point of this post.

boris: funny.

wenchy: thanks, sweets.

lara: not sure I want to be the only one sharing mikey. He prabably has 30 women who write him every day. I did not recognize it until I saw his latest review.

mal said...

actually, 60 inch pounds will do it in a lot cases *L*L*L*L*

Georgiapeach said...

Thanks Leesa for my Award. I truly appreciated it. I wrote about it in a post, but I took the post down before you could read it. Again, thanks a lot. I didn't mean to be rude by not thanking you the day of, but I was so I get like that sometimes.