Show me your brackets

Looks like it will be a late post today. You see, gentle readers, I have spent the morning filling out NCAA Basketball Brackets. There seems to be a national obsession with college basketball this time of year.

I am not much of a sports fan – but college basketball, during March Madness, has its appeal. Sure, you have the most athletic men in the country playing round ball. But, I could care less about that. You have big schools and small schools showing their spirit. Well, that is sort of cool, but you have that in College Football as well. For that matter, I think most college sports have the enthusiasm college basketball shares. But with college basketball, you have a one-and-done contest, where the winner takes all.

But when we talk about March Madness, it is as if the elephant is in the room, and most people don't want to talk about it. The reason that College BB – the big dance – is so much fun is because of Office Pools. And gambling for you degenerates. Some think tank has calculated the costs to business of these pools, and they are enormous. Billions of lost dollars from millions of lost hours. I was doing my fair share this morning (I don't want those PhD types in the think tanks to be wrong), so the post is late. Really late.

And I have a good shot to win our office pool – for honor only, no money attached to this one. Hear that, boss that may monitor traffic, or FBI that is looking for its own (we don't need no stinking warrants for wire taps) reasons. You see, it is not my vast knowledge of basketball. My fifth grade gym teacher taught me everything I know:

• "two points for a basket"
  
• "don't shoot granny-style when fast breaking"
  
• "personal foul on Leesa for pulling down Ted's shorts, that's no way to guard"
  
• "gym shorts make my butt look bigger than it is, honest"
  

Okay, the forth thing I learned years later.

What I am counting on is some novice to win the office pool. Enter Leesa the Novice. And I am not talking about a religious novice – they are monks, right? I can't remember. I am counting on what the others in my office will attribute to dumb luck.

Now during football season, I have won more than my fair square of games. You know, you buy squares for 25 cents each (and SOB, you can't pick your own numbers, there is a drawing), and see what the score is at the end of the each quarter, and if your two numbers match the singles digit of the two teams, you win. Not money, of course, but er, um, the knowledge that you outmaneuvered everyone else.

So, after posting this, I am going back to my brackets. I have to do the Ladies side next. Enie meenie minie moe.