~Deb's Dating Service

~Deb's Dating Service
I was reading ~deb the other day, and she is starting her own dating service. One of her friends, Tamar, needs sex bad. I mean, one of her friends needs to find someone. Well, needs is probably a little strong. She wants to find someone.

Funny how people find one another. There is a movie I have not seen in quite some time, When Harry Met Sally. Interspersed through the movie are couples (actors?) who talked about how they met. Most of the meetings seemed to be chance meetings. Romantic, wonderful … Hollywood. Okay, I am a mush.

How simply romantic it would be to meet someone by chance – "you know, I really don't meet people from the Internet, but I just had a feeling." I met my hubbie by chance. But I am not telling the story – and, no, I wasn't working at a strip club at the time. Nor was I a hooker – I was giving it away at the time.

Love and Marriage
You know why I think most people marry? To have someone else observe their own life, who has a stake in the matter. To be able to bitch and complain, pour champagne in a glass when things go well, lend a shoulder when things go poorly.

I am so happy I found hubbie when I did. I am not sure I would be any good in today's dating scene. But I read about Tamar, about others, and I think to myself, "I wish they could find someone."

You know, love is a madness. You simply fall for someone. But being in love, and being able to marry, those are two different things. To successfully marry, you have to be willing to sacrifice. You have to be willing to accept an "of the rack" hubbie when hungering for a custom-tailored one. And many of us girls don't want to sacrifice for who people are. We want to make them "better." Change their nature.

And I am not talking about turning the other cheek when hubbie is banging the neighbor. I am talking about letting him watch the football game, knowing that black tie evenings are a sacrifice he is willing to make, how cooking the meals doesn't diminish your importance. I have heard that "women often love women who are unworthy of them." It is a saying that has the ring of truth, but I don't believe it. I believe that, for the most part, women marry their equals. Men do the same. We might not see it as so, but our values and theirs are different, and frankly, it is only the married couple's opinion that matters. Well, there are some extreme cases, but we won't go there.

When I was a 23-year-old "old maid," all of my friends were trying to fix me up with people. My friends reminded me of lemmings jumping off the marriage cliff. You know, get the degree in May and get married to the college sweetheart in June. I remember going to so many weddings right after my degree. I thought they wanted me to marry because they wanted me to suffer the trials and tribulations along with them.

I chose to wait.

But now, I think they were just happy and wanted me to experience a similar happiness.

I have lots of virtual friends here, but three stand out as guys that are available and seem like they want to find their soul mates. Again, there are probably more, but at this instance, I can think of three.

1. Ddot. He was the first person I read and liked enough to link to. He lives in the DC area, which means he may live in Virginia or Maryland or the that little diamond we call the District of Columbia, wedged between the states. Funny thing is that Virginians and Marylanders don't like one another. I don't know if they can't stand each others smell or what, but that would be an issue that Ddot could not overcome. He is sexy, smart, shy and funny. And some would call him conceited. I think he is a very complicated man – his blog, which may be endangered due to his local IT department, is a mixture of humor, politics and race relations. With a side of Michael Jordon worship. And when you take a look at his blog, 96% of his readers are attractive women. Grant, Rell and Arson are the exceptions.

2. Joe. He does a weekly picture show on his blog. Not any HNT, but on Friday, he has goofy pictures and writes funny captions. More than once, I nearly wet myself when reading his blog. He is really funny, and from his writing, it sounds like he is a true romantic. Which can be dangerous at times, but he lives in New York City (and the cabbies are dangerous as well there). He may not be at a good "relationship place" right now. Hard to tell. But when you read his posts, he seems so sweet and sincere.

3. Mike. I hesitate to add Mike to the list, as he got married to ~deb, in a blog wedding. But since ~deb still is living with her M, I am not sure this counts in real life. Okay, the downside is that he lives in Wisconsin. I don't even know where that is – somewhere near Canada and no beaches, I think. Again, he is humorous, and is in touch with his feminine side. That's what attracted ~deb, I am sure.

Please note that humor is part of all three of these guys. And that, according to ~deb number two, is real important (see here for the blog entry).

Or you could get a dog. But you can't fuck a dog. And those who disagree, well, let's not go there. I am not copying ~deb's dating service, first because none of these guys is asking me (sorry in advance, sweeties). Second, because – well, crap, it looks like I am copying ~deb. But my point is more about finding someone and less about measurable outcomes. Not that I don't want these stud muffins to find their soul mate, but I am not hopeful. And I am sort of mad at Mike because (1) he married the ~deb babe (jealousy is a bitch), and (2) I was going to write about Subway today.

Squiggly Wiggly
Now I have two squiggly Deb's reading me every once in a while. We all know the ~deb from New York. Well, at least I am very familiar with her. She is very talented and I think she also has a good heart. It seems she does, at least. And then there is a new squiggly ~Deb, a Dr. Deb.

I wrote some dribble today. It started out in my brain as funny, but when I put fingertip to keyboard, I failed. Guess I will try again tomorrow. And it is too darned long.