Friday, May 05, 2006

Ticklish Subjects

I am catching up on some reading – hubbie and I tried having sex for 72 hours straight, and since I did not want to get any goo on the laptop, I have not been looking at blogs this week. Sorry. Anyway, I was reading Joe's blog, and he had a picture of a young woman in body paint.

Body Paint
Unlike the guys who were trying to make out her nipples or whatever, I began to think about the experience of being body painted. I have seen some people with body paint on, not like the picture, but bikini-clad women with paint on their tummies. But I was thinking – okay, fantasizing – about being a model, and having me body-painted for a photo shoot. Now, in this model-fantasy, I am okay about being nude. I figure, you have to dress all day long for photo shoots, and so you are in and out of clothes all day long. So lots of people must see my boobies. Not a problem since I am making ten grand per day. Remember, my fantasy. Oh, and as long is this is my fantasy, Orlando Bloom is waiting for me – he wants to take me clubbing afterwards. Yeah, life is a bitch.

But I could never get body-painted because I am so ticklish. The artist would be painting and then I would be giggling, and all of a sudden, his masterpiece is ruined. I mean, I am so ticklish that he would apply just a bit of paint, and then all of a sudden, I would have a line drawn across my tummy. Not good.

Word Verification
I have also noticed a new feature for Blogger/Blogspot, which is way cool, the accessibility feature in word verification. It looks like this:
Leesa is a Hottie!
You see, all you have to do is click on the image, and then instead of typing in the letters that you see, it gives you numbers by audio. At first, I thought the audio was going to have stuff like trains in the background or birds chirping, children playing, or Shakira lyrics. No, instead, it is just audio that you can actually hear. I don't know about you, but I fail with the word verification about half the time. And the trouble is that I know my ABCs – I learned them in elementary school. For the life of me, I can't guess some of the letters. I sort of think some programmer who hates people (okay, all programmers hate people, so I am being a tad redundant) purposefully puts some function in his work that makes even correct word verification answers fail 35% of the time.

Personally, I don't use word verification – and now I get all these posters wanting me to purchase male enhancement stuff. Not sure what that is all about. No one ever suggests breast enhancement cream. Why is that?

Paris Hilton
I just found out that Paris Hilton has a sister. Okay, having a sister is not that special. Okay, it is special – she can braid your hair, paint your toenails, find out who likes you when you are in grade school. Perhaps she even knows a ninja-bunny dentist.

Okay, I dislike Paris Hilton. No secret there. And, really, I don't think she is that hot. If she were to come into my work today and offer to orally please me, I would say "pass." Even if she were going to videotape the entire experience. She just looks like someone who has had too much tweaking – with Botox and otherwise. If Barbie ever came to life, instead of who I would want her to be, she would be exactly like Paris Hilton.

And then someone told me that Paris is not even the hot Hilton. So I googled Nikki Hilton, and got a view of her. Okay, I know I am going straight to hell for using Google and oppressing the Chinese people, but Nikki looks better than Paris. And I think Nikki is a slut, too. I am not much into pop culture, but the question in my brain is, "Why is Paris so much more popular than Nikki?" Is it that darned little dog she keeps under her arm? Was that sex video that was "accidentally released" that good? Who knows? Must be a marketing scheme or something. I remember when video tape recorders came out, there were two basic kinds in the US – Betamax (or was it just Beta) and VHS. They were completely incompatible. At the time, I thought they were about the same – you put a tape in a machine and watched a movie. My family got VHS, and a whole lot of other families did the same. They ended up dominating the market – thing was, I read later, is that Beta-formatted machines were technologically better – clearer image, etc.

Happy Friday! I think I am going to use the audio word verification on sites I read from now on.


Heather said...

Body painting is fun. Can lead to lots and lots of teasing.. mmmmm

yeah.. about Paris Hilton..
"that's NOT hot"
Being filthy rich and having made the rounds EVERYWHERE in LA is the only reason we even know about her. I think her sister is a little less slutty, but same cloth and all that..

That whole word verification assistance thing.. Are they implying that if you can't read the letters, you are handicapped??
I fail to get them right at least 3 out of 10 times.. bastards.. what's with labels.. who do they think they are???



Happy Cinco de Mayo!!
Have a great weekend!

Grant said...

As an IT guy I can confirm that we hate you all, but the reason for the wonky letters in the word verification is so spammers can't use an OCR (Optical Character Recognition) program to bypass the need for a person to type the letters. Of course, now they should be able to use an audio program to do the same, unless Google gets wise and starts futzing with the audio - adding background noise, or having people with various accents speak the letters. Then you'll be back at square one, especially if people from my home hick town in Kentucky start pronouncing the "ah" sounds like "oh".

And I think both Hiltons look skanky and fake, although Nicky is slightly less ugly. They have that "tanorexic" look, which I think looks worse that platinum blonde hair with black roots. Note to all you tanorexic chicks everywhere - eat a cheeseburger or something. Most regular guys like a woman with curves.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Okay, about body paint made out of melted chocolate? That way, if you moved when the artist tickled you, he'd have to lick if off and start all over again.

Sounds like an idea to me! :)

I CANNOT stand the Hiltons...they are spoiled brats. And I LOATHE the way Paris does that pose for the looks like she's trying to snap her spine the way she poses. Ugh.

(Thanks for clearing up that little wheelchair icon thingie...I had NO clue what it was for!:)

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

P.S. You go Grant!!!

Curvy women rock...;)

Leesa said...

I agree with you on Paris....I never thought she was hot.
I would love the body paint, but I'm ticklish too, so I think the artist would get irritated with me :)

Pittchick said...

i think it would be awesome to be body-painted for a photo-shoot.

I don't use word verification and I haven't had too much spam to deal with. I don't get it right all the time, either. I'm going to try clicking on the handicap signal.

I wish Paris Hilton would just go away. She may be rich and famous, but she's certainly not a contributing memeber of society. I hope her dad never lets her in charge of his hotel chain. I also think Nikki is prettier, but lay off the fake-tan stuff already!

Prata said...

=-( All of my girlfriends have been pretty much boards. know..that's neither here nor there.

Paris Hilton isn't hot to me. Neither of them are.

I painted a chick in liquid latex once (maybe twice hehe) she looked fantastic. She was very shy about it even though we were just staying in the house, because she felt so naked. But she was always shy about that kind of thing. eh. There's that.

Prata said...

Oh and Betamax had sharper picture. The same sort of thing is taking place today with Blu-ray and some other competing application. Since Sony has blu-ray, it's the only one I really care about.

Speakin' my mind said...

If I can't read the letters to word verification because I am handicapped - what am I doing looking at a blog?

Why do they put braile on drive up ATM's?

I'm not even going to touch the skanky Paris subject...her video wasn't even good. It was boring, and who heard of boring porn?

I like Stacy's idea of using chocolate for painting, makes cleaning up that much easier, and a lot more fun!

Camilla said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Party Girl said...

mmmm, body paint.
Liquid latex...yummy

Paris Hilton. I don't get it. Why do we know who she is? Why, why, why? I don't think she is cute or even mildly attractive.

Prata said...

Boards lol You know..tiny fit in your pocket take her to the 'rents sort of girls. ^_^

Leesa said...

heather: so you have been body-painted. Wow.

grant: I sort of knew that about OCR software. That's why I mentioned having background noise.

stacey: chocolate? sounds better to me.

leesa: are we the same person?

dna: really? I am not sure I would want to be body painted. Hence the blog entry.

prata: have your gf's been bored or boards?

speaking: you can actually get a browser that can speak to you so that blind people can "read" websites. The handicap thingie helps them so that they can comment.

pg: I actually never heard of liquid latex. Chocolate - yummy.

prata: funny!

~Deb said...

The whole 'sex caught on video' is a poor marketing tool......a USEFUL one, ha, but... yeh...all about marketing.

Speakin' my mind said...

I have heard of those, just trying to be funny...guess I fell flat...

Party Girl, I have seen liquid latex hell of a show.


Mark said...

Leesa: You can get someone to use an airbrush, which might not tickle as much. Actually, I'd want to use finger paint on you and glitter...

The Hiltons are spoiled rich girls who if they weren't rich, would either be crack whores or store mannequins...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I am way too tickless for that sort of nonsence as well..

Paris's sister is way hotter..she is older, and hotter. I think Paris is really very ugly..

I hate pop culture as well, and wish they would all jsut go away and leave me their money.

Monica said...

How are blind people supposed to see the symbol to click on it?

Leesa said...

~deb: I think Ms. Hilton has an excellent marketing team behind her plastic ass. But I still hate her.

mark: finger paint, nice! I can totally see Paris as a store mannequin.

bossy: you are my kind of girl!

monica: oh, my sweetie, I just notice that you started a blogspot blog. Wow! And you mentioned you will tell dirty secrets to the first 50 people who will link to you. Wow.

Christie said...

You were nominated for an RFS Blog Award!

jackt said...

Paris Hilton: Why is it that these days people can be famous for no apparent reason? She's not an actress. She hasn't lived through some extraordinary experience. I just don't get it.

Ian Lidster said...

Paris has a great team working for her, shitloads of money, the Hilton name, and absolutely no taste or talent. And, like you, if she were to offer oral to me, I too would decline. Read about little rich girl Brenda Frazier from the 1930s, and you'll see Parus in an earlier incarnation. Then, read about Brenda's pathetic demise. See, there us justice. Sometimes there is vindication, like when Paris was so wasted she very obviously peed her pants in a public place in Hawaii. -- oh, and congrats on your 72 hours.

Leesa said...

christy: I have no idea what you are talking about.

jackt: I completely agree.

ian: the 72 hours was a joke. I have not lasted more than 5.

Boris Yeltsin said...

Okay Leesa, since you brought up the notion of turning down a female's willingness to orally service you based on looks, who's the actress or female celebrity who would get the nod? Just curious. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

Leesa said...

boris: that's a hard question to answer. Shakira is too pretty. Holly Hunter too old. Ellen Degeneress too experienced (I would guess). Maybe Keira Knightly.

Edge said...

72 hours is a long time. How did you make it work without being painful?


Mistress99 said...

Hi there! cool site!

Check out my blog about body painting

And Paris is so NOT hot!

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