Classes that Matter

Crap, Crap, Crap.

I wrote the majority of my post for today and my freakin' computer crashed. MS Word did not save what I was doing, and I am upset. It was a good post, a damn good post. Now it is "blowin' in the wind." The answers, my friend, are blowing in the wind, the answers are blowin' in the wind. With apologies to Bob Dillon. Or did Kaavya Viswanathan write those words as well. Whatever, I know I did not write them.

Anyway, the awesome post that was deleted was about VX. You see, VX was posting about her love life the other day. Well, about her being single all these years. And in typical Leesa fashion, I saw her open wounds and sprinkled cayenne pepper on them. I told VX that perhaps it would be better if we had some type of "Picking a Man 101" in college. Ouch. Sorry, VX, you know I love you, and sometimes my fingers just hit the wrong keys on the keyboard. How is that for shifting blame?

But it lead me to think – you know, college is to help prepare people for life. I took many classes in college that didn't seem to prepare me for anything. I mean, how often does someone use college French, or "The History of Europe from 1266 to 1650"? Probably not every day. Don't get me wrong, I think it is important to learn useless crap; that sort of helps us when our bosses give us some assignments when we really don't know why we are doing what we are doing. Logic does not have to enter into the conversation. It is some unique boss logic that they learn in Business School. Anyway, here are some courses that I think should be taught in college, or perhaps they could even be AP courses for High School as well. Some of them, well, PTAs may not want to endorse, but it is all about preparing people for life after they leave Mom and Dad's home.

Dating 101
This is for the guys, primarily. When I was in college, I went on some lame dates with guys that had little confidence. Now I don't know if these were lame people or that they just did not know what ingredients were part of a successful date. For most of these guys, I am thinking it is the latter. So two things happen when dates go bad – the woman looses an evening that could have been good, if not great, and the man, more often than not, will not go past first base. So I think people, okay mostly men, ought to learn how to date. If a woman is boring on a date, for the most part, she just is being kind. She does not want to give the poor guy hope. Sexist? Yeah, but it is true as well. Sorry guys.

How To Find a Good Man 310
This could be a graduate level course as well, because this is a course that is extremely complex. Go ask VX. Or look at the divorce rate – I think finding the right guy might be a large part of the problem. Oh, I have noticed that this is from a woman's point of view. Sorry, this is my blog, and it happens to be from a woman's point of view. If you want a man's point of view, visit Mike. Er, on second thought, his point of view is fairly odd. Visit Joe. Er, ditto. Well, you can visit some male not directly linked to me.

But I really don't know how to find someone using any good methodology. I mean, for me, you date, you get to know someone, you freak out because he has ear hair or flosses with your hair, and you look for someone else. I probably would have been more confident when saying, "I do" if I had one of these classes. Yeah, some people have good hubbies, but a stopped clock is right twice per day. I mean, just because you ended up with someone who you can live with doesn't mean you made a good decision. Perhaps you just got lucky. Such a course is needed.

Blow Jobs 102
Okay, no one ever told me how to give a good blow job. I mean, the first time I "did it", the guy probably hurt. Well, he did, but he did not say anything about it. I mean, he had some girl tonguing his penis. How to complain when the girl can just "bite it off." Monica reminded me of this one. You see, she doesn't swallow. I mean, she wants to, but there is a gag thing going on. I think a little time with a psychiatrist could help with this. "In the past, did you have a bad experience with men? Did you like your father? Do you like the power of denying pleasure?" Okay, none of this is the case for Monica. Heck, she is a cool chickie. But I mean, who doesn't want to give good head? Perhaps there can be a separate course to help out with those who want to be better at going down on the women. And it would be better if that course was taught by a woman – I mean, you can get an education, and for heterosexual women, you can check off your "lesbian experience" at the same time. I am all about efficiency.

And there are lots of other courses I have thought about – how to buy a car without getting ripped off too badly. How to find a job. How to give a massage. But these courses are taught at some colleges, not for credit, but for experience.

Oh, and I completed a meme that I was tagged with, and I lost that one as well when my computer crashed. Crap. Crap. Crap. I guess I need a course on how to swear. I mean, what the fuck.