Monday, November 28, 2005

Great Expectations

Okay, on Friday I sort of let it all hang out and posted what I thought was going to be this truthful post that everyone was going to hate. See, it was about porn – and not about how I love to watch porn with hubbie while he mounts me from behind. It was a grimmer view of an industry that has given joy (or at least a release) to millions. Perhaps billions.

You see, we all have a mental picture of the world, whether we realize it or not. Steven Covey calls it a road map or a map or something. I read one of his books – maybe two of them – more than a dozen years ago, well a long time ago – and you know I don't like researching stuff. It is much quicker to make stuff up. Anyway, this overcompensated business expert (or book seller, based on your views) says that we have this map of how the world works. You have a map, I have a map, and they are probably different maps. Now, Ddot would have you adopt his map – so we would all be on the same page, so to speak. Ddot has a good map – just read his blog for yourself to see – but his map is probably not your map.

Anyway, we evaluate (some would say judge) things with our own maps and own values. A map is how we see the world, and a value is how we want the world to be – or I guess, what we find particularly good about the world.

When I was in college, for instance, I really did not have a high opinion of strippers. Why? Was it my Catholic upbringing? Probably not. Once I was told that if I kept a penny between my knees, I could do anything I wanted on a date. I was told a lot of bizarre things as a maturing Catholic girl. But why did strippers bother me? Well, I was a young woman, I had a good bod, and here there were girls/women with comparable bods taking off their clothes, and all you had to do was pay $6 a drink for watered down booze. Instead of buying me several dinners, including drinks, and then you would get to see an amateurs' bod for a heck of a lot more money. So strippers were really my direct competition – and for boys/men with math skills, I was in trouble. But strippers aren't supposed to let you touch – a benefit from dating me, and if I was particularly horny or drunk, you got to touch quite a bit.

Now, lately prata has been coming by and reading my dribble. And I will have to admit, it has been hard for me to explain myself to him. Part of the reason is that our two maps are so different. And, KyuBall posted a response to my last blog entry that said it much more succinctly than I ever could have: "The reason I can still get it up for these fine films is because I can turn off my conscience for 10 to 15 minute 'spirts'". In prata's mind, we always do rational things. Why did I cheat on my hubbie when I said I loved him? Perhaps I became good at turning off my conscience for, well, an hour at a time. And, looking back, some of the things my occasional lovers and I would talk about was weird – their spouse, their kids. Why the heck do those things come up – but I have been told that that is a natural subject by my therapist. And he probably has seen all sorts of stuff.

So, the other day, I expected the blogging world to say, "Hey, don't take away my porn." Not that my post suggested that at all. But instead, I got some very thoughtful comments. My map is that all people who use the Internet are porn junkies – and the map is incorrect. But with my map, I expected an outcome that I did not get.

I think I am babbling now. I should stop. Maybe I will get some porn. Just joking. But seriously, I used to like to go into movie rental stores that have an adult video section, linger behind the curtain for a while and come out. Invariably the clerk (a middle aged man in all cases) would ask if I needed help. I would go to the counter, lean over and whisper, "No thanks. Sometimes I just come in to masturbate to the video jackets." And then I would leave. But I cannot take credit for this – a girlfriend showed me that trick years ago. I just love the shocking expression the clerk has! Priceless.


Jodes said...

wow, what a post!! My blog is so boring compared to yours!! LOL.

Joe said...

Another brilliant post. If you weren't married, I'd fly down to Georgia and...uh...have no shot at you.

Never mind..

I think what it all comes down to is not judging others by our own standards, especially in light of the fact that we so rarely live up to the standards we attempt to hold ourselves to. Then again, maybe that's just my map.

I just find that I learn far more about life from people who view the world differently than me than I ever do from people who agree with my views.

Prata said...

Well man I like made it into a post. Neat! ^_^

I'm glad that I'm capable of challenging someone that has apparently much more experience than myself in the world, and hopefully I've not come off as an asshat in the process.

Though I would hope that everyone would at least make the attempt to do something rational each and everytime, I know that's not true. I know that I with much more frequency than not, manage to do rational things I can not hold anyone else to that. I don't condemn anyone for simply being human.

I view the world with a healthy dose of objectivity, although everyone's view is subjective...based upon their system of values and beliefs. Can I say that I am better than you (or you or you or you); certainly not. Can you say you're better than me because I don't adhere to any of your principles (or yours or yours or yours) I should hope not but you're welcome to do so (and so are you and you and you).

I agree though, my map of the world and yours are completely different and I don't think that's a bad thing. I learn from learn from me..(maybe) and then everyone reaches a nice middle ground. Glee!

Ddot the King said...

Great post Leesa. Yes I do believe that my map is better and when I say better what I really mean is....well...BETTER! HA!

Since I know you're religious I would say that there really is only one map and it's up to us to figure out what it is and then work hard to follow the path of that map. When imperfect people start drawing their own maps it will only lead to trouble.

Georgiapeach said...

Leesa, why am I over here laughing so hard... My sense of humor is really warped, I tell

But you know what is though, those comments you left on my post were so darn funny to me. So maybe I am still giggly about

Kind of off the subject: I have always been so jealous of strippers. One because some (meaning SOME) of there bodies are nice, and the main reason is because when my boyfriend goes, he is spending MY HARD EARNED MONEY (not literally, but money that should be going to me because I am greedy and I don't want my man paying other women bills even if it is only chump change)

Yo, I started laughing so hard when you mentioned Prata (Hi Prata! Nice to meet you), because I have noticed him too and he always has very detailed yet intellectual comments to make (@ Prata, seen you over there on No_the_game blog). So that was funny to

When I was younger I would mastubate to the porn That was funny

You should drop two posts a Because I am always over here craving for some You might as well... I know you think about what you are going to write next all the time. So you might as well keep the momentum going (showing the spoiled and sly side of me).

Leesa said...

jodes: You site is a whole lot more professional than the cookie-cutter site I have.

joe: Yeah, the only guy from NYC that I ever dated only wanted one thing from me, to shave my muff. Sort of kinky - which lead me to believe (probably incorrectly) that all NYC inhabitants were likely kinky.

prata: Yeha, you get under my skin, prata. I think that different maps are a good thing.

ddot: Welcome back - check out Friday's post. I was sort of proud of it.

GP: I always enjoy your posts as well. I figure if I was about 10 years younger and we met in college, we could have gone trolling for guys together. It would have been a hoot (crap, I always sound like I am living in the freekin' 80s).

Joe said...

Interesting point of view on NYC guys.

Not accurate....just interesting.

Slut Betty said...

Great post again Leesa... one "might" think... the way my blog is that I am a porn junkie (well I am LOL)... hehehe... actually I am very selective in the porn I actually like...
"a penny between your knees" I was told that as well and I wasn't raised Catholic OR even religious of any kind actually... I think it was just one of them "olden days" things ;-)

Thomas said...

I think that some women are turned on by being in porn as much as the men are, and in many cases more so. Women getting into the industry are going in with eyes wide open and informed like no other generation. The former starts are there to guide the new talent and advise them of the pitfalls and problems.

My father used to say that women really rule the world because they have half the money and all the pussy, and I have to believe that is more true in adult entertainment than anywhere else.

Just my personal opinion, mind you.

And for the record, I was a God-fearing Catholic until my early 20's when I realized that organized religion is a poor artifice of worship.

Prata said...

Hi nice to meet you! Does that feel weird sayin' that in someone elses blog and comments? Yes...yes Prata is does. ^_^

Yes, I can tell I get under skin. I don't do it on purpose. by that I mean I don't come here and go..."okay, let's see what I can knit-pick and completely piss Leesa off with today!" No...really....I don't. However, people do tend to become exceptionally unhappy when they have their views challenged. I think the real challenge is to first make the best attempt to articulate what it is you exactly have a problem with (which is why I'm so freakin' wordy lol) and then analyze that with your own set of values. The really hard part comes when you're attempting to articulate the why factor. Why can be very hard for anyone especially me to put forth in some reasonable manner. I hope that when anyone asks a question of me and I make the attempt to respond..that I am capable of doing that. I have failed many a time before..and that to me is always a problem (for me that is).

I can dig this right here: "And for the record, I was a God-fearing Catholic until my early 20's when I realized that organized religion is a poor artifice of worship."

Of course I took what some people would view as extreme and simply dropped the traditional definition of religion all together. I suppose there's a reason why people argue whether zen is actually a religion or a philosophy. Personally I don't think it matters much.

~Deb said...

Hmm... There was a time when I made my girlfriend walk into the adult section of the video store, to rent a movie. Well she was just as embarrassed as I was, and as she walked through the 'beeded curtain'---the curtain came crashing down, and her face--the look of horror on her face---PRICELESS! Then she grabbed any ol' porn from the shelf and put it on the counter.

"Wild Orgy Parties"

It was hysterical. Online stores are the way to go. ;)

Leesa said...

canadian rose: thanks for changing your pic (although the nude backside was pretty, people at work were thinking that I was surfing porn when I was blogging).

thomas: unfortunately, my vagina has never earned me a dime. Well, I did not mean it that way. Where the heck is the delete key? Back-space . . . .

prata: getting under my skin is not because you are challenging my viewpoint. I just think sometimes we cross paths - we don't know what the other is saying.

deb: here's the way I look at it. Online stores have a record of my purchases. Seedy rental stores may not be connected to Big Brother (and my mother). I pay cash - register with fake info, cross state lines. Not that I have ever done it.

Storm said...

Great post. I like your map analogy.

Prata said...

Well yes, there is that sometimes. Text conversations aren't always the best forum for getting something across to someone..especially if your type of verbage (such as mine) depends on tone sometimes.

High Desert Diva said...

Great posts! I love debate & controversy. I had a girlfriend that was a stipper. She made a ton of money and did NOT do drugs or have sex for money. She really enjoyed it because she felt sexy and powerful. She had another girlfriend that introduced her to the stripping business...her friend also didn't do drugs or prostitution. My girlfriend is now happily married with children.

I think in many cases you're right...but, like my girlfriend, there are always exceptions...and yes, I've watched the occasional porn & visited a strip club or two.

Perhaps your stripper-in-law would have still gotten into trouble without the stripping...maybe not.

kathi said...

I honestly think you and I could have caused so much trouble if we'd been friends b/m (before marriage), and actually, probably still. We're too much alike.

Barney said...

lmfao@ this!!: "No thanks. Sometimes I just come in to masturbate to the video jackets."

I Would have replied:...."like i said, need any help?" ;-)

Leesa said...

high desert diva: You are right; I think she would have gotten into trouble anyway.

michael: And I would have not missed a beat in responding, "No thanks. I already got my O. Maybe next time."