Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Empty

I have a fear. One day I will wake up, go to the computer, log on, and have nothing to say. That will be it – I will be facing my three-year-old blurry picture, my cookie-cutter blog, and think to myself, "I have nothing else to say. I am tapped out."

When I started this – I was just looking for a place to hang my 15 stories (actually, there were only 11 – one was a 4-parter, one was a 2-parter). That's all I wanted. I took time on those stories – and I enjoyed writing them. I mean, I really enjoyed writing them (hitting the reader over the head, please read: "I masturbated while writing them – they are my erotic dreams, perhaps the dreams of a sick woman.")

And no one cared.

Then I started writing my tripe, and people came by to say how dumb I was, how funny I was, whatever. Attention. And like any good attention whore, I was hooked.

And now I am thinking – now, I can hope interest for a week, a month, maybe, but I am not all that interesting a person. I am really not. One of these days I will run out of ideas, and that will be the end. Synapses will stop firing in new patterns, and I might start writing something, and then think, "I have already written that."

I started around the first of September – and already I have seen a couple of virtual friends drop out of this blogging marathon that we do.

This occurred to me when I was thinking of how different our lives are – as apposed to a dozen years ago (had I written this on myspace.com, I would be more right since the majority of them were in diapers).

We are unlocking so many mysteries, medical, technological, all sorts of mysteries. The Lock Ness Monster was a fake (I hated finding that out), people are working on an AIDS vaccine (still wear condoms, not fully tested). All sorts of things.

Coming into work today I was thinking to myself, "Why have they not found out how to mimic an orgasm?" I mean, men can take a pill to get stiffy (and blue vision, a bonus side effect for some of them). We should be able to mimic an orgasm.

But then I began to think – holy smoly, if someone did come up with a device, a pill, a something, it would be the end of society as we know it. I can picture women in dark alleys, mechanical devise in their vagina, just enjoying multiple orgasms. People would starve or steal or whatever, just to get those magic Os.

Heck, if I had such a devise now, I would have it in, start to blog, and then have an O, have another O, and then think, "Holy smoly, who the heck cares about blogging, when I can feel this good." I mean, there would be a disciple of science set up just to take care of the side effects – something for the nipples, because with all of those Os, you know you would have sore nips.

Or men, you would have – well, I don't know, a sore stiffy. I was always told about blue balls – never saw any, but I am not sure that men "need to release every once in a while." I think it is a ploy to get a random blow job.

I was just thinking . . . . guess I am not out of ideas yet. One good thing about brain spasms. But until they invent the magical orgasm devise (I would definitely be an addict) or I run out of ideas, I guess I will pour them out somewhere.

22 comments:

Prata said...

I'm told crack is on par with the endorphine rush of orgasm. Coke is as well..as I'm told. I've never smoked or used any drugs or anything so I can't prove that..oh..and Heroine (all of these of various intensity as well).

I guess that is why addicts of those drugs have their life obliterated for the most part? Well coke I understand people don't get entirely hard up on all the time but heroine and crack well...that is how I understand it anyway.

I don't necessarily fear having nothing to write about anymore, but I think about it on occasion. I imagine when I do finally stop having anything creative to say..I'm boned. That's gonna suck. lol

Leesa said...

prata: I was wondering if some drugs were close. I am scared of using drugs for that reason. I am probably one step from a crack whore. Just fortunate I have never tried crack.

Joe said...

Oddly enough, I read about an expirement a few years ago in which they wired electrodes to a rodent's brain to simulate the feeling of an orgasm. He could hit one trigger to have an orgasm and another to get food.

They found that the mice would starve to death. I think I'd do the same thing. All I'd need to make it complete would be a leesa pic on the wall before me. ;-)

As for the blogging thing. I wrote every day when I started. Now I write only when I have something to say (I'm just hoping that one day I'll actually have something interesting to say)

Clearly, that's not a problem here. You're intelligent, witty, and insightful and I hope I have the pleasure of reading your blog for years to come.

Video X said...

3 years old?! haha...my hair is cut like that in that picture (and of course i went back to dark color) and i kinda was uncomfortable with it but i liked your picture so i left it this way using that as a guideline for looking good! now i find out i'm behind the times! blech...who cares i've always been behind the times anyway! i'm never cool.

ok...that probably sounded a bit stalker like...i'm really not i promise.

i never have much of anything to say. at least you have a point about what you're writing...actually i do have things to say, but when i start to write something halfway serious that i actually feel somewhat passionate (or not even passionate...but maybe the slightest bit of care about)...i never post it. maybe i will eventually but i dont have a lot of time and it's easier to post the stupid crap i do.

your posts actually make me THINK. and that's a good thing. and they are FUNNY...they dont hurt my brain with too many facts but just enough to get me thinking about something...i like them. you dont have to "have something to say"...i guess is the point, but i think it's coming out all wrong here...i'm sounding like a dickhead but that was not my intention. hopefully you'll understand! haha!

Leesa said...

joe: Thanks for adding scientific validity to what I suspected. I am sure my paw would be on the orgasm lever each and every time. "Weak from lack of nourishment." (hits orgasm lever again) "Ahhhhhhh."

Vid X: Thanks for the semi-compliment. Leesa read it as "thanks for not making me think too much - you make me laugh. I can type dick, too."

I have not seen the word "dickhead" recently. If a dickhead and a butthead run into each other, do we consider that anal sex?

Slut Betty said...

OMG LOL too funny... but really... I think if there was a "magical" device it just would never be the same... I mean come on! Would you REALLY enjoying having the orgasm as much then?

Video X said...

man alive i suck. it really was supposed to be a whole compliment...any of it really. i am awful at writing things. i've really pissed people off before via email when i thought i was being funny or something. oh...cocksucker is another good one.

halo said...

Honestly, I love everything you write. You have a wonderful way with wrds, and I hope you dont fall off the blogland cliff. ;-)

Leesa said...

Rose: Unfortunately, I would be plugged into the device day and night, like some sort of Orgasm Junkie

Vid X: I was joking.

Muse: I have heard that given enough time, a bunch of monkeys could write a Shakespearean play. I am trying to do the same thing. "I rose by any other name . . . "

Thomas said...

I have two words for you... The Sybian.

It's a magical orgasm machine that costs $1500, is noisy as all fuck, as big as a horse saddle but damned if it doesn't do the trick.

I very nearly cheated with a woman who owned one. She was an orgasm junkie who wanted me to screw her up the ass in a counter rhythmn while she had the machine work her pussy and clit. (The double attachment offers only a synchronized thrust.) She ended up finding a unique solution to her problem and a new kink... but I dare not mention specifics lest your more sensitive readers freak the fuck out.

Georgiapeach said...

If they came out with a pill like that. It would be beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Some of these bitchy women would probably be a lot less bitchy. It would be great. A decrease in sexual frustrated women.
But then again, I would be one of the dopes, that decide to abuse the damn drug. Something crazy like that. End up have an overdose at my desk. Something real embarrassing.
Personally, I don't have a problem with achieving an orgasm. The wind can damn blow and I can get one (years of practice..lol). It's those darn multiple orgasms that seem to get me. I have to be tore up from the floor up to get one, for some reason.

sjblogger said...

See now that pill makes me wonder. If you got addicted to it would you turn into a "Orgasm Pill Whore" I mean if it gives you orgasms will sex ever be the same?

And I can't express how dissapointed I would be if one day I showed up and you just stopped writing. I love your insightful writing and your tongue in cheek way of going about it.

Sure I love the erotic stuff, and that's what I came for, but I stuck around for the intellectual stuff and the prose that you write really makes me think sometimes.

Here's to hoping you don't fall off of the bloggerland radar!

auburn said...

i also enjoyed reading your blog. some people's posts get long and i zone out, but with yours and gp's, i really dont cuz its all interesting. the stuff you talk about reminds me of how me and my friends used to be with each other - always open and honest, about everything. people would hear what we were talking about and try not to listen..lol they were so embarrassed, but we didnt care! so i guess what i started to say is....even if you feel you dont have anything interesting to say, just blog about it anyway, cuz im sure to someone it will be interesting.

Storm said...

I sometimes have these very same feelings about running out of ideas. My post for tomorrow is evidence of that.

SignGurl said...

I enjoy your blog and hope that you continue on for a long as you see fit. You rock the erotica!

Boris Yeltsin said...

What SJBlogger said.

kathi said...

Me too, total blank. But then it starts pouring and I wish I didn't have anything to say, or could think of a way to shorten it.

Leesa said...

All: Thanks for your kind words. I was not saying that I was thinking of turning it off. Just afraid I would run out of stories.

And I sometimes cut myself off because I don't want too many people zoning. I guess my attention span is fairly good for blogging. Cookie, I want a cookie.

Rell said...

ummm, the Loch Ness monster is a fake? Where'd you find this out at?

Don't crush me like that :-(

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