Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Bathroom Break

I am not in a good mood. This blog entry will probably be sh-tty, and it is fitting, because I wanted to talk a bit about bathrooms.

Have you ever noticed that once in a while, you will hear or read something bizarre, then trip over another bizarre thing, and then another. Numerologists sometimes talk about the rule of three. Not sure I believe in that – though, I never knew I tended to be Buddhist until quite recently.

Well, I was reading one of Deb's posts recently – and the post concerned one of her dates, a trip to the bathroom and a very bizarre request. Read her blog entry entitled "Competing with a Man." But I have a couple of requests before you read Ms. Deb: (1) don't fall in love with the chick. She is in a monogamous relationship, and men and woman tend to lust after this woman; and (2) don't tell me, "thanks for the link. Looks like I will be reading her instead of you, second-class heterosexual witch." Why for the second one – it is just not nice, bad karma and all (another Buddhist comment – I started hedging my bets, what if I am wrong? Rooting for the wrong religion and all. Just kidding actually, but might as well keep an open mind.)

Anyway, after reading Deb's blog entry – oh, and by the way I learned another word: cha-cha. Much less embarrassing to say than the P-word. The Cliff's Notes version of what happened dealt with some seductive words exchanged in a bathroom after the heroine dodging kisses from the cute blond. The thing that puzzles me is why call it a cha-cha when you are that brazen to ask someone to wipe it?

Moving to instance two – heard on the radio about "Two NFL cheerleaders arrested in bathroom sex incident." Sports Illustrated has the full story here, but let's just recap it for you: two women were having sex in a bathroom stall, a third woman, probably doing a pee dance, just wanted in the stall (not for the sex, but to void urine, imagine using a stall for its intended purpose), and complained to management. She must have really had to go.

Heck, I can see going to the men's room – men are so cool about clearing out for women, they really are. Then she could have peed, and returned to the performance area in the other restroom. Makes sense to me.

Numerology – everything in threes. Numerology is – no pun intended – crap, but people think this way. The third event actually was bouncing around in my head. Not sure I want to relay all of the sordid details, but more than 2 years ago, I was at a club, the music was good, I was dancing with some random guy. "Cute as hell" guy – probably in college. To cut out the details, I ended up having unprotected sex in the men's room with this guy that night. Caught a STD – treatable with medication, shared it with hubbie, hubbie caught said STD, and he knew where he got it. I confessed to cheating, and as they say, "the rest is history."

Not sure why sex in bathrooms is so rampant. Because for each time you hear about it, it is happening other times as well. And bathrooms are dirty. Yuck.

I need to take a shower. Maybe I will invite Deb.

6 comments:

Georgiapeach said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Georgiapeach said...

Oh man, too funny. Girl, bathrooms are disgusting to me too. But if you do it, you are "Soooo Adventuress"...lol. Sometimes U walk in the bathroom and think, "Could I have sex in this bathroom". Leesa like I said before you are my role model!! The damn cheating on your hubby bit was so Georgiapeach. The consequence and all! I'm cracking up!

Please delete the above removed comment. I did it and it's irritating..lol!

kathi said...

I've 'played' in a few bathrooms, but they weren't my finest moments. Now...no way in hell. Maturity, it's a wonderful thing.

Bert Ford said...

Cha-cha? Pussy? Who cares.
I’ve always prefered th C word.
Cooter.
I’ve heard that the more important something is to a culture the more words they have in their vocabulary.
Here’s a little poem I wrote a while back for the amusement & edification of my friends.
I hope you enjoy it.

Ode To The Female Genetalia
If half the world laid down and spread its legs it would reveal
That warm moist realm in which each male alive would love to feel
From hirsute orbs and shaft up to his helmet up above
That wet sweet land between the thighs beneath the curlies of
The Mount of Venus where there lies a never ebbing flow
The flavor sweet as treacle, the shape a camel’s toe
The first time that I ventured to this land I was a boy
From that place returned a man, quite spent, but what a joy
To linger there an hour or so to lap upon the shores
Of milk and honey oceans, the real estate of whores
As hairy as a poodle’s back or shaved smooth as a peach
To frolic there a while and then to plow that golden beach
To sup upon the juices there as greasy as baked mutton
And then to turn my tongue around that tiny little button
The horn of lost Vallhala I would bring unto my lips
To quaff the mead therefrom I’d hold on tightly to her hips
And suck into my mouth that little sailor we all know
To make him dance around his boat, I’d lick him to and fro
And like a snake into a hole to catch a frightened bunny
I’d slide my tongue to catch each precious drop of golden honey
If I were a temple knight this holy land I’d ravage
Except for vegan chicks, you know they smell a bit like cabbage
From virgins, whores, and hotties to the biggest diesel dike
Supine I’d lay and they could ride my face just like a bike
And rub my nose into their rose so dusky, brown and tight
Without complaint I’d lick their tain’t ‘til morning turns to night
And through the night ‘til dawn upon that little bean I’d feast
And sate my red capped warrior within the two backed beast
Ev’ry time I leave that place within my soul does burn
A heart felt surge, a needy urge, desiring to return
But, If I’m ever banished from this warm enfolding land
Don’t worry ‘bout my pecker, I’ll just wank it with my hand
- Bert Ford

The Humanity Critic said...

Too funny. Not a big fan of bathrooms myself.

~Deb said...

Leesa... I'll be in the shower waiting... *looking at watch* ha!

Well thank you for putting me down on your post.

The "cha cha" really had me baffled, that's for sure.

I think the whole concept of the 'bathroom sex' is that it is semi-private, but yet, it's public. Public sex is very exciting (I am sure you have a story or two about that somewhere in these archives!!!) ;)

Back to this shower thingie.....when you coming in???


And hey! I may be coupled up with someone, but hell if I'm dead yet! Love flirting with gorgeous women.